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• March 28, 2011 5:49 p.m.

  I became pregnant with our first child in June of 2009. I had a miscarriage in August of 2009 and found out our baby had died at 8 weeks. My husband and I found out I was pregnant in September 2010 and when I went in for my monthly appointment the doctor could not find a heartbeat. I was supposed to be 20 weeks and he said she died at 17 weeks. I delivered her on 2/08/11. I feel so empty, lost and so very heartbroken. I have had waves of anger, guilt (blaming myself), extreme sadness and I hope one day this pain will lessen. I am so grateful for our daughter, Colbie, for giving me the gift of experiencing childbirth. I often wake up and think it was a terrible nightmare and that I am still pregnant with her. We miss her terribly. I know I will never be the same again. I am trying to live a more compassionate, loving and grateful life in honor of Colbie. I have always been religious but was never a church goer. I have begun attending church and find peace there. There have been no concerns found with the tests the doctor has ran, which is good, but still no answer as to what happened to Colbie. My husband, family and friends have been wonderful, but I often find myself isolating from others. My heart has never known so much pain. I am turning 39 this summer and pray everyday that God will bless us with our third child who will be healthy, strong and full-term. My blessings to all of you who have suffered the loss of a child. The pain is unspeakable.

  - Sonya

• March 13, 2011 1:55 p.m.

  I am going to go through my 2nd micarriage shortly. I was told on Ash Wednesday that the baby did not have a heartbeat. During the first miscarriage, I thought - there is a reason for this and accepted it. This time I am so heartbroken and lost I don't know what to do. I am over 40 and have not had an easy time getting pregnant due to irregular periods. I am frustrated knowing there are women out there that just through babies away and good people are having miscarraiges or problems getting pregnant. I feel so lost. :(

  - Dawn

• March 11, 2011 4:16 p.m.

  It was good for me to read all of your comments. It brought me comfort to know that others have gone through exactly what I've gone through and understand. I just went through my first pregnancy and my first miscarriage just 3 days ago. It was so heartbreaking, I can't even describe it. My husband and I had just found that I'm 8 weeks pregant last week and we were ecstatic. And then Tuesday, I started to spot, and then bleed... When I went to the doc's, he looked on the ultrasound and said that I should be 8 weeks pregnant but the baby is only 6 weeks old with no heartbeat. I just burst into tears right there. As soon as I came back from the doc's I passed what looks like a sac. It was the size of a grape and it was filled with fluid. Heart-wrenching. Three days later, I continue to bleed and pass clots and tissue. The odd thing is that I don't have any pain at all, no cramping, no nothing. The doc wanted me to get a DNC but I'm hoping that nature will just take care of everything - the DNC seems so invasive. I don't know how many days I'm supposed to keep bleeding. I am currently waiting for my doc to call so that I can ask him my million questions... Thanks for writing your comments and let's all hang in there.

  - Laila

• January 14, 2011 1:19 p.m.

  Always remember, anything worth having, is worth working HARD for. Keep your heads up & always think positive because positive thinking results in a positive outcome. Prepare yourself for the worst, but always hope for the best!

  - Catherine - Continued

• January 14, 2011 1:16 p.m.

  A couple days after Thanksgiving I was celebrating my Husband's birthday. I started getting excruciating pain in my lower abdomen area. Although I did not want to ruin my husband's bday, he insisted we go to the hospital. I was admitted into the hospital after 8 hours in the ER. Doctors told me my baby was fine after listening to the heartbeat on a doppler & performing an Ultrasound. I even received a sonogram picture of the baby. However, the doctor said I had a bad infection in my uterus. The next day I started experiencing the worst pains ever and then I quickly felt a rush from my stomach to my lower abdomen. I stood up & my water broke. I started to go into labor. Less than a minute after my water breaking, my baby's head pushed out. I then laid down and gave birth to my baby and the placenta. I made 16 weeks that day. It was a boy. My son's lungs were not fully developed yet so he died as soon as they cut him off the umbilical cord. I am a newly wed and im 21 years old. This would have been my 1st child. My Son took my infection from me & then rejected from my body. If he hadnt done so, we both would have died on November 29th. It truly is a heartbreaking experience but I live my life off the saying "everything happens for a reason" & I believe my God has something good in store for me. My husband && I are currently trying again. Wish me luck as I wish you all the best of luck & you are all in my prayers. Always remember anything wo

  - Catherine

• November 18, 2010 10:48 a.m.

  Thank you everyone for your stories. It helps to read what others have to say about getting through this. My husband and I had our first ultrasound yesterday at 9 weeks and found out the baby was measuring at 7 weeks with no heartbeat. I am scheduled for a d&c tomorrow. So heartbroken! We are firm believers in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ and we know that He will carry us through this. His promises are the only thing that we are clinging to right now. He says in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Holding on to those words right now. Sad times now but praying for joyous times in the near future!

  - Emily

• October 2, 2010 10:08 p.m.

  My husband and I were ecstatic to find out we were pregnant after trying for 2 years. I told everyone even before I had an ultrasound. We had already started to pick out baby names. I would get really excited when I saw baby clothes and toys. Two days before my appointment with my ob/gyn, I was at work and began feeling discomfort in my lower back. i went to the restroom and saw I was bleeding. My husband came for me and rushed me to the ER. We had to wait 3 hours before a doctor was able to see me. I finally had 2 doctors tell me I was 7 weeks along but they couldn't find a heartbeat. It was devastating to hear. I still went to my doctors appointment 2 days after that and my ob/gyn assured me tha I was not at fault. She was very supportive. We do plan on trying again. This has only made us stronger to move on with our lives. Good luck to all and stay positive.

  - Stephanie

• June 15, 2010 9:46 a.m.

  hi all i ma 7 weeks pregnant juts did my first ultrasound and doc said she can not see 7 weeks baby but could see 5 weeks baby..told me that i might be having early misscarriage..asked me to do blood test every 24 hrs to see my HCG levels.. she also said there is really nothing that we can do at this point...but wait and pray..and its driving me crazy....my friend said to me at least u are luckey...its just 7 weeks..(but still its my baby)i have one 5 year old son....and the day i found out that i was pregnant..i started thinking about how my son will play with new baby...i amm trying to comfort myself that this is what god planned for me..not helping...

  - sonu

• February 25, 2010 8:41 a.m.

  We have been trying for a baby for over a year. I have had 4 miscarriages and an etopic pregnancy. The 1st, 2nd, and 4th miscarriage all occurred about the 5-7 week mark. The 3rd miscarriage I had a d/c and was told there was no baby, just tissue. My body continued to develop a pregnancy without a baby. I found out after the 4th miscarriage, after doing my own research and asking for blood tests, that I had antiphosolipid syndrome (aps). This causes clotting during pregnancy that prevents the pregnancy from developing properly. My ob put me on baby aspirin, and instructions to go in as soon as I thought I was pregnant for daily blood thinners to treat the aps. After finding out I was pregnant, I began daily self injections of blood thinners. I was on day 15 of shots when I suffered an etopic pregnancy. My fallopian tube ruptured, and I had to have emergency surgery to remove it. Due to the blood thinner and baby aspirin, I bled heavily and have had a number of issues. At this point, I am not going to try any more. It has been a long road with nothing to show for it. I am emotionally drained and financially exhausted. I want to get pregnant again, but am too afraid. I have grieved each pregnancy knowing I was going to try again. However, this time I know I can't try again. I have a very supportive family. However, my family says to stop. My husband says enough. I feel guilty for putting everone through this. I had bought baby items & maternity clothes. I will donate them

  - Melanie

• January 7, 2010 2:16 p.m.

  So I was at work checking this sight out and I'm just amazed at all of the stories that are so similar to my situation...very comforting to know I'm not alone in this. I got pregnant last January after trying for two years, what a great feeling! We told EVERYBODY! My dr never came out and told me I wouldn't be able to get pregnant but he wasn't super hopeful either. I have had endometriosis surgery twice and frequently have cysts burst on my ovaries. Well, I started bleeding and found our later I was having a miscarriage. We had to tell everybody about what had happened, the most devastating thing I've been through. Got pregnant again last August (right around my 30th bday) and then in September I miscarried. We told our parents and that is it so in that aspect it was easier. We're trying again, please keep us in your prayers, we need it for sure! I know these things happen for a reason but why is it that some women don't even want children and have them? How is that fair? Ok, this has helped...thank you for listening and good luck to you all!!!

  - Amy

• November 14, 2009 7:21 p.m.

  I found out I was pregnant and at first I didn't want it. Then the idea grew on me and I started planning, my boyfriend was moving from another city to support me. I started to bleed at 8 weeks, then the cramping started. I knew it was over when I was in the hospital bathroom passing clots and having sharp pains. It felt so unceremonious to flush my baby down the toilet. After tests and ultrasounds it was confirmed that it was all over and I bled for 2 weeks. My baby was gone. What I thought I didn't want had turned into hopes, dreams and happiness and that was now gone too. It will be my baby's due date in a few days and I find myself overcome with grief. I cry at the drop of a hat, finding no more joy in life. It seems that everyone around me is pregnant, from co workers to best friends to family members and I don't want to have anything to do with it. I am jealous of all their happiness. I feel so empty and alone and I miss my baby so. My husband and I are going to buy some baby things, put them in a box, name our lost baby and bury it in a special place to let go. Thank you to everyone who wrote here, it has helped me immensely and helped me feel like I was not so alone.

  - Tia

• November 14, 2009 12:43 a.m.

  Hi, I found out yesterday that my 8 week year old "baby" has only grown to 6 weeks and 1 day. There were no signs of any development - no heartbeat. My gynae has given me a week to see if anything will happen between now and then. I am so sad and feel empty. I am hopeful that things might turn around, but at the same time trying to manage my expectation. REading all your stories has helped to understand that this is a common occurance. Does anyone know what the cause of this is, that the baby would just stop growing? I have an extremely supportive husband, which must say is making a huge difference.

  - Li

• October 16, 2009 7:00 p.m.

  Hello, I have been having a natural miscarriage for five months now. In hopes of finding someone who's had a similar experience I am posting here...My doctor believes, due to the rate at which my HCG levels are decreasing, that it should end in another 2.5 months. If this is correct, the total length of my miscarriage will be 7.5 months! The majority of the uterine contents passed all at once at 2.5 months into the pregnancy. However at this time there is still an extremely small (like a few drops) of fluid leaking into a mini-pad every day. The uterine wall is still thickened as shown in an ultrasound. I am in good health, good iron levels, no cramping, fever, no infection, and my doctor is not insisting I have surgery. However, emotionally, I am very frustrated and I feel like a "freak." After extensive time searching the internet I have found no one with an experience like mine. To compound matters, I just turned 40 and am a Clomid patient so time is of the essence for attempting my next pregnancy. In keeping with a natural miscarriage I hoped to avoid the risks associated with surgery/drugs, so I hope to have it all resolve naturally. Does anyone have any knowledge of anyone else with a similar experience? Thank you for taking the time to read this.

  - Erika

• September 17, 2009 12:40 a.m.

  I sit here in tears reading all of your experiences & feeling your pain & sorrow, as I too, have recently experienced the heartbreak of a miscarriage. I have experienced the worst nightmare of my life over the past 10 wks. At my 9 wk OB visit & US, we discovered the baby had stopped developing and there was no heartbeat. After waiting 2 wks to miscarry naturally, it never happened so I had a D&C. For 4 wks I continued to have cramping, bleeding & clotting but my Dr. made me feel that it was "my" fault for not taking it easy, although that was not the case. For anyone out there who might be experiencing these symptoms 2 or more wks after a miscarriage, please know that it is NOT normal and seek medical attention! At 4 wks post-op I had hcg level drawn that was too high & US that showed something was still in the uterus. Dr. said to have hcg drawn in 1 week. But a few days later I began to hemorrhage at home, alone with my 21 mth old son. It was a very scary experience & within 2 hrs I had lost a significant amt of blood & had an emergency D&C for retained products of conception. Then I suffered the affects of anemia for several weeks. As if the emotional & physical pain of losing my baby wasn't bad enough, I had to have 2 surgeries, hemorrhaged and nearly lost my life. No one should have to go through this! God willing, we'll try again in a few mths. I am blessed to have a supportive husband & little boy who brings me so

  - Denise

• August 22, 2009 3:45 a.m.

  I had a misscariage at 9 weeks this last spring. The health care provider that I had only saw me once and that was to give me pills to insert so I would pass the baby because I was like you Pammie I could not have my baby cut out of me. I bleed for 12 weeks on and off after that. All my provider wanted me to do was to come in to to the lab every week for an HCG to see what my level was. After 13 weeks my level still had not come down to normal, they did another ultrasound, and they said everything was out but yet I was still passing large clots the size of quarters. After that 13th week they wanted me to go see a specialist they made the appointment for 3 days before my wedding. I never went to the apt, and I never went back for another lab. I have had one normal cycle since. My health care provider still has not wanted to see me. I feel thrown to the wolves that she wouldn't even want to see how I was doing emotional because th only thing that kept me getting out of bed each dad was my husband.

  - Jessica

• June 30, 2009 7:01 p.m.

  I recently had a silent miscarriage. Don't know when as there were no symptoms. We only found out last Monday at our first visit to the Obstetrician and his "routine" scan showed a smaller than expected embryo and no heartbeat. I was to have been 10 weeks and it was our first baby. I had to have a battery of tests and scans done but it was confirmed. It's a very surreal experience. My husband and I have both had moments of high emotion, but mostly we're managing OK. On some level, I think I'm a bit more resolute about it than he is, but I expect this will change. See, I'm still carrying the embryo and hopefully it will pass from me in the next few weeks. Otherwise, I will have to go and have a D&C and I find the idea of a "scrape and suck" of MY BABY unacceptable. To "anon", my deepest empathy to you. It sounds like you weren't very well looked after by your health care providers at all. I hope you make a full recovery soon and that your next is a success. To all the other women who've had one or more miscarriages - my condolences. It's great that there's a forum like this where people can share their loss, though I encourage people to talk about it. It's not shameful and we're not to blame and there's a lot more women out there with a similar story than we realise. Best wishes to all who are trying....

  - Pammie

• June 30, 2009 10:03 a.m.

  i experienced my 2nd miscarriage on friday (26th june 09). I was almost 12 weeks. They didn't tell me why it happened just gave a d and c. I am still bleeding and have a tender stomach and taking pain killers. I just feel like such a failure.I'm only 25 why is this happening. My first one was 2 years ago and i was so heartbroken. Now i am trying to be strong and support my boyfriend who seems to be taking it much harder than last time, i hate to see him like this. What next steps should i take? We both want to try as soon as i heal and after 1 cycle. We can't afford tests so will both take vitamins and i heard baby aspirin might help. Thanks for reading. I will check back in case anyone has replied. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES LADIES XX

  - anon

• May 13, 2009 9:53 a.m.

  On April 2nd I learned I was expecting but sadly lost my angel on April 20th. I have a beautiful 12 year old daughter and thank God for her everyday, even more now. But I will always miss and love my little angel and am devasted inside. My heart goes out to all of you who have endured a loss.

  - Crystal

• April 25, 2009 7:28 p.m.

  Since my recent miscarriage I've been searching for answers. I want to know as much as possible about my body before trying again. For anyone trying to conceive I would recommend this book: Dr. Robert Greene's Perfect Hormone Balance for Fertility: The Ultimate Guide to Getting Pregnant While a lot of the book deals with infertility issues for women who can't get pregnant, there is a lot of information about your body and what is required to conceive a healthy baby. I learned a lot about reducing your exposure to environmental toxins (even found in deodorant, hairspray, nail polish, and unsafe water bottles). I'm doing everything I can to have zero risk factors the next time we try. Good luck and happy reading!

  - No name given

• April 15, 2009 7:39 p.m.

  It is hard to read all of these stories with so much pain and aching for our lost babies. I am 34 years old and have had three miscarriages at 3, 9, and 18 weeks. Like most of you, the tests all came back normal and I'm told there is nothing that can be done. I get frustrated by the lack of interest the doctors show for women with recurrent miscarriages. It seems that if you can't get pregnant they have all sorts of options but for those who miscarry they just shrug their shoulders. I empathize with all of you out there who have had to go through this terrible ordeal. I will continue to try to have that beautiful baby I have always dreamed of and I wish all of you the best of luck in your next pregnancy!

  - Rachel

• April 9, 2009 3:57 p.m.

  Thank you to all of you who have shared your stories. Even though I have just recovered from my third MC (three strikes, no runs), I still feel very alone. I had no idea that so many women have had this same sorrow. With my last MC, I searched the bookstore for something to read on the subject. I wanted answers and comfort. I wanted to know how other women felt about this loss, but I couldn't find anything. It means a lot to me to read your stories. I see how each loss is precious and unique. Somehow I feel like this is a secret sorrow and cannot share it with my best friend or even my dear father. They only know about my first MC. I was so hoping for happy results this time and my husband and I were bursting to share the good news, but decided, because of the past disappointments, to wait until after the second ultrasound. And then there was no heartbeat. I agree with the women who find it hard to see other women pregnant--especially friends--and I loathe it that spring is here. I don't feel bursting with life and hope. I don't want to see little bunnies and chicks and babies in pink and yellow. I wish it was winter and that I could hibernate for a month. In memory of 8.6, 9.3 and 9.2.

  - Lisa

• April 7, 2009 9:00 p.m.

  I never knew my heart could hurt this much. Last week I was 11 weeks and 5 days pregnant when I started to bleed. The doctor didn't seem worried but had me come in for an ultrasound anyways. They told me there wasn't a heartbeat. I had the D&C scheduled for the next day, but I miscarried the baby that night at home. I never knew that I would go into labor with a miscarriage - while I know real labor must hurt more, I had vomitting and labor pains for 8 long hours. I had the D&C the next day to make sure everything was gone and protect from infection. I feel empty inside. I want to name my baby - I feel so bad that it doesn't have a name, but I don't even know if it was a boy or girl. I am scared to try again but I ache to know whether or not we can have children. I have been married to the perfect man for 6-1/2 years and I want to have children with him so badly. We are planning to try again in 4 or 5 months after my body has a chance to rest. Everyone offers such encouraging stories that they had a healthy pregnancy right after a miscarriage, but I can't help but wonder if I will be so lucky. If I can't have children I will start the adoption process. I am determined to be a mother, and offering a good life to a less fortunate child will also be rewarding. Thanks for listening and I pray for you all.

  - No name given

• March 13, 2009 12:17 a.m.

  I took an EPT in early February, and my husband & I were so excited about our 2nd baby! But on March 1st, I started spotting. The OB confirmed it March 2nd... the baby was lost. I went for the follow-up visit this past Monday (a week later), and waited nearly an hour as every pregnant woman in the county, it seemed, came & went. I finally walked out without seeing the OB. I've tried to rationalize that at least it was still early- only 8 weeks, and that we already have an absolutely beautiful little girl. But I'm really at a loss here. I'm a person who HATES to cry, but I can cry at the drop of a hat right now. And my normally sensitive husband has been incredibly insensitive this last week and a half. He was available, but didn't go with me to the OB appointment when the MC was confirmed. I wanted him, but instead the OB held my hand as I cried. My husband also made a comment about how I forget to take my vitamins and I don't stay hydrated enough, and that was probably the issue. He rarely goes to the doctors, but he had 2 visits this week, and expected to babied afterward. And all I could think of was the fact that he wasn't there when I REALLY needed him. I hope this sadness and resentment passes soon. Thank you for "listening" and for sharing. I hate that this happened to any of us, but it's nice to know I'm not alone.

  - JESSICA

• March 9, 2009 1:21 p.m.

  Hi, I had a D & E almost 2 weeks ago. My husband and I were expecting our 2nd, I was 12 weeks when at my screening it was told to me that the fetus had no heartbeat and had not grown past 10 weeks. I had no symptoms other than one day I had one tiny drop of blood, that is it. It was a "missed miscarriage" I am 33 had been seeing a specialist due to a low progestrone level, it took us a year to conceive our first, and the hearbeat was confirmed a 6 weeks,and 7 and then at the 10 week OB appointment. I was told that at that point I had less than 2% chance of miscarriage but for some reason I did not believe it. The pregnancy was completely different than my first, I had almost no symptoms but I was so excited to have a sibling for our almost 2 year old. I feel broken, I went to a baby shower 2 days ago and it seems that now that spring has hit everyone in the area is pregnant now that jackets are off, even at work. I thought I should be feeling better but it is becoming all consuming because I found out about all these pregnancies around me at once and have another shower to go to. I am completely in love with my first and she is perfect but I cannot help but feel devasted. One minute I want to try again and want answers the next I am scared to try again..it hurts so much, what if I keep going through this? Why can't I get testing to the fetus to see what happened, they just won't do it unless it has been three. Thanks to all of you for sharing...

  - April

• March 5, 2009 12:03 p.m.

  On Febuary 19th, I found out that at 10weeks I had lost my baby at a regular prenatal visit. I thought all was well until ultrasound tech confirmed that there was no heart rate, not even a baby. I was told it was a blighted ovum. This baby would have been our third child. I work in Labor and Delivery and after returning to work two weeks after my D&C I have found it very hard. Not to mention one of my coworker is pregnany and due 4 weeks after my due date. My husband best friend also had his first baby on the day of my surgery. I am torn about trying again. I am so sorry to all of you who suffered a lose. It is so hard to talk about it with someone who has never lost a baby. Thanks for listening.

  - Debby