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• February 9, 2012 5:49 a.m.

  After 10 months of trying to concieve, countless pregnancy tests and doctors visits, we finally got a positive test in December. Dr. confirmed our pregnancy at 5 wks and 1 day. I had my first OB appt. at 10wks and that's when we first tried to hear the heartbeat. I remember being so excited for that moment, but it didn't come. Being I was only 10 wks, Dr. said not to worry come back in two wks and we will try again. Two days ago that time came and once again our hopeful moment of hearing our baby's heart did not come. Shortly after leaving the Dr. I started to spot. I immediately called to see if I should come in and was told I would be unable to get an ultrasound until 8 am the nxt morning. I remember thinking to myself around 6 am that no matter what we found out in a few hrs. would change our lives forever. Sadly, the outcome was not good. I was 12 wks and 3 days and the ultrasound showed at 7 wks and part of the tissue was stil attached to my uterus. I still haven't came to understand how I could make it to 12 wks, reach my "safe date" and show no symptoms until now. It's going to be a rough road ahead, hoping to avoid having to go through a d and c at this point but only time will tell. I just have to believe God had better plans for our baby and knew something was wrong that couldn't be fixed.

  - Steph

• February 5, 2012 3:48 p.m.

  After trying for a year, I found out I was pregnant on June 2, 2011 that I was pregnant for the 1st time. I found out on July 2, that I had a blighted ovum. At that time I was 9w4d. I choose to take cytotec to induce a miscarriage instead of a d&c. I found out on January 13, 2012 that I was pregnant for the 2nd time. On January 21, I started to bleed and cramp some. I feared that I was having a miscarriage and when I went to the doctor on Jan 23, they confirmed that I was having a miscarriage. At this time I was 8w1d. They said this time that it was a chemical pregnancy. In both cases, there was nothing that I could do to prevent either of them. My doctor told me that at the first site of a + pregnancy test to call the office because they are going to put me on a progesterone supplement for the 1st 10 weeks.

  - April

• February 5, 2012 4:47 a.m.

  Last Jan 26, we celebrated the 9th birthday of my firstborn, Francin. Same day, I gave birth to a dead baby girl, on her 29th weeks. Under normal circumstances, she could have survived but her circumstances is not normal. Her development was way too late, she just weigh 400grms and she has cardiomegaly, an enlargement of the heart. Despite of what the doctors were telling me, i was hopeful that she can make it. Just before we found out that she was gone, my OB and I were discussing of possible medication for her, It did not sank immediately, the shock came very slowly. I was driving under heavy rains and i cried like hell. I was all alone at that time. I was like a robot, making arrangements for the burial of my unborn baby. After her memorial service, I have to empty my closet of my maternity dresses. That was when the final reality came in. I have been to a lot of trials, painful experiences in the past, but nothing can compare to the pain of losing my baby. I blamed myself, some people who did not make it easy for me while I was pregnant. Everyday, the pain still lingers. my husband and family are very supportive. Deep in my heart, i don't know when the hurting and crying would stop. To my angel, you stayed for only a while in my womb, but forever you will be etched in my heart. I won 't be able to hold you anymore, the cradle I wanted to put you in was now small dark box. Your memory will always be painful but i want you to know that I love you so much.

  - Cristina

• February 2, 2012 5:00 p.m.

  Im 26. Last summer I found out I was pregnant with my first baby. I was so excited. Three weeks later I had a miscarriage. I was only 8 weeks, but still, I was devastated. Took me a long time to get over it. Two weeks ago I found out Im pregnant again..Im at six weeks now and praying every day and every minute for this baby. Im hoping for the best...

  - Kristyna

• February 1, 2012 7:07 p.m.

  Hey Krista-I just went thru the same experience about 4 weeks ago. We saw a heartbeat at 7 weeks and went in at 11 weeks after light spotting and learned the baby had stopped growing 2days after our first ultrasound. Each week gets a little easier to deal with it but I will find myself tearing up quite often and harboring a lot of anger for the pregnant girls I know. Testing showed nothing was wrong with the baby or me so not sure what that tells us. I'm so sorry you had to go thru this too. I hope it gets easier for you. We had a DNC and the dr said we can try again after 2cycles. I have found it helps to talk about it with someone and you'll find that aLOT of women have gone thru this. Keep your head up and ill say a prayer for you.

  - Jen

• January 30, 2012 7:13 p.m.

  I'm 38 years old never been pregant before. The day I found out I was pregant on a sat the 14th... I was so happy. My whole life has been devoted to the Navy and now it would be my turn. By wed the 18th I was telling my Navy doctor that I had light spotting and cramping on the left side. He sent me to the ER to be safe in NJ. Well my HCG level was only 70 and they saw nothing with the Ultra sound. They gave me a list of things that could be wrong miscarriage,eptopical,early pregancy,and etc. I was so upset with myself and praying for a miracle for the next two days as I drive home from NJ to VA because the ship did not want me to ride back for my safety. A couple days later my HCG was 75 but because I was now at a differnt doc they want me to do it agian it was then 44 and a couple days later 68. They schuduled me for a D and C for the 6th and I can't stop crying. I have never felt love like this and don't want to face this loss. I'm eating up a storm and hating myself. I keep thinking that people at my job hate me because I became pregant too. I have so many things running throw my head and nothing adds up. It's like I have a small sign of the crazies. I'm blessed to have felt this love but not sure if I can let go off this saddness. I always thought of myself as strong and a problem solver. I just want to sleep and eat. My boyfriend has been great but is gone on business.. I need to get over this ASAP becasue I go on a 8 mth deployment in two mth.

  - Ali

• January 29, 2012 12:35 a.m.

  i dont know what to think right now 1st baby n at the 3rd u/s showed 6w2d 2nd us showed 5w5d 2 weeks apart, did a few more tests. im in so much pain right now yesteraday she took meds to induce mc there was no baby only sac i wanted a kid so bad for years is it normal for a guy to be so emotional over this is there anything to help insure a normal pregnancy? We were taking prenatal vitamins. Any help or advice.

  - jon

• January 25, 2012 6:57 p.m.

  It will be a week tomorrow since i had the d and c done. Last week i went to my doctor in a panic bc i started bleeding. I was 2 days shy of my 12 week mark. we found out i was pregnant at 6 weeks by an ultra sound. i saw the heart beat. it was the most amazing site. When we went in to see what was going on thats all i wanted to see. My baby's heart beating away. Thats all i kept saying to my self as my ob was getting the ultra sound reading. Dont worry just look at the babys heart beat everything will be fine just see the heart beat. As soon as the image was up i was searching for it. I saw the head the little arms and legs but the baby was just lying there on its side. No heartbeat. SHe tried to moving around trying to see if she could get a better look but it was the same. She measured the baby and she said it only measured at 9 weeks. i kept thinking what did i do wrong. how did i not know my baby died nearly 3 weeks ago. how did i not know.- well the operation went fine. I rested at home for about 5 days. I though i was doing better. dealing ok moving foward. But today after work i just sat on my couch and started to cry uncontrollably. I feel like my world is crashing down again. My husband and i planned to try again once were we able but now.. i am terrified that what if it is me after all. what if this happens again. i cant do this again. deal with the heart ache and the pain and loss. i feel like i am a yoyo with my feeligs. how long will this last.

  - Krista

• January 25, 2012 3:13 p.m.

  I miscarried 7 days ago, although I think the baby left long before that. I saw the ultrasound my dr. did 12 days ago, and there was nothing there. It helped when I actually miscarried knowing that my body just had to get rid of the "stuff" while my baby was already in heaven. This article really hits the nail on the head with how I'm feeling. Thank you for writing this, it's a huge blessing.

  - Sarah

• January 20, 2012 5:18 p.m.

  I had my first miscarriage 9 months ago and had a really early loss in October. I think I am stuck in the Depression state of the grieving process. My husband is a hard working man, but sometimes I don't know if he understands the impact of the miscarriage on me. I got sick around the time I was supposed to be due, around Thanksgiving, thinking back I think it was my body's way of dealing with the loss. And of course, I was unfortunate enough that a close family friend was due at the same time and so many friends and co-workers who were pregnant around that time and carried them through. I didn't want to go public with it, but I feel like even those who know don't understand. My husband and I have been having a hard time dealing with things even between the two of us, because he feels that I should get over it and I feel that he doesn't understand me. He does not even believe that I've had a second miscarriage, because he does not believe that an elevated HCG (56) was not a pregnancy, because after I had that blood test, 2 days later I had my period according to him. So, sometimes I feel unsupported and alone. I'm suppose to do an obstacle course race tomorrow, but I did a 5K the week before I had the first miscarriage and although I do not even know I am pregnant yet, I am apprehensive about doing the race, because I don't want to take the risk. Am I going overboard? I don't know. But if I am pregnant I sure don't want to do anyting to put it at risk.

  - Lyn

• January 14, 2012 11:57 p.m.

  Just got home from the ER I found out I was pregnant today HCG levels are 734 it's pretty low doc says I can be 2-3 weeks or I could possibly be about to miscarry for the fourth time. I have some cramps which can be a sign of a miscarriage .. yet today i also started to throw up my breast are sore.. I am numb I want this baby more than anything in the world but something tells me that he or she may not stay with me I hope I am wrong and the God has truly blessed me this time... I am not strong enough to go through another pregnancy loss

  - Bianca

• January 14, 2012 9:43 p.m.

  I am in a fog. Last fall my husband and I started fertility treatment and had our 1st IUI in Sept 30. As soon as pg was confirmed, we miscarried. Our next change was on Dec 10. Right after Christmas they took blood and I found out my HCG level was 25, which is too low, and I was told I would probably miscarrying. They following week I had an ultrasound that confirmed my pregnancy was abnormal. My uterus lining was nice and think indicating pregnancy, but there was no pregnancy sack so MD could not rule out a tubal pregnancy. My HCG levels were 500+. Days later, after reviewing my file,MD called me and said that since I was not miscarrying on my own, that he would like me to have a D and C. My husband and I decided to go thru with the D and C this past Tuesday. That day my HCG levels were 1200+. Thursday I went back to get more blood taken. That afternoon I received a call that pathology had finished their report, and they found no conception material in my uterus, thus confirming that my precious baby was growing in my tube. That day my levels were 1400+. The next morning I was at the clinic again getting blood drawn for the many tests they needed to do before they provided me with a chemotherapy injection that would terminate the tubal pregnancy. It is so hard, this baby we wanted we cannot have, because it is in the wrong spot. I feel a sense of loss and loneliness. I am in a fog.

  - Kristi

• December 30, 2011 2:54 a.m.

  i felt like my whole world was crashing down around me like i had lost everything alll i did was sleep for like a week straight i barely ate. i just wanted to sleep. i was on medical leave from work for two weeks so i had lots of time to sleep. i had more blood work done on december 17 my numbers were down to 600 i was happy but still hurting inside, the pain was gone and when ever i was alone all i could do is blame myself for the chose i had to make. on demeber 26 i had blood work done again my numbers are 40, i keep being told DO NOT have sex, you shouldn't try again for 3 months. but i have this thing in my mind making me think that thats the only thing that will help me get over the loss of my baby. i hate myself on days i'm ok with it and on other days i'm not. i still cant help but blame myself i dont know what will happen when i return to work whether it will still be emotionally hard for me or not. my fiance was telling me about his coworkers wife that was going for her first ultrasound on jan 5th the same day i would of seen how big my baby was and hear the heart beat for the first time. when he told me this i began to cry and i couldn't stop i'm still heart broken to this day. everyone keeps saying you're 20 you'll get pregnant again dont worry. i really hope that this helps everyone understand that dont ever give up if you know something is wrong keep prosisting till you know something. i wish everyone the best of luck.

  - Lisa-Marie

• December 30, 2011 2:36 a.m.

  during the wait i just pondered and worried why am i being put threw this i knew i wouldn't be able to keep the baby. in every option i had i would lose the baby. and to know that it possibly had a heart beat killed me inside to know i had to make the choice on how to "get rid of it" the doctor came in and said that i had the choice of surgury or to have a drug called methotrexate. the risk with the drug was if the baby did have a heart beat it would not work, but the methotrexate had no adverse affects that would increase my chances of having another ectopic. if i were to under go surgury and they had to remove my tube or if they had to cut it open i would have a more of a chance of having an ectopic again and if i lost my tube i was worried i wouldn't be able to get pregnant again or i only had half a chance at getting pregnant again. im only 20 and i want kids i didn't want to reduces my chances. so i chose to take the methotrexate. and i was giving the methotrexate at 230am on december 7 i was told it would take a week to decrease my beta hcg levels. i have blood work done on the 10 of dec and it had gone down from 1451 to 1275, on december 13 it had gone down to 1000 than i was told to have blood work down every week till my levels were zero. so i continued. i was told that i was not allowed to be alone for 2 weeks. and i know why...... continued

  - Lisa-Marie

• December 30, 2011 2:24 a.m.

  so i hadn't eaten or drank anything since like 8am dec5 when i asked the doctor if i could have anything they said i couldnt not even a drink, they hooked me up to an iv in order to pump me full of fluids to help me keep hydrated. i didn't have my ultrasound until dec6 at 330 pm when she was doing the external ultrasound she didn't see anything but it was extremely painful when she was pushing on my left abdominal area. she decided it was a must for her to do a internal ultrasound. when she did it she began and i was crying inpain so she called me a nurse in order to give me a shot of morphine to help me with the pain. once the morphine kicked in a little it didn't help at all. she began to push very hard to find my tubes to find out what was going on and THANK GOD SHE FOUND IT! i was happy but upset, she said she saw what looked to be a heart beat. i had already started to grieve about losing my baby now they're saying it has a heart beat whats wrong with these people. i was mad a the ladies that never found it before. and mad at my doctor for not prosisting on it enough to find it. at 6pm on dec 6 i was admitted to the lois hole womens ward of the hospital. i than began waiting to find out whether i would be having surgury or not....... continued

  - Lisa-Marie

• December 30, 2011 2:13 a.m.

  when he got the results back from the second ultrasound he just said that he wasn't sure what was going on and to continue doing the blood tests and see if the numbers continued to go up. on december 5 i was called to do another ultrasound my beta hcgs had gone up 200 points.. all i could think is wtf is going on with me, i was bleeding extremely heavy and i began to feel a sharp stabbing pain on my left side in my lower abdominal pelvic area sometimes it would go away, again after i had spoke to him i was scheduled for an emergancy ultrasound both internal and external the internal hurt so bad do to everything being swollen. but once again they called him and told him there was nothing and maybe the pain would subside within a few days. he figure i was just constipated.so i went home. when i got home i layed in my bed and about 20 minutes later the pain on my lower abdominal area was so intense i couldnt walk. i began to gush blood i knew i had to go to the hospital. so i was waiting in the hospital from december 5 at 6 pm till 11pm when i was fianlly seen by a doctor. the doctor did a pelvic exam and said they'll send me for an ultrasound and do some more blood work but she figured it was ectopic. they gave me morphine to help with the pain but all it did was make me sleep and i was happy doing that as long as i didn't feel pain.....continued

  - Lisa-Marie

• December 30, 2011 2:00 a.m.

  continued.... all my doctor said to me is that my uterus was empty there was no sign of a baby even being there.i knew there was something wrong that morning when i work up because i felt like myself again. i was crushed although i had just found out my fiances mother had told everyone and his cousins had already started giving us baby stuff. i was horrified. how i could find out i was pregnant and have it taken away only like 1 week later. i felt horrible i work in a daycare so my mind was else where, i had a hard time concentrating on work. i had to do follow up beta hcg quantity levels to make sure they were going down. i did one that day, than followed 3 days later, than 3 days after that. on november 24 2011 he called my father cause he couldn't get ahold of me and told me it was extremely important to get another blood test done and than to call him the next day so i became worried. this was my first time ever being pregnant so i didnt know what to expect. the next day he called my dad back while i was at work and said it was important that i drink as much water as possible before lunch because he was booking me an emergancy ultrasound. to check my tubes and uterus again. once again they found nothing, and i began to bleed heavier. i started to freak they told me i miscarried now my doctor was saying something was up, that i still could be pregnant..... continued

  - Lisa-Marie

• December 30, 2011 1:45 a.m.

  it all started on nov 19 2011 well when i found out i was pregnant i wasn't feeling myself, i was having dizzy spells and i couldn't eat things i loved. i had been admitted to the hospital with extreme back pain. i was about 5 weeks. they said my beta hcg levels were low but thats just because its starting out. first thing i did was called my dad i was so happy all though it was caused by an antibiotic reducing the affectiveness of my birthcontrol i didn't care i love children and i've always wanted a baby. i began to spot a few days later and my doctor said it was normal i was told to call my gyne and they said its nothing its just implantation bleeding, if it turns bright red than you need to worry, so the next morning i work up and it the spotting was kinda bright red but not really, it would change between bright red and a dark brown color. i wasn't sure what to do so i left work and went straight to the doctors. when i got there the doctor was concerned so he sent me for an ultrasound. all the ultrasound tech could say to me "was arg why does he send you down here you cant see anything anyways. this is just a waste of time" but i knew after spending the last two days doing research trying to figure out if i was misscarring or whether they could see something on an ultrasound or not. i new they should atleast see a sack. so she did an internal and external ultrasound. she than ran off the the radiologist and came back and said i must go back up and see my docto

  - Lisa-Marie

• December 27, 2011 7:53 p.m.

  I feel a bit foolish writing this, because I had a miscarriage so long ago. I was 19 in 1982 and so very much in love with the boy who was the father. I was about 9 weeks pregnant. And this pregnancy has haunted me all these years. I am very lucky that I married and have two beautiful girls, but no one has ever understood the sadness that I felt with that first pregnancy. You don't realize that it will be forever part of your physical record whenever you have an exam, and yet there is no real record of it. It changed my life, even if there was no baby at the end of it. I still recognize the day of the miscarriage, and the due date of the baby. I wish there was some way to honor that life and not have it forever hidden away.

  - margaret

• December 14, 2011 1:35 a.m.

  I never ever thought I would be posting a comment on a page for miscarriages. My husband and I have two boys,10 and 8. We just bought a car that comfortably seats 4 and celebrated my husband's 46th bday. I recently turned 39. We have plans to visit Australia and to finally make a trip to disney. Earlier in the month my doc found a lump in my breast so I had my first mammogram, everything was fine. Then a weird period that started and stopped and started again over Thanksgiving weekend. On 12/2 my doc confirmed I was about 5 weeks pregnant! We were shocked, excited and scared all at once. That same afternoon, I started spotting again so I was sent to the ER for tests and the RH- shot. On 12/4 my HCG had doubled, so I was getting hopeful that things would be ok. On 12/6 the HCG had decreased in half and the doc confirmed I was miscarrying. We are left with emotional whiplash. First I was worried I had breast cancer, then I was pregnant, now I'm not. It has been surreal. I am numb. Confused. Relieved. Broken open. So sad.

  - Laura

• December 12, 2011 8:35 p.m.

  Dec,13,2011 I should be going for my first OBs app.but here I am 3am on ths day feelin hollow &despondent,I feel not only did they empty my womb but a whole lot of me.I'm even ashamed like I have sinned or something,after missing two cycles in October n November my Gp finally did some urine test and it was positive and I was over the moon since my first born is turning 10yrs of age soon and needs a sibling as bad as I do another child!it was one week of joy,it was on a monday when I found out and I was booked for my first appointment the following week but it all eveporated before all that since the day before that first appointment which was yesterday Dec 12,2011,was when the Dr coldly told me the baby has stopped growing so it must be evacuated and his next question was if I understood and had any questions?I sad ther and felt so useless in a room full of all recovering pregnant women and wondered if they see that I'm incapable or that I've failed!I asked for another after another HCG with the results getting lower each time and with the Specialist ther to show them off as to prove that he is mightily write about the evacuation as a "novice" about how rare it is to recover after he has confirmed or said in his mighty voice"the baby has stopped growing" voice!I'm still confused and feel like I'm havin a nightmare of some horrific nature. It had happened with my first child where I bled but he survived so I just assumed this time it'll be the same!I fe

  - mosa

• December 11, 2011 3:13 p.m.

  Lucy,thank you for your words.It is terrible when your waiting on test results... It almost feels like your gonna go crazy or others think your crazy. I talked to my husband the day after I posted this. We took a HPT and it was positive still we are happy but we're not getting to excited about it just yet.We want to be sure that all will be fine before letting anyone know.Now I just wait. I have not set up a visit to my OB yet but I will after the New Year. Lucy if you don't mind my asking what was it that happened to you?

  - Juliet

• December 8, 2011 7:11 p.m.

  Juliet im currently waiting. For the results to my beta test so I feel your pain and anxiety I suggest you talk to your husband keeping things to yourself will only make the pain worst and create a space between the both of you and if you are pregnant hurt your baby I understand.it can be painfully to get your hopes up but its better to be prepared for what's going on than to ignore it. God bless you I hope everything gets better in time

  - lucy

• December 7, 2011 5:15 p.m.

  I am in distress I have no one to turn to.So I hope someone out tere reads this and can help me. A 3 months ago I had what they call a chemical pregnancy.I knew that could happen until it happened to me. I had found out i was pregnant very early of course me and my ew hubby had been trying for about 6 mo's. I was very excieted and so was he. After my first doctors vist which was only to confirm HPT and draw labs. I started to cramp I figured it was normal I have two previous children and kind of knew what to expect.Only as the days went by I felt wose and my worry grew light spotting started.I contacted my doctor said it was normal but if I started spotting darker and I was in more pain to go to the ER. A few more days went by I was still spotting light but as I was getting out of work I felt the need to go use the bathroom when I saw the color had changed.I went to the nearest hospital where the did an exam found tissue but when they sent me for an ultra sound the Doctor incharge ordered it be stoped according to him my beta level was at a 5 I was never pregnant and the only thing wrong with me was my blood preasure. I explained the fact that I had 3 positive HPT's and that my doctor confirmed and that I was on prenatal pills yet he looked at me sarcasticlly and said no you are were never pregnant. I felt humillated an for days was in aww. I thought did I dream it? was I that asphyxiated on having a baby that in my mind I created this thought therefore even the test ...

  - Juliet

• December 7, 2011 5:14 p.m.

  cont... could be fooled. Was I totally crazy and what about the people we told how could I face my family and friends and explain this? I went back to my GYN he was upset for one the facility I wet to for two the fact I should of called him first.He told me when he had done my beta count test its was at 15. Therfore I was infact pregnant but it probablly was not developing properly so the numbers had already started to do drop because for 5 weeks the numbers should of been higher.I finnally decided maybe baby planning should be put off for a while plus my doctor suggested I wait 6 mo's before trying. I am not a candidate for B?C so we had use spermicide and pull out method. I bleed for 2 weeks after the hospital visit and then I went about a 4 weeks before getting a period.my next period which should have been last week is yet to show.My breast are swollen and very painfull, I ave been cramping for about 5 days nows. Im on edge and can't sleep well. Very emotional and scared.I don't want to test because Id rather not know.I can't tell anyone because what if it happens again?My husband and I are arguing because he feels Im pushing him away and the truth is I can't right now and if I tell him whats going on I'm scared if something goes wrong I will break his heart.I'm in anguish as the days pass by I say my period will come it's just backed up but another part of me says this is it find out so you can take proper care of yourself.please help me figure this out

  - Juliet