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• June 13, 2008 8:13 a.m.

  It started with really bad cramping that got worse and worse and then I started bleeding. I knew something was wrong. The doctor confirmed a blighted ovum. My hcg levels had dropped, and the ultrasound showed no baby. That was the end. The end of our pregnancy, our hopes, dreams, plans for the future..... My heart broke, and the tears came. That was 3 days ago. My heart is still breaking, and my tears still fall. My husband is trying to be wonderfull, but I don't know that he fully understands. Everyone is trying to be supportive, but I don't even know what I want to hear. We want to ttc again, but I am really worried this will happen again. I don't know that my heart could stand breaking like this again. I have also noticed there are a LOT more pregnant woment around in the last 3 days, I am happy for them, but it still just reminds me of my loss........ thanks for listening to me.

  - Hope2BaMumagain

• June 12, 2008 1:02 a.m.

  I am writing to Almira. I just had a miscarriage yesterday too. I'm 36yrs old and this was my first pregnancy too after 6.5yrs. My husband is also very supportive. We take comfort in knowing God is in control and also we have one adopted daughter and are about to adopt another one. This pregnancy had been a surprise since we had given up.

  - Viv

• June 10, 2008 3:23 p.m.

  I have to admit that I had a very different experience than I've read about here. My miscarriage was at 8 weeks, and I was so grateful that it happened early, and not further into the pregnancy. We were able to concieve again without any problems. My husband and I figured the development wasn't going well and my body was able to detect that and spare the child from any pain or traumatic procedures. I am always amazed at the body's ability to select what is working and what isn't working. Our first born was absolutly worth waiting for!

  - if it had to happen, glad it was early

• June 5, 2008 4:30 p.m.

  I just had a miscarriage yesterday. I'm 35 years old and this is my first pregnancy. I was supposed to be 9 weeks pregnant. We have waited for 5 years to get pregnant. We were so excited. My husband is very supportive. I feel the emptiness. There will never be a day that I won't think of our lost baby. May God give us the strength to continue living. Thanks for listening and sharing..

  - Almira

• June 4, 2008 9:33 a.m.

  Hi All, I just had my third miscarriage yesterday. All three between 12 to 15 weeks. No heartbeat after 12 weeks. Right now I am totally confused since two doctors says no one knows why this happens. I somehow cannot come to terms with that statement. I am sure someone has an answer. One of the doctors told me that it does not makes sense trying again since it will happen again, I wanted to knock him in the head when he made that statement, since on one hand he is saying no one knows and on the other hand he is saying it does not make sense. I have a 5 year old daughter who so far is very healthy and smart. I thank God for her and intend to enjoy her. However, I am not sure my husband is ready to accept having one child alone, and as a result of this I feel a lot of pain since I am the reason my babies are not living to full term. Anyway, if you know of any website or doctor I can get further information from or who might recommend certain test that I should take, I will appreciate if you let me know. I am determined to find out what the problem was/is myself. Thanks of listening.

  - Betty

• June 2, 2008 11:29 a.m.

  We miscarried in October at 16 weeks. We named our little boy Andrew after his dad. Not a day goes by that I don't think of Andrew or all that surrounded our loss. I had never considered what really happens when one miscarries, but now that I know, I will never be the same. When I hear a baby cry, my heart breaks - I picture my sweet, perfect baby boy and wish I could have him in my arms to soothe and be the Mom I know I can be. My husband and I miss him so. Thank you all for listening and sharing.

  - P

• May 29, 2008 9:34 a.m.

  I just found out yesterday that I've miscarried. This was to be our 3rd baby. The doctor said It's a blighted ovum and that she stopped growing at 6 weeks. I was at my appt (11 weeks in) and she couldn't find the heartbeat, so they did and ultrasound. It broke my heart, and it's still not completely real. my doctor suggested I let the miscarriage follow through (rather than having a D& C) so I'm just waiting and its killing me knowing that she's in there and not growing anymore. My husband is being supportive, but he can't understand what I'm feeling. when I say it hurts, he thinks I mean the cramps and I don't. I mean it hurts my heart- I miss her.

  - Lian

• May 27, 2008 2:41 p.m.

  In loving memory of my little angel who passed away 1 year ago... Mommy loves you Grace Imma!

  - Angeltears

• May 22, 2008 2:19 p.m.

  I recently loss my baby week ago at 8 weeks. Had spotting and cramping went to the er to see the baby on the ultrasound only to be told four days later the pregnancy hormone in my blood ahd decreased and to have another ultrsound show the sac was empty. I had a D&C the very next day. I won't stop bleeding, cramping, or crying. I'm angry becuz this was a planned pregnancy and I wanted my baby boy so bad. So he could be as cute as his dad, the love of my life. I pray to heal soon but it looks more unlikely. I also hope every one who has suffered this loss heal more each day. May God bless you all!

  - Dominique

• May 21, 2008 6:27 p.m.

  I too just had a miscarriage yesturday at 9wks, I am 43 and this was to be my 4th baby which I always dreamed of. Last yr. I had a miscarriage but it was a blighted ovum, it was hard not seeing nothing in the sack. But after a year I suddenly got pregnant again and this time I even saw the heart beating, now after 9 wks is all gone. Even though I have 3 other children , this was to be my last try and now my dreams have also died again. I won't try again, it was too dificult, I would constantly ck. my underwear to make sure everthing was ok. I was a little traumatized by my 1st. miscarriage, and I can't do this again. I thank god for my other children, but doesn't take the pain away of this one, like most of you, I named the baby, and now I feel really empty. I pray for the rest of you to find peace and do try again. For me it's just a personal choice not to try again, age factor and 2 miscarriages. My prayers of strength goes to all of us.

  - Barbara

• May 20, 2008 3:02 p.m.

  I miscarried almost 3 months ago. He or she was almost 6 weeks along. I have found the most comfort in knowing that my child is safely in Heaven and that one day I can hope to meet him or her. I realized very early on that I had to name my child. That process has helped me to solidify the fact that the baby was a real person and was my second child. (I have a daughter who is almost three now.) It is amazing to me though how many people have found it hard to relate to me. Some close family members have yet to say a word about it because they don't want to bring it up. Others say things like "it's so common" or "you'll have another one soon." Well that doesn't change the fact that this was a real baby and I miss him or her. Some days are harder that others, but I am resting in the promise of Heaven. To all of you going through the same thing, I pray that you will have peace and hope.

  - Brenda

• May 20, 2008 9:01 a.m.

  i just miscarried.he was 9wks.his name was jayden,he was my first pregnancy.i feel so much at loss,at 31 and married i shld be carrying my baby.God pls give me another baby!its so hard to cope with the loss,its so unimaginable.why shld nature make u fel so excited 4 2months only 2 dash ur dreams.i m still bleeding from the miscarriage and each time i change my pad,i feel i m flushing away jayden.i really miss him. his staying with me for eight weeks was the best weeks of my life.its so hard to cope.

  - barbara

• May 19, 2008 5:40 p.m.

  I was very sick for the first 9 wks of my pregnancy and thought this was a sign of a healthy pregnancy. At my first prenatal appt last week there was no heartbeat and the baby stopped developing at 6 wks. I had a D&E and thought that things would move on. I am not a depressed type person, I usually am very optimistic and always look forward to the future, but this miscarriage has surprised me. I cry at least once a day, usually when I see my wristbands or preggie pops or some reminder of how life was for the first 2 mos of my pregnancy. I don't feel myself. I just want others to know how devestating this is and that you are not alone.

  - bridget

• May 19, 2008 6:37 a.m.

  I also found comfort in this article and in everyone's comments. I, like Stacey (below) started miscarrying on Mother's Day, which was so deflating, since I was so excited to be a mother-we'd tried for 19 months. I was at 9 weeks and had seen the baby once already on ultrasound, at 7 weeks. I saw the baby again last Monday and it was moving and kicking and the heart was beating, but VERY fast (203 bpm) I knew something was still wrong, and so the ultrasound tech let me spend a few minutes talking to the baby while I was watching it on the screen. That bit of time with our little one was incredibly precious, even though I did not know what was coming. The spotting continued and turned from watery browish pink to the consistency of coffee grinds on Wednesday so I went back to the doctor, and the baby was there but the heart was no longer beating. It was devasting, and before I could make my D&C appt, I miscarried at home. In a way, the physical pain of it mirrors my heart's pain. I am healing well physically but like everyone else, the heart is the hardest. I was really taken my Muriel's comments- a 72 year old woman who still misses her little one. I am so thankful to know that healing does not mean forgetting, and that our babies will live with us until we meet them again one day.

  - Sarah

• May 13, 2008 1:14 p.m.

  Thank you for the article and for everyone's words of support and stories. I started miscarrying on Sunday - my first pregnancy - I was at 10 weeks. Ultrasound showed blighted ovum. My husband and I just feel so empty and deflated right now, but reading this article and everyone's words have helped. Thank you.

  - Stacey

• May 12, 2008 3:53 p.m.

  Thank you to all the women who post such personal stories about their hardships with miscarriage. I never knew how common miscarriage is and how many wonderful women and couples have to deal with this pain. I am 31 years old and currently miscarrying our first pregnancy. We went to our first prenatal appt at 9 weeks and upon ultrasound i can tell the Dr was having a hard time seeing the baby. She called it Blighted Ovum or empy sac and i never heard of that. i didnt know what she was talking about but we knew it wasnt good. she immediately sent me for blood work and further ultrasounds which i continued repeating every 48hr for 10 days. The unknown was complete anguish! After the last ultrasound the Radiologist and Dr confirmed there is no baby and probably failed around 7 weeks. So, at 12 weeks we decided D&E was best option because i hadnt even yet begun the physical symptoms of misccariage. I couldnt wait. I felt the need to start having some closure and also be safe in hospital procedure. 10 days later i am still bleeding and cramping. it is getting better. My hormones and emotions are completely SAD and depressed, i have to take it half day at a time right now. It is so difficult - many tears of a sad, lonely, empty feeling that my baby is no longer with us. I feel so bad for my Husband as he is the strong, positive one that is trying to keep us ok. We have faith and will only be stronger thru this so the only thing bright right now is hope and faith for future! Take

  - Bec

• May 11, 2008 8:08 p.m.

  Thank you to everyone for sharing your stories. I, like most of you, just experienced a loss and find it amazing that I had no clue what to expect. I just turned 40, with two healthy children. This was my first miscarraige and don't know anyone who has ever had one....until now. I was 12 weeks and had an ultrasound that confirmed the baby did not make it. It was explained to me that I was pass the pregnancy, with a very heavy period and cramping. What was to come was so very upsetting. I just wish someone would have told me what to expect so I could have prepared myself for "the passing of the pregnancy" and the emotional toll it took. Good luck to all of you and keep up the good work of help us deal with this tragedy.

  - Robin

• May 11, 2008 3:41 p.m.

  I just lost a pregnancy in my 8th week. I really dont know what to feel and how to deel with it yet. I read all the post and am amazed at how many women go through this. It feels terribly sad but hoping that it will end soon for all.

  - ILS

• May 9, 2008 7:14 p.m.

  I am 35 and was pregnant for the first time. I had a miscarriage last week at 9 weeks. I'm devastated and can't stop crying! I haven't told many people (we held off) but now that I've told a few people, I'm completely shocked at how common it is! I'm almost mad that people don't talk about it more. I don't smoke, I don't drink much, I exercise, I'm not overweight...I guess I figured I would be okay. It's seems like a very cruel trick of nature, to let you be excited for 2 months only to have to rush to the hospital with uncontrollable bleeding and a broken heart...

  - kim

• May 7, 2008 7:16 p.m.

  thank you for your article. I lost my twins at 12 weeks minus 1 day. I had twin to twin transfusion, so neither one could survice. They were identical little girls. I underwent one d&c, a month of spotting, and then more bleeding, only to learn I needed a second d&c. it prolonged the nightmare for no reason. I think of my twin girls all the time. this was the second miscarriage in 1 year. I don't have twins in my family but I always always felt I would have twins. So from the beginning, I thought it was meant to be. Now I am so confused... It has been 3 months.. and I feel so down, but it's a subtle, lingering, behind the scenes melancoly. A silent hurt... I notice when I have a moment to myself, I cry still... I hope it goes away at some point. But I just wanted to share my story to let you know that you are not alone, and not misunderstood. Not the way society may lead you to feel. I wrote a blog. writing seems to help me. Feel free to visit it and share your story with me/others, write a poem, share a thought, whatever you'd like. I feel the more we break the silence, the better the healing. I send you all my wishes for healthy, happy babies and peace in your hearts. http://createhealing.blogspot.com/

  - Lori

• May 7, 2008 9:16 a.m.

  I'm 43 and just had a miscarriage. I had 2 miscarriages prior to having my son who will soon be 12. At 43 I thought those days were over and wasn't planning on having any more children although I always wanted more. It was a huge surprise to find out I was pregnant and I was worried about a million things but thought what a surprise blessing and it must be fate. Of course when you miscarry everything changes and excitement and worry turn to grief and confusion and for me some anger. I never dreamed of having another child but then I was forced to think about it and all of the wonderful things that came with it all to have it taken away. I'm grateful still because in all of my pregnancies I prayed for a healthy happy child and I know that those babies that passed wouldn't have been so they are better staying in heaven with all of the other little angels. I was grateful for the chance to have another child but for me it will end. Prior to having my son I grieved for my losses but knew I would eventually have a happy healthy child and I did. I guess this time at 43 I feel the loss even more because I won't be trying again and the dream has to die with the baby. I say keep the faith and also wait to try again until you feel you are emotionally ready. Sometimes we try too soon after an initial miscarriage. Our minds and bodies need time to heal. It is helpful to share my feelings and I pray that each of you get strength and courage and know your chance is still coming.

  - LM

• April 29, 2008 5:47 a.m.

  To Violet, There is something called inevitable miscarriage. Your twins were going into this state and the Doctors should have explained this to you. There are good abortions and bad abortions. So there is no judgement to be made against you whatsoever. While this may not alleviate your pain, just know that you did nothing wrong. You were experiencing or about to experience an "inevitable miscarriage". All my love and prayers to you during I'm sure a still difficult. I just lost my child on Friday. I miscarried after eight weeks. Grieve all you have to. Don't hold back. Juliana.

  - Juliana

• April 29, 2008 5:15 a.m.

  Shayna, I also had a miscarriage on Friday. I was eight weeks along and I did not even know I was pregnant until the doctor came in and told me that I was pregnant, but there's no heartbeat. I felt that I experienced all the issues after the fact. Maybe I did something wrong, I should have known that I was pregnant, maybe if I hadn't been doing this or that, then things would have been different. This is my second miscarriage in 9yrs. I currently don't have any children and this makes it even more painful. The first time was an ectopic pregnancy, so I was a bit more practical with that one, but this time around, the baby was in the right place, but still didn't make it. Right now, I'm an absolute mess. The father of the baby and I are no longer together and I'm really having a hard time coping on my own. I can't function at work, I'm crying all the time and I feel that my world has been ripped from around me. I gave my baby a unique and special name.I felt that it was a boy. This might sound weird, but giving the baby a name has made "his" existence more real and more substantial. Somehow I feel that this was the right thing to do for me to help me heal better. I've learned in life that every individual is a person and deserves to be recognized as such. So a baby, from the time of conception, that has a heartbeat, is a human being and should be regarded as such. Writing this has made me feel better. All my love to all the women going thru this diffic

  - Juliana

• April 27, 2008 1:28 p.m.

  I just had a miscarriage on friday, it was our first pregnancy, its soo hard to deal with, because my husband is military so he is deployed and wont be home until oct..so its been hard, i was only 2 and a half months along but, he/she was our baby and now we nolonger have him or her..i just wanted to say that reading the other comments have helped me so thank you..and i pray that some day we will have our baby..

  - shayna

• April 23, 2008 12:24 p.m.

  I was just wondering for some advice about how to help a friend who has been through numerous miscarriages when I myself am now pregnant. I do want to be there for her but I feel the site of me might do more harm than good at this point. She is in my prayers every night and I admire her strength so much, I just wish I knew what to do for her. Thank you all for sharing your stories. I think every woman knows a family member and friend who have been through this and instead of the seemingly typical attitude of dealing with things silently and alone, it is nice to see women uplift each other and embrace one another.

  - Susan