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• August 12, 2008 9:20 p.m.

  I am blessed with two daughters, both normal and uncomplicated pregnancies. I assumed the third pregnancy would be the same. We went in for our first appointment at 12 weeks. I didn't even panic when they couldn't find the heartbeat using the dopplar. We had an ultrasound right away just to check things out. The baby was not moving and there was no heartbeat. I was shocked. I did have two instances of spotting which were very light and lasted less than a day - no cramping. I thought I was off the hook with nausea - it went away much sooner compared to my other pregnancies. My husband said that something just didn't feel right with this one. Turns out the baby only made it to 9 or so weeks. I was just sickened at the thought of carrying a dead baby for 3 weeks - I couldn't wait to get the D&C over with. It hurts and I feel like a piece of my heart will forever be broken. I keep reminding myself how lucky I am and that the situation could have been worse. My heart breaks for all of you who share the same pain. My emotions are like a roller coaster. I've been off of work and have been hiding away. I don't feel like pretending that I'm okay quite yet.I will be, in time. We plan to try again in a few months - God willing. In the meantime, I keep thanking God for blessing me with my husband and two girls.

  - Aarika

• August 11, 2008 7:13 p.m.

  It is some how comforting to know that other women have gone through the very same things I have. I had a miscarriage at about 9 weeks. I felt like I was being dramatic for being so sad. I did not work for almost 2 weeks after and still cry at the most random things. I had an ultrasound that confirmed there was no baby, only a gestational sac. It helped a little to know that, but I feel cheated. I always thought I would have trouble getting pregant. So why even let me get pregnant. But like some one else said, I have to focus on having a healthy baby not just being pregnant. Which I was looking forward to almost as much as having a baby. I just want it so bad, I feel like everything else is worthless with out being a mom. I am starting to feel like a human being again. But as the days go by, I can only see how big my belly should have been at this time. The ulrasound I should have gotten with my baby's picture. I'm sure it will happen for me eventually, but It will only make me more paranoid and scared when it does.

  - Sara

• August 11, 2008 7:01 p.m.

  I have always wanted to be a mom. Every decision I have made in my life has been wrapped around the idea of being a mother. My greatest goal in life, the thing I want most in the world, still stands just out of my reach. Everything has been so easy for me up until this point. We started trying in March and I got pregnant early in June. I loved every second of it, the morning sickness, the sore breasts. I just thought they were God's little ways to show me everything was ok. My husband wanted to wait to tell even our immediate family that I was pregnant, but I won in the end and we told our parents and siblings when I was 7 weeks. I knew I wasn't in the clear, but thought my baby could use some prayers as soon as possible. At 9 weeks I started spotting very lightly I barely noticed. The next day the cramping started and the brown turned to red. Of course it was a Saturday so the DR on call gave me the standard there is not much you can do, only come to the ER if it gets worse, but come in first thing Monday for an Ultrasound. Which I had to fight the receptionist for but I finally got one. I was tring to stay positive, but I knew the cramps and bleeding were too bad. The Dr told me either I was only 5 weeks, or I was going to have a miscarrige. When I asked about blood work and trying to find out whythis was happening, she said they don't do a work up unless you've had three or more miscarriages. That night, at home my heart and soul fell right out of me.

  - No name given

• August 11, 2008 2:35 a.m.

  My husband & I have been trying ot conceive for over 3 years. After many agonizing days and trying to find a doctor that listened, I was prescribed the fertiity drug clomid. Turns out, I did get pregnant after the 2nd month taking it. I was ecstatic - after so long it felt so good. I had pregnancy symptoms - sore breasts, increased urination, etc. I did a home pregnancy test and it was positve, then another and it was negative (differnt, less sensitive kind). Once I got into my doctor I went for blood tests. The first one had an OK level of hcg, but by then I was having more serious pelvic cramping, spotting, and low back ache. That all got worse and the hcg level dropped. It was confirmed what I already thought - that I was having a miscarriage at 5 1/2 weeks. This was something I wanted so badly and I had that little glimmer of happiness and hope. I feel so cheated - I will never get to see or hold that baby. I tried so long and hard and finally accomplished it just to have it ripped away from me. I don't know what to do. With what has been going on I have been off work a few days & don't want to go back. I catch myself crying, or staring at the little stick with 2 pink lines on it. I try to tell myself that I want a healthy baby, not just to be pregnant, and maybe that helps to cope. Also, that at least I got pregnant and hopefully it can happen again. I tell myself that, but I dread that it will be another agonizing 3 years.

  - Jan

• August 7, 2008 11:04 a.m.

  i am 30 yearsold. and i just had a miscarriage 4 days ago. i thought that i might be pregnant. i did not go to the doctor, i should have i guess. i just don't want to e bothered right now. i have 2 beautiful childrenthat the Lord has so graciously blessed me with. that still doesn't make the loss any better.it is going to hurt for a while. i will get through it. i cry as i sit here and tell this to someone anyone who will listen. God has a plan and purpose for everyone. He needed that little more than i did.m this loss is my third. i have polycystic ovarian syndrome. in short terms it is a miracle within itself that i have the 2 children that i have.

  - regina

• July 31, 2008 9:25 a.m.

  I turned 25 yesterday.Happy day right.I have had 2 misscarriage and two otopic.As I look around at all the parent's I see, I can't help but feel angry and sad.I still sometimes ask god Why me?I would have been good to whatever child you gave me, what did I do to deserve his? It's easy for peaple who don't understand what I'm going through to shrug it off and say get over it allready.It's been a while sence I lost my last, but the pain for me is allways there.I still have to fight tears whenever I see a baby.I even do my best when in a store to not walk nere the by isle.So does it get easier? I SAY NO. Just get's easier to pretend and hide it. For all of you I am truely sorry for your lose.My heart goes ou to you. I will say a special prayer for each of you. And for all the peaple asking what to do for there loved ones that have lost. Be there,listen,don't try to understand,and whatever you do never say {well maybe it was for the best}

  - Scarlet

• July 30, 2008 9:24 a.m.

  At 16 weeks I had a miscarriage. I lost my baby boy whom I named Christian Love...(Love is his dads last name).......When I went to the emergency room...I had mild symptoms..nothing that would have alarmed anybody I thought I was overreacting. The Obgyn gave me hope I had only a 4% chance that far a long of miscarriage...then seconds later the ultrasound showed my babies head was down, I was in labor...minutes later I had a vaginal birth....and the Dr handed me my beautiful but dead baby boy. I cradle him and kept him with me for hours until a chaplain came and blessed him. His funeral is on Monday. For days after he was born I couldnt look at myself in the mirror or shower , I couldnt bear to see my beautiful belly knowing he was gone. The days and years will roll bye I will never forget my little boy. My prayers go out to all the moms, and dads. My only comfort is knowing that Christian has eternal in heaven. What better mother and father than God. I love you Christian

  - Karen

• July 29, 2008 12:50 p.m.

  My daughter has been trying for over a year to get pregnant. She took a pregnancy test 4 weeks ago and it came back positive. She was 11 wks pregnant and her first doctor's appt was scheduled for tomorrow. She lost the baby over the weekend. She is devastated and I am so very angry. She could not get any help from her doctor's office even though she has been paying them for fertility testing during this past year. When she called to voice her concern on Friday, they told her that it was "4:45 on Friday afternoon -- go to the emergency room if you have problems over the weekend" Well, she did. My grandchild never had a chance. I could not wait to see my daughter with her baby. I don't know how she can stand it. How do I help?

  - cm

• July 25, 2008 4:29 p.m.

  At 6 1/2 weeks I miscarried. This was my first pregnany and I bacame pregnant with IVF. I was so unbelievably happy. I am 39 and know the statistics regarding age and IVF success. I lost my mother this year and feel like am now grieving the loss of mother and child. My experience was somewhat similar to all of you. Slight bleeding and cramping, then a bit heavier, but I had some hope before we got official word after ultrasound. My husband has been wonderful but he wraps himself up in his work and keeps very busy. I don't - maybe I should! My thoughts and prayers are with you all. I feel such comfort in chatting with you. We plan to start another ivf cycle soon - that is one thing that is helping me get through this. It's just very difficult becaause I need to miss a lot of work for bloodwork and ultrasounds. Thanks for reading. Jane

  - Jane

• July 24, 2008 5:26 p.m.

  Two weeks ago I began spotting very lightly. I called my ob's office. They said if I was not cramping or bleeding heavily to wait until my appt. this past Tuesday. I waited. I went to the appt., after my exam, the dr. ordered an ultrasound for the next day. She also said my uterus was the correct size for almost 10 weeks. Yesterday a.m. I had my ultrasound and it confirmed that there was no heartbeat. The baby stopped development at 7 weeks, about the time I started spotting. My husband and I are accepting of the miscarriage as God's will; however, the difficulty in losing this child is that I lost my dad a month ago. When I told my mom about the pregnancy, she began to smile again. My deepest pain is for her. I will be 42 on Sat; my husband is 46. We have a healthy 3 1/2 year old that took us 5 years to conceive. I have turned my focus on to him. I look at him and thank God for the blessings in my life. I will miss this second child; We've decided not to try again. The pain is hard and the wait to conceive seems to be longer. Thank you for this site. It is goo to know I am not alone.

  - Renee M.

• July 21, 2008 5:36 p.m.

  I was so happy to find out that I was pregnant, started to feel pregnant symptoms. It was such a great one year aniversary gift. A friend of mine is a gyn and she did the pregnancy test and it was faintly positive. She recommended that i repeat the next day in the morning, it was negative. Last week i started to lightly spot on Monday, not continous, just a spot once a day. Wednesday I went in for my ultrasound to confirm that all was well. I have a blighted ovum, no heartbeat. I was 6wks, it had stopped growing a week or so before, he couldnt precise. I cried, my heart couldnt understand. On Thursday the blood work confirmed that the pregnancy hormone had dropped to levels not considered pregnant. My gyn says to let it take its normal course. It has been almost a week since and my emotions are mixed. Part of me says thank God, it was early, the emotional attachment wasnt so great. Another part of me, even though I know it has nothing to do with me is condoning because i am 36 almost 37 and I think i should have had my children already. The last part is very practical, if there is no embryo just an empty sac, I know that I have miscarried, why doesnt it happen so that I can go on with my life and try again? Right now I feel like this is the most frustrating! This is my first miscarriage and I am hopeful that the next time the pregnancy will go to term. In God we put our trust because he knows why he does what he does.

  - Claudia

• July 20, 2008 4:44 p.m.

  My husband and I had been trying to conceive for 4 1/2 years. At the end of January of this year we found out that we were pregnant. Unfortunately, we lost him on Valentine's Day only a few short weeks later. I empathize with all of my fellow survivors. Until you have a miscarriage, you don't understand the trauma it causes. It's been over 5 months, and I still mourn for the baby. We are anxiously awaiting to get pregnant again. My thoughts, & prayers are with each and every one of those people that have lost their babies.

  - Christelle

• July 16, 2008 6:17 a.m.

  Hi you all,am one of you. i was in my 9th wk when i miscarriaged but it was so very painfull both physically and emotionally. i had spotted for more than a wk and when i did an ultralsound the heartbeat could not be detected and even before i could go back for my next appointment i got these very sharp and continious cramps which detatched my to my unborn child. am so depressed because the guy responsible seems not to have even noticed coz he is so busy chasing his ambitions. its so painfull but there is always another time. i feel for all of in my situation but the Good Lord will help you come over it. God bless you.

  - LIZ

• July 8, 2008 10:06 a.m.

  I found out this morning confirmed by my lowering hcg levels that i misscarried i was 6 weeks. It's so hard we have been trying for over a year now and when we actually had stopped trying so hard i became pergnant. i'm at work now and don't want to tell anyone so i can't go home. i'm so confused and hurting and to top it off i had to tell my fiance over the phone because he knew i would get the results this am to hear the dissappointment in his voice killed me even more and all he said was I love you!!! i'm so greatful to have him supporting me. Thanks for listning and God Bless all the unborn angels.

  - ALEX

• July 3, 2008 3:11 p.m.

  my daughter has been diagnosed with a blighted ovum. It is so sad. This will be the second miscarriage and it took two years to get pregnant. She is feeling lost and alone and I don't know how to help. God Bless all unborn babies

  - dana

• July 2, 2008 7:47 p.m.

  I just found out I was pregnant on Friday. We have been trying for a year. I was really scared to be excited for fear of losing it, but Saturday morning a second test confirmed my pregnancy. I couldn't contain my excitement. We decided to wait to tell anyone until at least our first doctor visit. All day Saturday I basked in my morning sickness and food aversion, which I had had for a week or so already, but now I knew for sure why. Saturday was a great day, but then Sunday afternoon I started spotting. Monday morning I went to confirm my pregnancy and get my levels checked and then had to wait until today to recheck my levels to find out if I lost my baby or not. So from Monday until today I have dealt with cramping, bleeding and fear. I kept trying to accept losing my baby in hopes that I would be more prepared, but my heart would not give up hope. The past three days have been very tearful, but I woke up this morning and the pain was gone and most of the bleeding, I was sure my baby had made it. Then this afternoon, the nurse called to tell me that my levels were all the way done and had dropped rapidly, meaning I had already lost my precious, long-awaited baby. I am utterly lost and in pain, but I know that my baby is safe with God and that He knows best. I am having a hard time dealing with the length that I have to wait before even trying again. We have been trying for so long already. I just pray that the next baby will come without the pain. I was 6wks.

  - Susan

• June 30, 2008 1:50 p.m.

  My daughter had a miscarriage yesterday. She was approximately 12-13 weeks along. She was scheduled to see Dr. on the 2nd. Due to her work ethic, today against the better judgement of her husband, the Dr. and me, she went to work... a job she has had less than a month. She let them know that she may need to go home due to this miscarriage. At noon she didn't feel well enough to stay so she told her boss. Her boss said hmm I don't know (if you can go home) we have deadlines and you have just sprung this on me. My daughter had to explain to him in front of her coworkers that she had not yet had a Doctor's confirmation and it is recommended that she wait until after the 1st tri to announce. Her boss acted like he was the victim. My poor girl was nearly in tears before she was allowed to leave. Her husband has written to the company owner and her boss to let them know how he felt about the situation as well as let them know he didn't want his wife working at a company with such a warped sense of humanity. I just got off the phone with her and told her to climb in bed and sleep for a while and let her husband and I deal with this. This treatment was cruel and I'm curious to hear if others have been treated in such a manner. If so, how did you handle this situation? On the otherhand, I'm the grandmother and my work insisted I stay home today. Thank you in advance for any advice. Sandy

  - No name given

• June 30, 2008 12:46 p.m.

  Hi all,I had a miscarriage on the 18th of May at 18weeks.It was 3days after I had seen my gynae and we confirmed I was expecting a baby boy!My excitement turned into anguish when I started experiencing severe cramping and later my boy was disconnected from my body.Never had I felt so much pain,helplessness and hopelessness.I empathise with you all and would like to reassure you that God is control and nothing is too difficult for Him so lets hold on and try again.Thanks for listening and God bless!

  - hope

• June 29, 2008 12:24 a.m.

  I would be due in 2 weeks with my first baby. We haven't been able to conceive since and it makes the loss even harder to deal with. I am sick of people always saying "At at least you know you can get pregnant" or "It'll happen eventually." Easy for them to say...they ARE moms!

  - EW

• June 28, 2008 8:05 p.m.

  I had a miscarriage this week..went in on monday for confirmation was told i was about 7weeks almost 8 but the doc was having a hard time finding a heartbeat ??missed abortion told me to come back in couple of days to make sure...went back same thing had to have it removed surgically. worse thing i have ever experienced in my life..i kept wondering what if the dr. made a mistake and just could not detect a heartbeat on his ultrasound machine. ..i feel as if i had a life sucked out of me.. my husband did not want be to be pregnant anyway..we have 2 kids..he said that it did not fit into "his" plan and that he had alot of things he was trying to do.. sorry that another life did not fit into "his" plan although he has always said he wanted fourchildren,he did not speak to me for 2 days after i took the home preg test and it said we were pregnant..i am very angry at him..and have not felt any love or support from him..(he has not hugged me kissed me or told me that he loves me..he is carrying on as if it never happened)..other than asking me if i am hungry or in pain..i want to scream."would you have an appetite after you had a life sucked out of you." I am so angry right now but i know that i cannot stay here..i have to forgive him and move on but i don't feel that he cares..

  - angry

• June 23, 2008 5:07 p.m.

  I had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago at 15wks 5 days.I went to my monthly prenatal visit and doctor didn't find a heart beating. He send me in for an ultrasound and the ultrasonographer confirmed that the baby stop growing at 12wks.I have never felt a pain so deep in my life.I am 36 and a mother of 3 healthy children.This pregnancy was for an infertile couple. I'm a surrogate mother,but even though the baby I was carrying was not my biological child it hurt me so much.It's been 2 weeks already since the D&C and I still cry and try to find answers.I do surrogacy because I love being preganat and want to try again.Emotionally I need to have a healthy preganancy before I can say good bye to my chilbearing years.A miscariage is devastating wether you were 7 wks or 15wks into the pregancy. It's devastating wether the baby was yours or not.I want to thank you all for listening. God bless. ~Maribel A

  - Maribel A

• June 20, 2008 8:43 p.m.

  I am a mother on a beautiful little boy. Today I had to end my second and long awaited pregnancy at 8 weeks. I had to have a procedure, for I had a missed miscarriage, too. I started spotting out of the blue Wednesday night. I went to the doctor on Thursday, and there was no heartbeat found. I am 36 years old and want to have another child so badly. I am fearful that if I am able to conceive again that this will happen again. I am so sad. I have read the other postings and felt compelled to write my own. I feel for all of us who have experienced this loss. Thank you for listening, and may we all have the patience and courage to try again.

  - j

• June 19, 2008 8:55 p.m.

  I was 13 weeks and started spotting some during the week. I called the doctors office and was told not to come in as long as I wasn't having heavy, red bleeding. On Saturday night I started cramping in the center of my stomach and in my back. I started getting really nervous so I called the doctors office after hours. Never heard anything that night so I paged the on-call doctor again the next morning on Father's Day. I was told the same thing from earlier in the week. A few hours later I lost our baby and was completely shocked. My husband had just left for out of town so I had to deal with the initial pain alone. My parents have been away all week out of town so it has been extra hard trying to cope. This was our first pregnancy and before this week I had no morning sickness, nausea, etc. I am so scared about next time because I will be so worried every day. I know now how others feel when this happens and hopefully can be there for others when it occurs. I am a social worker and deal with crisis on a regular basis but it is so different when it happens to you. All of you are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for listening.

  - Ansley

• June 15, 2008 11:41 a.m.

  I found out that i was pregnant with twins what a surprise cause my son is 19.I decided to tell my better half on fathers day but my body aborted the babies.It's really hard dealing with this loss. I dont know how he feels if he is hurting or not but I am its so hard.

  - dara

• June 14, 2008 12:11 p.m.

  We went in Tuesday for our 12w ultrasound and were supposed to find out that day if our twins were identical or fraternal. My husband had missed the very first ultrasound, and was therefore very excited about this appointment. However, the ultrasound technician was unable to find a heartbeat for either baby, and said they had stopped growing at about 8 weeks. This was our first pregnancy, after trying for 18 months to get pregnant and enduring fertility drugs and iuis for several months. I had ALWAYS wanted twins and felt that this pregnancy was such a blessing after struggling for so long. We had never heard of a "missed miscarriage" and felt so blind-sided by the whole thing. As each week passed, I felt more confident that things were going well and became more attached to these babies. We had such dreams and plans for them, and now we have no hope at all. We want to have children so badly, and like other people have mentioned, I'm having a very difficult time with feelings of jealousy for what other people have. In a few months we can start trying again, but I'm really scared. This emotional pain is the worst pain I have ever endured--I don't know that I could do it again. I feel cheated that my next pregnancy (if/ when that happens) will be filled with anxiety and fear, not joy and hope. I feel so betrayed by my body.

  - Alli