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• August 30, 2008 12:23 a.m.

  hi- just found this site two days after I lost my baby- it was an ectopic pregnancy- and i can't find a way to stop hearing the word "pregnant" before it was cruelly one that wasn't to continue- i already have two beautiful children, both of whom are my miracles as i was told i couldn't have children- i don't have working ovaries/fallopian tubes- well, it turns out, i did- until this Thursday when they had to remove my left fallopian tube- where the baby was- they tell me it was a collection of cells- for me and my husband, in the short time we had to believe we were to be parents to another baby, these cells were to be born in April 2009, had a name, had given us excitement and dreams- this was our baby. And now there won't be any more- I am over 40, now with no working bits- but i was pregnant- it was my third- I can remember that- and my heart goes out to all women who have this pain. This writing feels all disjointed- like me.

  - kay

• August 29, 2008 1:50 p.m.

  It is nice to know I am not alone I have a beautiful 2 year old son. But we have had three miscarriages this year. I am 27 year old and it seems like all of my friends are having babies. I am tired of being asked when we are going to have another, and to those I have told I get the response well, at least you have one you shouldn't dwell on the miscarriages. Easier said then done. I watch my son with his baby cousin, and think he'll be a great big brother, and while many siblings are much farther in age, I ache to think with each miscarriage the gap between my children is growing larger. I can't seem to get over the losses, and am afraid to try again, but desparately want more children,

  - annie

• August 28, 2008 2:25 p.m.

  Thanks for sharing your stories.It helps us to know that we are not alone but there are many others who are going through this phase.I had miscarriage last week.I started having bleeding without pain at 1.00 a.m.we went to hospital.Doctor told after examining that miscariage has started.The moment i heard these words , was very heart breaking.It seemed as if everything is finished.Unforgetable momment ! A great emotional setback as it was wanted and first pregnancy. Sometimes feeling of anger,sometimes feeling of guilt ,sometimes feeling of hopelessness comes.We dont know when god will give us a baby.At this time i start accepting this grief.I dont think about this.God has given us strength to bear this pain.When things are not in your hand, leave upon God.May god bless everyone and don't let anybody feel this pain.

  - No name given

• August 26, 2008 9:00 p.m.

  Thank for sharing your stories. I don't feel alone anymore in my anger, saddness & frustration that no one else can seem to understand. I can't seem to stop crying but I do feel my tears are deserved and justified. I have lost two babies in the past year & I have been an emotional wreak ever since. My family thinks that I need to get over it and move on but I just can't seem to get past the loss. I was 8 weeks with my first & had a miscarriage which was very painful both physically & emotionally. After a few months we decided to try again with our doctors support & encouragement. When we found out we were expecting again, I held my breath until we made it past that dreadful 8 week mark. At my 12 week ultra sound my doctor discovered that the baby had no heartbeat. My doctor scheduled a D&C for two days later. I didn't want to know details & my doctor requested that we send the baby in to see if they could detemine the cause, of course they couldn't. We are very blessed to have our 4 year old son & he keeps me going but I do feel very cheated & I will never forget my babies that I lost. My 4 year son keeps asking me when is he going to have a baby brother or sister? My son has 7 cousins & another on the way, of which I was told I was going to help give a baby shower this Oct 4th which my due date would have been Oct 1st. Time will ease our pain but it will never fill in that missing piece that will always and forever belong to our babies

  - Jessica

• August 24, 2008 1:08 a.m.

  I read some of the comments, and saw one from someone who said they did not know how their husband felt - for me, it's heartwrenching. My fiance was 6 weeks pregnant, and she suddenly got cramps and spotting earlier. After a trip to the ER, we found out that she had miscarried. I had already started imagining what the baby would like like, his/her beautiful eyes looking at me. This morning, I suggested that we go to Baby's-r-us tonight and pick things out... and now tonight we are no longer having a baby. And it's killing me not to be able to talk about it with her, because I know it has been so hard on her. I feel so guilty, like it's my fault - if I had taken better care of her, had her rest more. I feel a horrible sense of loss, and I wasn't the one carrying the baby - my heart goes out to all of you, as I know you have an even greater sense of loss. I wouldn't wish these feelings on anyone. Take care.

  - Adam

• August 21, 2008 2:17 a.m.

  Two days ago, I was in the hospital delivering my dead baby boy. I have never been this devastated. I'm reading all these stories about these horrible miscarriages and my heart is broken. I pray for all of you who are feeling what I'm feeling. I am trying to cope with the memory of my doctor telling me there was no heartbeat, with the memory of calling my husband at work to tell him I lost the baby. I'm trying to push out of my mind the memory of my 2.6 oz. son who died at 15 weeks laying in a tiny bowl the doctor placed him in. I'm trying to not be so bitter toward every pregnant woman I see and envy them because I was wheeled out of the hospital empty handed. My son will be cremated and put in a tiny urn the size of a shot glass. I never got to know him, I will always wonder what he would've looked like. My living son turns 3 tomorrow and I'm so sad that I couldn't give him a sibling like we planned. I am scared to try to get pregnant again. I don't think I could deal with another miscarriage if this happened again. The only thing I know to do is pray and ask God to help me and my husband through this. That, and hug and kiss my 3 year old as much as I can all day long. I thank God for him. He helps me to get up in the morning when I don't want to. Thank you to all of you who share your stories. You make this hell a little more bearable. God bless you all.

  - Tiffany

• August 17, 2008 8:53 p.m.

  I found out that I miscarried two days ago after my second trimester quad screen came back abnormal. I was supposed to be 16 weeks yesterday. According to measurements, the baby only lived until 13 weeks; my baby had been dead inside my uterus for 3 weeks. I remember my 12 week ultrasound--the baby looked so healthy. It had legs, arms, fingers, toes, a beautiful spinal cord, etc. It was moving around so much the tech had trouble taking the measurements. I heard a vibrant heartbeat. During the ultrasound I had this past Friday, the baby wasn't moving at all. It was all curled up in a little ball, with no heartbeat. I desperately miss my baby. My stomach has returned so quickly to flat as if my body has no remorse. This pregnancy was unplanned and I am a single woman. Trying again for me is not an immediate option. The child's father is probably happy about the miscarriage as he asked me to have an abortion. I feel all alone in my grief. I want my baby to come back to me.

  - Inger

• August 17, 2008 2:51 p.m.

  hi again. I posted in mid June, after having a "missed miscarriage" diagnosed on June 10th, when I should have been 12 weeks pregnant with twins. I had a D&C on June 12, and now, 9 weeks later, my period still hasn't come back. The chromosonal tests came back this week and we found out that our twins were chromosonally normal and that we had one boy and one girl. It's good that they were "normal," but it raises all the old questions again about why we lost them if that was the case. My OB says that they probably had an organ that wasn't developing properly, but both of them? at the same time? what are the odds of that? The not knowing is so incredibly difficlt, and waiting for my period is driving me crazy. We tried for about 1.5 years to get pregnant in the first place, and it's killing me to see the months tick by and not be able to try again yet. I miss my babies everyday, and like a lot of people have said, I feel like very few people understand this. My babies were due at Christmas. Each week that goes by I think about how big they should be by now. THis whole thing continues to be heartbreaking and I find it hard to be optimistic. My husband and I want children so badly.

  - Alli

• August 16, 2008 11:32 p.m.

  Thank you all for sharing your stories and to this site for the article. It gives me comfort ot know that I am not alone in my struggle. I miscarried 3 weeks ago at 7 weeks. I keep telling myself that it it wasn't meant to be but it still takes my breath away when I think of where he/she would be right now or when I see other women pregnant. I loved every minute of the pregnancy down to the 30th trip to the bathroom. Everyone keeps saying the hardest part is to conceive but it really doesn't numb any of the pain. We hope to try again after my first cycle. Thank you for reading--it has been therapeutic.

  - Gina

• August 14, 2008 12:13 p.m.

  Its relieving to hear that I’m not the only one who feels cheated. In July I found out that I was pregnant but a few days later started having sharp pains, when I went to the dr. I learned that I was four weeks pregnant, but that it was ectopic so they needed to give me a shot to absorb the pregnancy. A week later I went in for a check up at a different hospital to make sure my hormone levels were coming down but they were going up instead. The dr. there did ANOTHER ultrasound and reported, regrettable, that I had in fact had a viable pregnancy to begin with but since i had already been given the shot that I would be having a miscarriage. That was a little less then a month ago and the miscarriage process hasn’t even began so now by Friday I have to decide to either use pills to speed up the process or get a D&C. I feel SO cheated; I feel like if I had ignored the pain in the first place everything would have been fine. I'm only 20, I wasn’t planning on a child-even saying that I lost a baby feels like I’m lying to myself and being overly dramatic-I don’t even know how to feel or grieve or anything-i just keep crying, I just want it to be over, in the past month i have experienced every bad thing that can happen during a pregnancy, i dont understand how something like this could happen. Ive been angry lately, and especially bitter toward pregnant women. Im just lost and so overwhelmed that i dont know what to do...

  - Raven

• August 12, 2008 9:20 p.m.

  I am blessed with two daughters, both normal and uncomplicated pregnancies. I assumed the third pregnancy would be the same. We went in for our first appointment at 12 weeks. I didn't even panic when they couldn't find the heartbeat using the dopplar. We had an ultrasound right away just to check things out. The baby was not moving and there was no heartbeat. I was shocked. I did have two instances of spotting which were very light and lasted less than a day - no cramping. I thought I was off the hook with nausea - it went away much sooner compared to my other pregnancies. My husband said that something just didn't feel right with this one. Turns out the baby only made it to 9 or so weeks. I was just sickened at the thought of carrying a dead baby for 3 weeks - I couldn't wait to get the D&C over with. It hurts and I feel like a piece of my heart will forever be broken. I keep reminding myself how lucky I am and that the situation could have been worse. My heart breaks for all of you who share the same pain. My emotions are like a roller coaster. I've been off of work and have been hiding away. I don't feel like pretending that I'm okay quite yet.I will be, in time. We plan to try again in a few months - God willing. In the meantime, I keep thanking God for blessing me with my husband and two girls.

  - Aarika

• August 11, 2008 7:13 p.m.

  It is some how comforting to know that other women have gone through the very same things I have. I had a miscarriage at about 9 weeks. I felt like I was being dramatic for being so sad. I did not work for almost 2 weeks after and still cry at the most random things. I had an ultrasound that confirmed there was no baby, only a gestational sac. It helped a little to know that, but I feel cheated. I always thought I would have trouble getting pregant. So why even let me get pregnant. But like some one else said, I have to focus on having a healthy baby not just being pregnant. Which I was looking forward to almost as much as having a baby. I just want it so bad, I feel like everything else is worthless with out being a mom. I am starting to feel like a human being again. But as the days go by, I can only see how big my belly should have been at this time. The ulrasound I should have gotten with my baby's picture. I'm sure it will happen for me eventually, but It will only make me more paranoid and scared when it does.

  - Sara

• August 11, 2008 7:01 p.m.

  I have always wanted to be a mom. Every decision I have made in my life has been wrapped around the idea of being a mother. My greatest goal in life, the thing I want most in the world, still stands just out of my reach. Everything has been so easy for me up until this point. We started trying in March and I got pregnant early in June. I loved every second of it, the morning sickness, the sore breasts. I just thought they were God's little ways to show me everything was ok. My husband wanted to wait to tell even our immediate family that I was pregnant, but I won in the end and we told our parents and siblings when I was 7 weeks. I knew I wasn't in the clear, but thought my baby could use some prayers as soon as possible. At 9 weeks I started spotting very lightly I barely noticed. The next day the cramping started and the brown turned to red. Of course it was a Saturday so the DR on call gave me the standard there is not much you can do, only come to the ER if it gets worse, but come in first thing Monday for an Ultrasound. Which I had to fight the receptionist for but I finally got one. I was tring to stay positive, but I knew the cramps and bleeding were too bad. The Dr told me either I was only 5 weeks, or I was going to have a miscarrige. When I asked about blood work and trying to find out whythis was happening, she said they don't do a work up unless you've had three or more miscarriages. That night, at home my heart and soul fell right out of me.

  - No name given

• August 11, 2008 2:35 a.m.

  My husband & I have been trying ot conceive for over 3 years. After many agonizing days and trying to find a doctor that listened, I was prescribed the fertiity drug clomid. Turns out, I did get pregnant after the 2nd month taking it. I was ecstatic - after so long it felt so good. I had pregnancy symptoms - sore breasts, increased urination, etc. I did a home pregnancy test and it was positve, then another and it was negative (differnt, less sensitive kind). Once I got into my doctor I went for blood tests. The first one had an OK level of hcg, but by then I was having more serious pelvic cramping, spotting, and low back ache. That all got worse and the hcg level dropped. It was confirmed what I already thought - that I was having a miscarriage at 5 1/2 weeks. This was something I wanted so badly and I had that little glimmer of happiness and hope. I feel so cheated - I will never get to see or hold that baby. I tried so long and hard and finally accomplished it just to have it ripped away from me. I don't know what to do. With what has been going on I have been off work a few days & don't want to go back. I catch myself crying, or staring at the little stick with 2 pink lines on it. I try to tell myself that I want a healthy baby, not just to be pregnant, and maybe that helps to cope. Also, that at least I got pregnant and hopefully it can happen again. I tell myself that, but I dread that it will be another agonizing 3 years.

  - Jan

• August 7, 2008 11:04 a.m.

  i am 30 yearsold. and i just had a miscarriage 4 days ago. i thought that i might be pregnant. i did not go to the doctor, i should have i guess. i just don't want to e bothered right now. i have 2 beautiful childrenthat the Lord has so graciously blessed me with. that still doesn't make the loss any better.it is going to hurt for a while. i will get through it. i cry as i sit here and tell this to someone anyone who will listen. God has a plan and purpose for everyone. He needed that little more than i did.m this loss is my third. i have polycystic ovarian syndrome. in short terms it is a miracle within itself that i have the 2 children that i have.

  - regina

• July 31, 2008 9:25 a.m.

  I turned 25 yesterday.Happy day right.I have had 2 misscarriage and two otopic.As I look around at all the parent's I see, I can't help but feel angry and sad.I still sometimes ask god Why me?I would have been good to whatever child you gave me, what did I do to deserve his? It's easy for peaple who don't understand what I'm going through to shrug it off and say get over it allready.It's been a while sence I lost my last, but the pain for me is allways there.I still have to fight tears whenever I see a baby.I even do my best when in a store to not walk nere the by isle.So does it get easier? I SAY NO. Just get's easier to pretend and hide it. For all of you I am truely sorry for your lose.My heart goes ou to you. I will say a special prayer for each of you. And for all the peaple asking what to do for there loved ones that have lost. Be there,listen,don't try to understand,and whatever you do never say {well maybe it was for the best}

  - Scarlet

• July 30, 2008 9:24 a.m.

  At 16 weeks I had a miscarriage. I lost my baby boy whom I named Christian Love...(Love is his dads last name).......When I went to the emergency room...I had mild symptoms..nothing that would have alarmed anybody I thought I was overreacting. The Obgyn gave me hope I had only a 4% chance that far a long of miscarriage...then seconds later the ultrasound showed my babies head was down, I was in labor...minutes later I had a vaginal birth....and the Dr handed me my beautiful but dead baby boy. I cradle him and kept him with me for hours until a chaplain came and blessed him. His funeral is on Monday. For days after he was born I couldnt look at myself in the mirror or shower , I couldnt bear to see my beautiful belly knowing he was gone. The days and years will roll bye I will never forget my little boy. My prayers go out to all the moms, and dads. My only comfort is knowing that Christian has eternal in heaven. What better mother and father than God. I love you Christian

  - Karen

• July 29, 2008 12:50 p.m.

  My daughter has been trying for over a year to get pregnant. She took a pregnancy test 4 weeks ago and it came back positive. She was 11 wks pregnant and her first doctor's appt was scheduled for tomorrow. She lost the baby over the weekend. She is devastated and I am so very angry. She could not get any help from her doctor's office even though she has been paying them for fertility testing during this past year. When she called to voice her concern on Friday, they told her that it was "4:45 on Friday afternoon -- go to the emergency room if you have problems over the weekend" Well, she did. My grandchild never had a chance. I could not wait to see my daughter with her baby. I don't know how she can stand it. How do I help?

  - cm

• July 25, 2008 4:29 p.m.

  At 6 1/2 weeks I miscarried. This was my first pregnany and I bacame pregnant with IVF. I was so unbelievably happy. I am 39 and know the statistics regarding age and IVF success. I lost my mother this year and feel like am now grieving the loss of mother and child. My experience was somewhat similar to all of you. Slight bleeding and cramping, then a bit heavier, but I had some hope before we got official word after ultrasound. My husband has been wonderful but he wraps himself up in his work and keeps very busy. I don't - maybe I should! My thoughts and prayers are with you all. I feel such comfort in chatting with you. We plan to start another ivf cycle soon - that is one thing that is helping me get through this. It's just very difficult becaause I need to miss a lot of work for bloodwork and ultrasounds. Thanks for reading. Jane

  - Jane

• July 24, 2008 5:26 p.m.

  Two weeks ago I began spotting very lightly. I called my ob's office. They said if I was not cramping or bleeding heavily to wait until my appt. this past Tuesday. I waited. I went to the appt., after my exam, the dr. ordered an ultrasound for the next day. She also said my uterus was the correct size for almost 10 weeks. Yesterday a.m. I had my ultrasound and it confirmed that there was no heartbeat. The baby stopped development at 7 weeks, about the time I started spotting. My husband and I are accepting of the miscarriage as God's will; however, the difficulty in losing this child is that I lost my dad a month ago. When I told my mom about the pregnancy, she began to smile again. My deepest pain is for her. I will be 42 on Sat; my husband is 46. We have a healthy 3 1/2 year old that took us 5 years to conceive. I have turned my focus on to him. I look at him and thank God for the blessings in my life. I will miss this second child; We've decided not to try again. The pain is hard and the wait to conceive seems to be longer. Thank you for this site. It is goo to know I am not alone.

  - Renee M.

• July 21, 2008 5:36 p.m.

  I was so happy to find out that I was pregnant, started to feel pregnant symptoms. It was such a great one year aniversary gift. A friend of mine is a gyn and she did the pregnancy test and it was faintly positive. She recommended that i repeat the next day in the morning, it was negative. Last week i started to lightly spot on Monday, not continous, just a spot once a day. Wednesday I went in for my ultrasound to confirm that all was well. I have a blighted ovum, no heartbeat. I was 6wks, it had stopped growing a week or so before, he couldnt precise. I cried, my heart couldnt understand. On Thursday the blood work confirmed that the pregnancy hormone had dropped to levels not considered pregnant. My gyn says to let it take its normal course. It has been almost a week since and my emotions are mixed. Part of me says thank God, it was early, the emotional attachment wasnt so great. Another part of me, even though I know it has nothing to do with me is condoning because i am 36 almost 37 and I think i should have had my children already. The last part is very practical, if there is no embryo just an empty sac, I know that I have miscarried, why doesnt it happen so that I can go on with my life and try again? Right now I feel like this is the most frustrating! This is my first miscarriage and I am hopeful that the next time the pregnancy will go to term. In God we put our trust because he knows why he does what he does.

  - Claudia

• July 20, 2008 4:44 p.m.

  My husband and I had been trying to conceive for 4 1/2 years. At the end of January of this year we found out that we were pregnant. Unfortunately, we lost him on Valentine's Day only a few short weeks later. I empathize with all of my fellow survivors. Until you have a miscarriage, you don't understand the trauma it causes. It's been over 5 months, and I still mourn for the baby. We are anxiously awaiting to get pregnant again. My thoughts, & prayers are with each and every one of those people that have lost their babies.

  - Christelle

• July 16, 2008 6:17 a.m.

  Hi you all,am one of you. i was in my 9th wk when i miscarriaged but it was so very painfull both physically and emotionally. i had spotted for more than a wk and when i did an ultralsound the heartbeat could not be detected and even before i could go back for my next appointment i got these very sharp and continious cramps which detatched my to my unborn child. am so depressed because the guy responsible seems not to have even noticed coz he is so busy chasing his ambitions. its so painfull but there is always another time. i feel for all of in my situation but the Good Lord will help you come over it. God bless you.

  - LIZ

• July 8, 2008 10:06 a.m.

  I found out this morning confirmed by my lowering hcg levels that i misscarried i was 6 weeks. It's so hard we have been trying for over a year now and when we actually had stopped trying so hard i became pergnant. i'm at work now and don't want to tell anyone so i can't go home. i'm so confused and hurting and to top it off i had to tell my fiance over the phone because he knew i would get the results this am to hear the dissappointment in his voice killed me even more and all he said was I love you!!! i'm so greatful to have him supporting me. Thanks for listning and God Bless all the unborn angels.

  - ALEX

• July 3, 2008 3:11 p.m.

  my daughter has been diagnosed with a blighted ovum. It is so sad. This will be the second miscarriage and it took two years to get pregnant. She is feeling lost and alone and I don't know how to help. God Bless all unborn babies

  - dana