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• March 4, 2009 10:23 a.m.

  On June 18, 2008, after 9 years of marriage and several years of wanting children, we finally found out we were having a baby. I have a hypothyroid, which I have heard makes it harder to get pregnant. We were so excited. Then, the next week, we lost the baby. In August, my brother in law got married and they got pregnant on their honeymoon. My original due date was Feb 21, 2009. Our nephew was born 3 months premature in Feb. I have had such conflicting emotions that I feel that I am the most thoughtless, selfish person that ever lived. I am happy for my brother in law and wife, worried for the baby boy weighing less than 2 pounds, and then the next minute wondering if anyone thought of the fact that it was my due date too. I feel awful. And, I have so many other friends who have become pregnant during this time as well. It is so hard. Our 10th anniversary is coming up and I just turned 35 on Feb 18th and can't help but wonder if I'll ever have a chance to have a child. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only that has ever gone through this and will be praying for everyone of you. Thanks for the place to vent and learn that my feelings are normal.

  - Trusting God

• March 2, 2009 7:50 a.m.

  Last thursday I would have been 12 weeks pregnant - the end of the first trimester. All was going well (so I thought) until last Sunday week when I started spotting and had brownish vaginal discharge. I went on Monday morning to the A&E of my local maternity hospital. I was scanned and told that I did not have an 11week pregnancy, more like a 5 week one. The obstetrician was extremely rude and uncompassionate - I was devastated and left the hospital with not much more information than I arrived with. My own GP explained everything to be clearly and gave a loving shoulder to cry on. I revisited the hospital today, after rescanning, there's little or no trace left of my pregnancy. I feel empty and numb. Taking some time off work is helping me get my head around things a bit. Suppose time will be a big healer! The only consolation I have is that I have a healthy 2.5 year old, whose pregnacy was textbook. That keeps me going. Good to know I'm not alone with this issue - best of luck to everyone with future pregnancies.

  - No name given

• February 26, 2009 9:50 p.m.

  i went for a normal 12week scan only to findout my baby was dead and died at 8 weeks and 3 days, everyone think's because i have 6 kids it will get better, well it wont nor will i ever forget, this baby i wasnt ment to have as i was told time and time again, as i had overian syst's, fibroid tuma's, but when i found out i was pregnant i thought bub's was a miricle, only to have my miricle taken from me, i had lost my great fun loving mother inlaw only 2 years earlier so i thought it was a sighn,it feels like the biggest kick in the gutt's you'll never ever recover from, people say you have kids or you can have another one this and that but it will never be my lost angel, who i wanted more then my life it's self,right now i feel like there is no god because if there was he wouldnt do this to people like me and he wouldnt hurt/take the life of a innocent baby, how could he do this, you dont feel like living, so right now im only taking it day by day as that is all i can do, i cant make promises or look ahead but one thing is for sure my heart will never heal or stop hurting as my baby should never have been taken from me!! http://sandrahenderson31.blogspot.com/2009/02/ill-never-understand-why-my-angel-has.html

  - sandy....

• February 26, 2009 6:21 p.m.

  It's been a couple weeks since I had my 2nd miscarriage. The first happened very early-I only knew I was pregnant for a few days before I lost it. I was sad but hopeful for next time, and just thought I should trust God and know it wasn't meant to be. When I had my second miscarriage 2 weeks ago, I had been 11 weeks along and everything had been feeling fine. I started spotting and the dr. told me to come in but didn't seem concerned about it. I had an ultrasound and it revealed an empty sac. As soon as I saw the ultrasound tech's face as he was searching for it, I knew. I felt so deceived, like I had been going along all this time and there was really no embryo anymore. I was devastated. I've never wanted anything more than to be a mother. My husband and I had told our families, so the worst part was having to tell everybody the news. Not only do I feel like I let my husband down, but everybody else as well. The dr. tells me there is no need to do any tests and I am young (28) and have "plenty of time." It doesn't feel that way to me. I'm trying not to worry but it's difficult. I'm trying to keep positive thoughts of others who've had miscarriages and then had children. Thanks for listening and for sharing your stories. It helps to know I'm not alone.

  - No name given

• February 24, 2009 1:30 p.m.

  The past few days have been a roller coaster ride of emotions. I took a home preg test on Wed 2/18 that was +, then took a blood test Thurs 2/19. They wanted to test me again tomorrow 2/25 because the numbers weren't what they needed to be. Despite this, I knew I was pregnant and started planning for this baby. I had some spotting but figured this was normal since it was early in the pregnancy. Sat 2/21 I started bleeding and Sun 2/22 I was passing clots. This was the hardest time for me because I knew that I was losing my child. I had this confirmed at the ER yesterday morn. This is just so hard on my husband and I because we were ready to start our family together even though we have a child each from previous marriages. I am just trying to rest and become mentally stronger so that we can try again. I just wanted to vent here with others who have lost a child to help me get over this depression. God is good and I have faith that we will be blessed in time. Thanks for "listening".

  - Lost

• February 22, 2009 2:49 a.m.

  February 28th my babies would a year. I have 2 sisters that got pregnant right after my miscarriage, and now I am going to be the boss of my ex-boyfriend who is expecting his baby soon. It hurts so much because he was going to be the father of my twins. Not a day goes by that I don't think of them. Reading these articles helped me for my upcoming date. Hopefully this will give me the courage and strength to try again with my boyfriend now who has been there for me.

  - No name given

• February 20, 2009 5:49 p.m.

  This would have been my 4th grandchild.. My daughter lost one last year and now found out today that she has what is called a molar pregnancy. She will have to under go a D&C next week. There are all they why me? I have no answers for her. She has a 13 year old daughter from a previous marriage. I just wish I could give her the answers to they WHYS. GOd bless all of you on this site. I was just checking out the Molar Pregnancy and found this site. Thank You and God Bless

  - Nana

• February 18, 2009 10:47 a.m.

  Today I lost my third child. At this point I am not sure how to feel. Of course I am sad. As with every pregnancy I had a life planned for this child. I had a nursery picked out. I had started to consider changes to finances, vehicles, and employment. Now none of that really matters. I had dreamed of holding that child in my arms for the first time, sharing her first birthday with our family. I suppose that after two miscarriages I should have proceeded cautiously into pregnancy. Perhaps I should have withheld emotionally. I am not sure. I am sure that there will be further medical investigation into why this keeps happening. I am hopeful that they will find an answer. Perhaps we will find some comfort in the answer. Now we just have to deside wether or not to try again. I have adhesions, cysts, and fibroids. I have had several procedures. I am just not too sure if it is time to call 'er quits. Do I give up on my dream of having a family or do I proceed with more testing and risk more heartache?

  - Cinderella

• February 3, 2009 7:15 p.m.

  I had 2 early preganancy losses when we were married for 3 yrs. I had just tested positive and several days later started bleeding. We listened to advice from family and decided not to "try" anymore. We had 3 "surprise" children in the next 4 years. ( I turned up pregnant that next month after the two early pregnancy losses) That first pregnancy I had bleeding and cramping and preterm labor for which I was put in hospital and then at home on rest until she came at term healthy and well in the end. The next two I had cramping and such but kept the pregnancies. Over the following four more years I had two more planned pregnancies with only the cramping throughout the pregnancy. I was 38 with the last baby. In February 2005 I miscarried at 12 weeks, the heart had stopped beating. I was so devastated even though I had 5 healthy children. It did not change the pain of losing a child. I had to fight hard to try to avoid going into depression. I had a some post-partum depression with last 2 babies. After I had a D & C for hemorrhaging at home, I rested for a week and then I tried to look for ways to reach out to others. I did this because our own pain is eased when we can do something for another even in our pain. It was very hard and I did not feel like it at all. I sent cards to others on prayer list. I have now lost another in March 2006 at 10 weeks and right now am 7 weeks and noticed 5 days ago sx were less. I am 45, was surprise.Expect ba

  - Disappointed but God is sovereign and in control

• January 31, 2009 6:46 a.m.

  I had conceived for the first time in my 8 yrs marriage. I was so happy and dreamt so many things that I'll do this and that for my baby. But on Sunday(25th Jan) I saw some brown spot.. went directly to my doc and she said I was misscarrying.. Still i had some hope and I took complete bed rest but on Wednusday, the fresh and heavy bleeding started and doc suggested to have D&C. I lost her yesterday. All my hopes are lost with the loss of my baby.. i feel so guilty that may be i did something wrong.. and am feeling like hell.. i was searching for what might have gone wrong and found this link.. now i feel i'm not alone and we all are going through the same pain.

  - Neelu

• January 14, 2009 11:06 a.m.

  I just found out yesterday that yet again I am misscarrying.This is my 4th misscarriage in the last 10 years without a live birth. I am so frustrated and depressed what do I do now? I have had so many tests that all come back normal. My heart is broken. I yearn for a baby in my arms. I feel like I am broken.

  - LT

• January 11, 2009 5:52 a.m.

  H EVERYBODY GOD BLESS YOU ALL.I have had 3 MC in just over 1 year I am turning 42 this year 2009 and hoping for a healthy pregnancy this year.

  - SHARLENE

• January 8, 2009 11:55 a.m.

  I am wondering...does anyone have any insight to the potential risks if we become pregnant before having a "regular cycle"? I have done the "expectant managment method". I am wondering if my levels are back to normal, do I need to wait? Thank you!

  - Dana

• December 22, 2008 9:53 a.m.

  It has been only five days, my water broke on Thursday and I lost my baby on Friday. I have uterine fibroids and the doctors believe that this may be the culprit. But I am angry at God, why did give me such a special gift only to take it away. I am angry at myself, there were moments when I was seriously stressed out, did I do this to my baby, did I kill her? I don't know if I would ever get over the grief. I am also terrified that I will never be able to have another baby, my partner left me when we found out that I was pregnant and I know that I will not be ready to date for a while...I know that I am not ready, I was not ready when I was pregnant with my daughter and I'm certainly not ready now;but I digress. The doctors say that I should have surgery to remove them about a year before I try again, but I can't even think that far ahead. I just want my daughter back.

  - Daisy

• December 16, 2008 5:42 p.m.

  I posted on this site in May, after my miscarriage with our first baby. Our due date was yesterday and in thinking over the last 7 months, I've been overwhelmed at the support of so many other women who have gone through the same thing. So many friends remembered the due date yesterday and sent messages to us, despite the fact that my husband and I are pregnant again and expecting a baby boy in April. Know that the lost baby can't be replaced and is very much one to grieve and miss and remember and love, but that there is also hope ahead. We've learned a lot through this loss about how to grieve and be with others in sorrow, about God's faithfulness and goodness despite the brokenness of the world, have grown closer in our marriage, and so many more things through this and I think our first baby was a wonderful big sibling for our little boy- he has taught us so much and for a life of 50 days in utero, has made quite an impact on the world and on his family. We love our first little one and there will never be a Christmas where we don't think of him or her, but the legacy he or she gave us will go on. I pray for peace for all of you and that you will find one day that your babies represent gain in your lives and hearts as well.

  - Sarah

• December 13, 2008 11:20 p.m.

  I found out that I miscarried in late October at my 12 wk. ultrasound appt. My husband and I were so excited to see how it had grown in the last 4 wks., only to find out that our baby never developed past 9 weeks and the heartbeat was gone. I had no symptoms that anything was wrong. I was completely in shock. I had to have a D&C the following week. We are still completely crushed. We started telling people at 9wks after a great ultrasound at 8wks. We were so embarrassed and felt foolish for telling people so early. Having to go back and tell everyone at work and all of our friends and family was the worst. I felt like such a failure. Two other women in the office are pregnant and it's a constant reminder of what will never be. A lot of women did open up to me about their own miscarriages and sadly enough, those were the only stories that made me feel any better. Two weeks later a close friend started miscarrying at home. Her husband was out of town so I went and sat with her for a little while. I described the whole D&C experience for her so that she wouldn't be completely in the dark. I kept thinking that maybe I had to go through my experience so that I could be the one to help her through hers. I hated being the one with that knowledge, but now we are all in this secret "club" together and we can reach out and share so that we can carry our friends through when it happens to them. I wish I had known it was a 1 in 5 chance. Thank you for sharing your stori

  - Marie

• December 10, 2008 8:34 a.m.

  It's been almost three months since I had my miscarriage and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about it like it just yesterday. I wss almost 10 weeks, I had a feeling something was wrong, on sunday i fetl pregenant(feeling hugely fatigued and my breast hurting) then monday morning when I woke all the symptoms were gone. I tried not to pay attention but I started bleeding and once I saw the blood I knew my dreams of becoming a mother was over. I went to the ER and they confirmed it by ulrasound. My family was no support, my grandmother was yelling at me for crying. My doctor told me that I can try again in three months which would be the new year. The closer it gets to the new year the more mix emotions that I feel, excited that we can try again but fearful that is could happen again. my husband and I were going to tell our 4 year old son that he was going to have a sister or brother on Christmas Day.

  - Andrea

• December 9, 2008 12:54 p.m.

  Once again I would like to thank everyone for contributing their experiences and their pain. As women we differ in many ways. This event seems to bring out a commonality among us. I read such pain and suffering in the posts and I also read support. Fear of another miscarriage shouldn't be downplayed. It is very real and women have not had future pregnancies because of that fear. Find support and resources so the fear may not have to be the deciding factor about future pregnancies.

  - Mary Murry .com

• December 8, 2008 11:01 p.m.

  I work in the Emergency room and of course all types/kinds of situation caome throught there every twelve hour shift I sign up for. I've posted on here before and this is around the time last year I was about to find out I was expecting. Needless to say I had a rough patch a couple of days here and there but I turned my sadness into helping someone else through a difficult situation. Needless to say a lady around my age was devastated that she was miscarrying. There wasn't a need for an ultrasound she had a very weak urine pregnancy test and her blood work came back to what we expected they call it a "Missed Abortion" or "Spontaneous Abortion". She cried the entire time and I just had to share with her that I knew how she felt and asked for permission to hug her . She was very receptive and I could "feel" the hurt she was experiencing so much that I was on the brink of tearing up. Not becuase of my experience but because of the compassion and realization of the way she was feeling. I'm not sharing this te recieve kudos I can get my daily dose from my two children and loved ones I have and simply go into work to see appreciative faces of a gentle hand. I'm simply sharing that although we don't know why this has happend to us and it is a "loss" we are ina position to help another person, or couple along the way.

  - Eileen

• November 30, 2008 3:12 p.m.

  I am in the midst of a miscarriage. Such an inadequate word for this devastating experience. I was 11 weeks. Miscarriage never crossed my mind - I was clearly spoiled by first two successful pregnancies. I started spotting and an ultrasound in the ER revealed an empty sac. My children, my husband, our friends, and relatives were all excited about this new little one and we were constantly planning for our new baby and wondering about what her or she would be like. I had no idea what miscarriage really meant until now. My heart is broken. Most people don't know what to say. Our culture seems to minimize miscarriage the same way it does childbirth. These HUGE experiences of women ( and their partners) that are historically weathered in silence. I'm outraged and feel so alone.

  - jenoa

• November 29, 2008 9:05 p.m.

  I finally feel I am not alone. I know miscarriages are a "common" thing and know many people who have had them.Some days are harder than others, but not a day goes by since I had the miscarriage on Sept. 23. We were 8 weeks pregnant, and only knew for 2 weeks. We weren't really trying, but since I have endometriosis we decided to stop birth control so that we could start trying. It took only 4 months before I got pregnant. I am 27 years old, and this was my 2nd miscarriage. The first one was last year, but we didn't even know I was pregnant until after I had the miscarriage. I wasn't at a loss then because I didn't really know. I didn't have the excitement, plans, and dreams. This time, we did. We had just began to tell everyone. We thought it was perfect timing. I'm a teacher and the baby would've been due in May, my grandfather just passed away and my family was so excited. I have a really good friend who is pregnant and our due dates were only two weeks apart. Now, she finds it hard to talk to me about the pregnancy. I told her I wanted to hear about it. For some reason, it's becoming incresingly hard to hear about it, to be joyful about her ultrasound picsand to be excited for others when they show me photos of their new babies.At first, I kept telling myslef it wan't meant to be, but it's getting harder to believe that. Everywhere I look I see babies and pregnant women.I guess I just needed to write my thoughts to feel a bit better, thanks for listening. :)

  - Mindy

• November 25, 2008 12:31 p.m.

  I am going through the loss right now as I sit here. I started spotting yesterday and ultrasound showed the baby to be small and no detected hearbeat, I am almost 11 weeks. I have had two perfectly easy and normal pregnancies. My boys are 10 and 6. We were all in love with our baby. We knew the baby should have fingers and toes and eyelids and kidneys that would start working. We knew I should feel baby move around my oldest sons birthday and find out the sex by Easter. Baby was a part of our daily life already... and we waited to tell until we were at 8 weeks just to be on the safe side. Now I worry about my age, I am 35. It took us a year to get pregnant. I am scared to try again, the year of trying was disappointing but this baby is a dream and a promise and endless possibilities I will never be able to hold. It hurts. I have always wanted three. I count myself lucky to have the two wonderful boys I have. I think the simplicity of those pregnancies made me forget about how fragile life is in the begining. I know God has a plan and I trust Him with my life and my children. He brings peace to my heart. I know my child is in His hands.

  - Jenna

• November 22, 2008 12:16 p.m.

  I have the most amazing 13 yr old. The pregnancy was easy. Motherhood has been easy. I wanted a second child right away and have thought about it ever since, but I got divorced 10 years ago and the timing has not been right. I recently remarried and we are ready to share a child together. We got pregnant in March, at the same time my brother and his wife found out they were pregnant with their first. I miscarried naturally at 6 weeks; tomorrow would have been our due date. I have to say that was one of the most emotionally painful events I have ever experienced. I was deeply saddened for so long. Six months later, my brother and his wife had twins. After a very scary pregnancy and a month and 1/2 in NICU, they brought home two beautiful, healthy girls. Four days after my nieces were born I had a positive pregnancy test and thought what perfect timing for me to get pregnant. But 2 weeks and 5 days ago, I miscarried for a second time. This time at 9 weeks. I don't know why. The mystery bothers me. My doctors say since I have gone to term with a pregnancy, the odds are still on my side for a fourth pregnancy to go full term. We are eager to try again, but I am afraid there is a problem and the problem won't be fixed due to the fact that insurance won't cover the expensive testing ... and if I have a third miscarriage, ugh!, not so sure I can go through it again. I know in my heart we will have a 2nd child, but I just don't know what it is going to take, emotionally, physically.

  - -k-

• November 11, 2008 7:55 p.m.

  WHen I found out I was pregnant I was over joyed even though my partner did not want anymore kids he had one and I have two teenage daughters. It was a baby that ws going to be a part of us both. After losing the baby one week after finding oout we never really talked about it but he has been percautious at times with birth control. This past week when our baby would have been at least two months old he brought the subject up. I was suffering alone but maybe he was too and didn't know how to express himself. I cry sometimes but I'm reminded of what could have been with the type of career I have. It's devastating and even though our baby didn't make it and I assumed he was glad about it, it obviously bothered him too. It seems as though we want to try again and I'm ready but to go through a miscarriage I would rather not ... this is a great forum I wish I knew of it a year ago I suffered in silence.

  - Eileen

• November 9, 2008 2:52 p.m.

  I lost my baby in July and now it's November and I find that while I do well in "everyday life", I still hurt so much I almost can't breathe sometimes. I have a supportive and wonderful husband and family and I keep wondering why I don't just move on. But not a day goes by that I don't think of my Evangeline. I'm tired of crying. I miss her so much. I'm trying to work through this (never thought I would ever use that cliche) and maybe this talking/writing will help. Just searching.......

  - Sophia