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• July 2, 2008 7:47 p.m.

  I just found out I was pregnant on Friday. We have been trying for a year. I was really scared to be excited for fear of losing it, but Saturday morning a second test confirmed my pregnancy. I couldn't contain my excitement. We decided to wait to tell anyone until at least our first doctor visit. All day Saturday I basked in my morning sickness and food aversion, which I had had for a week or so already, but now I knew for sure why. Saturday was a great day, but then Sunday afternoon I started spotting. Monday morning I went to confirm my pregnancy and get my levels checked and then had to wait until today to recheck my levels to find out if I lost my baby or not. So from Monday until today I have dealt with cramping, bleeding and fear. I kept trying to accept losing my baby in hopes that I would be more prepared, but my heart would not give up hope. The past three days have been very tearful, but I woke up this morning and the pain was gone and most of the bleeding, I was sure my baby had made it. Then this afternoon, the nurse called to tell me that my levels were all the way done and had dropped rapidly, meaning I had already lost my precious, long-awaited baby. I am utterly lost and in pain, but I know that my baby is safe with God and that He knows best. I am having a hard time dealing with the length that I have to wait before even trying again. We have been trying for so long already. I just pray that the next baby will come without the pain. I was 6wks.

  - Susan

• June 30, 2008 1:50 p.m.

  My daughter had a miscarriage yesterday. She was approximately 12-13 weeks along. She was scheduled to see Dr. on the 2nd. Due to her work ethic, today against the better judgement of her husband, the Dr. and me, she went to work... a job she has had less than a month. She let them know that she may need to go home due to this miscarriage. At noon she didn't feel well enough to stay so she told her boss. Her boss said hmm I don't know (if you can go home) we have deadlines and you have just sprung this on me. My daughter had to explain to him in front of her coworkers that she had not yet had a Doctor's confirmation and it is recommended that she wait until after the 1st tri to announce. Her boss acted like he was the victim. My poor girl was nearly in tears before she was allowed to leave. Her husband has written to the company owner and her boss to let them know how he felt about the situation as well as let them know he didn't want his wife working at a company with such a warped sense of humanity. I just got off the phone with her and told her to climb in bed and sleep for a while and let her husband and I deal with this. This treatment was cruel and I'm curious to hear if others have been treated in such a manner. If so, how did you handle this situation? On the otherhand, I'm the grandmother and my work insisted I stay home today. Thank you in advance for any advice. Sandy

  - No name given

• June 30, 2008 12:46 p.m.

  Hi all,I had a miscarriage on the 18th of May at 18weeks.It was 3days after I had seen my gynae and we confirmed I was expecting a baby boy!My excitement turned into anguish when I started experiencing severe cramping and later my boy was disconnected from my body.Never had I felt so much pain,helplessness and hopelessness.I empathise with you all and would like to reassure you that God is control and nothing is too difficult for Him so lets hold on and try again.Thanks for listening and God bless!

  - hope

• June 29, 2008 12:24 a.m.

  I would be due in 2 weeks with my first baby. We haven't been able to conceive since and it makes the loss even harder to deal with. I am sick of people always saying "At at least you know you can get pregnant" or "It'll happen eventually." Easy for them to say...they ARE moms!

  - EW

• June 28, 2008 8:05 p.m.

  I had a miscarriage this week..went in on monday for confirmation was told i was about 7weeks almost 8 but the doc was having a hard time finding a heartbeat ??missed abortion told me to come back in couple of days to make sure...went back same thing had to have it removed surgically. worse thing i have ever experienced in my life..i kept wondering what if the dr. made a mistake and just could not detect a heartbeat on his ultrasound machine. ..i feel as if i had a life sucked out of me.. my husband did not want be to be pregnant anyway..we have 2 kids..he said that it did not fit into "his" plan and that he had alot of things he was trying to do.. sorry that another life did not fit into "his" plan although he has always said he wanted fourchildren,he did not speak to me for 2 days after i took the home preg test and it said we were pregnant..i am very angry at him..and have not felt any love or support from him..(he has not hugged me kissed me or told me that he loves me..he is carrying on as if it never happened)..other than asking me if i am hungry or in pain..i want to scream."would you have an appetite after you had a life sucked out of you." I am so angry right now but i know that i cannot stay here..i have to forgive him and move on but i don't feel that he cares..

  - angry

• June 23, 2008 5:07 p.m.

  I had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago at 15wks 5 days.I went to my monthly prenatal visit and doctor didn't find a heart beating. He send me in for an ultrasound and the ultrasonographer confirmed that the baby stop growing at 12wks.I have never felt a pain so deep in my life.I am 36 and a mother of 3 healthy children.This pregnancy was for an infertile couple. I'm a surrogate mother,but even though the baby I was carrying was not my biological child it hurt me so much.It's been 2 weeks already since the D&C and I still cry and try to find answers.I do surrogacy because I love being preganat and want to try again.Emotionally I need to have a healthy preganancy before I can say good bye to my chilbearing years.A miscariage is devastating wether you were 7 wks or 15wks into the pregancy. It's devastating wether the baby was yours or not.I want to thank you all for listening. God bless. ~Maribel A

  - Maribel A

• June 20, 2008 8:43 p.m.

  I am a mother on a beautiful little boy. Today I had to end my second and long awaited pregnancy at 8 weeks. I had to have a procedure, for I had a missed miscarriage, too. I started spotting out of the blue Wednesday night. I went to the doctor on Thursday, and there was no heartbeat found. I am 36 years old and want to have another child so badly. I am fearful that if I am able to conceive again that this will happen again. I am so sad. I have read the other postings and felt compelled to write my own. I feel for all of us who have experienced this loss. Thank you for listening, and may we all have the patience and courage to try again.

  - j

• June 19, 2008 8:55 p.m.

  I was 13 weeks and started spotting some during the week. I called the doctors office and was told not to come in as long as I wasn't having heavy, red bleeding. On Saturday night I started cramping in the center of my stomach and in my back. I started getting really nervous so I called the doctors office after hours. Never heard anything that night so I paged the on-call doctor again the next morning on Father's Day. I was told the same thing from earlier in the week. A few hours later I lost our baby and was completely shocked. My husband had just left for out of town so I had to deal with the initial pain alone. My parents have been away all week out of town so it has been extra hard trying to cope. This was our first pregnancy and before this week I had no morning sickness, nausea, etc. I am so scared about next time because I will be so worried every day. I know now how others feel when this happens and hopefully can be there for others when it occurs. I am a social worker and deal with crisis on a regular basis but it is so different when it happens to you. All of you are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for listening.

  - Ansley

• June 15, 2008 11:41 a.m.

  I found out that i was pregnant with twins what a surprise cause my son is 19.I decided to tell my better half on fathers day but my body aborted the babies.It's really hard dealing with this loss. I dont know how he feels if he is hurting or not but I am its so hard.

  - dara

• June 14, 2008 12:11 p.m.

  We went in Tuesday for our 12w ultrasound and were supposed to find out that day if our twins were identical or fraternal. My husband had missed the very first ultrasound, and was therefore very excited about this appointment. However, the ultrasound technician was unable to find a heartbeat for either baby, and said they had stopped growing at about 8 weeks. This was our first pregnancy, after trying for 18 months to get pregnant and enduring fertility drugs and iuis for several months. I had ALWAYS wanted twins and felt that this pregnancy was such a blessing after struggling for so long. We had never heard of a "missed miscarriage" and felt so blind-sided by the whole thing. As each week passed, I felt more confident that things were going well and became more attached to these babies. We had such dreams and plans for them, and now we have no hope at all. We want to have children so badly, and like other people have mentioned, I'm having a very difficult time with feelings of jealousy for what other people have. In a few months we can start trying again, but I'm really scared. This emotional pain is the worst pain I have ever endured--I don't know that I could do it again. I feel cheated that my next pregnancy (if/ when that happens) will be filled with anxiety and fear, not joy and hope. I feel so betrayed by my body.

  - Alli

• June 13, 2008 8:13 a.m.

  It started with really bad cramping that got worse and worse and then I started bleeding. I knew something was wrong. The doctor confirmed a blighted ovum. My hcg levels had dropped, and the ultrasound showed no baby. That was the end. The end of our pregnancy, our hopes, dreams, plans for the future..... My heart broke, and the tears came. That was 3 days ago. My heart is still breaking, and my tears still fall. My husband is trying to be wonderfull, but I don't know that he fully understands. Everyone is trying to be supportive, but I don't even know what I want to hear. We want to ttc again, but I am really worried this will happen again. I don't know that my heart could stand breaking like this again. I have also noticed there are a LOT more pregnant woment around in the last 3 days, I am happy for them, but it still just reminds me of my loss........ thanks for listening to me.

  - Hope2BaMumagain

• June 12, 2008 1:02 a.m.

  I am writing to Almira. I just had a miscarriage yesterday too. I'm 36yrs old and this was my first pregnancy too after 6.5yrs. My husband is also very supportive. We take comfort in knowing God is in control and also we have one adopted daughter and are about to adopt another one. This pregnancy had been a surprise since we had given up.

  - Viv

• June 10, 2008 3:23 p.m.

  I have to admit that I had a very different experience than I've read about here. My miscarriage was at 8 weeks, and I was so grateful that it happened early, and not further into the pregnancy. We were able to concieve again without any problems. My husband and I figured the development wasn't going well and my body was able to detect that and spare the child from any pain or traumatic procedures. I am always amazed at the body's ability to select what is working and what isn't working. Our first born was absolutly worth waiting for!

  - if it had to happen, glad it was early

• June 5, 2008 4:30 p.m.

  I just had a miscarriage yesterday. I'm 35 years old and this is my first pregnancy. I was supposed to be 9 weeks pregnant. We have waited for 5 years to get pregnant. We were so excited. My husband is very supportive. I feel the emptiness. There will never be a day that I won't think of our lost baby. May God give us the strength to continue living. Thanks for listening and sharing..

  - Almira

• June 4, 2008 9:33 a.m.

  Hi All, I just had my third miscarriage yesterday. All three between 12 to 15 weeks. No heartbeat after 12 weeks. Right now I am totally confused since two doctors says no one knows why this happens. I somehow cannot come to terms with that statement. I am sure someone has an answer. One of the doctors told me that it does not makes sense trying again since it will happen again, I wanted to knock him in the head when he made that statement, since on one hand he is saying no one knows and on the other hand he is saying it does not make sense. I have a 5 year old daughter who so far is very healthy and smart. I thank God for her and intend to enjoy her. However, I am not sure my husband is ready to accept having one child alone, and as a result of this I feel a lot of pain since I am the reason my babies are not living to full term. Anyway, if you know of any website or doctor I can get further information from or who might recommend certain test that I should take, I will appreciate if you let me know. I am determined to find out what the problem was/is myself. Thanks of listening.

  - Betty

• June 2, 2008 11:29 a.m.

  We miscarried in October at 16 weeks. We named our little boy Andrew after his dad. Not a day goes by that I don't think of Andrew or all that surrounded our loss. I had never considered what really happens when one miscarries, but now that I know, I will never be the same. When I hear a baby cry, my heart breaks - I picture my sweet, perfect baby boy and wish I could have him in my arms to soothe and be the Mom I know I can be. My husband and I miss him so. Thank you all for listening and sharing.

  - P

• May 29, 2008 9:34 a.m.

  I just found out yesterday that I've miscarried. This was to be our 3rd baby. The doctor said It's a blighted ovum and that she stopped growing at 6 weeks. I was at my appt (11 weeks in) and she couldn't find the heartbeat, so they did and ultrasound. It broke my heart, and it's still not completely real. my doctor suggested I let the miscarriage follow through (rather than having a D& C) so I'm just waiting and its killing me knowing that she's in there and not growing anymore. My husband is being supportive, but he can't understand what I'm feeling. when I say it hurts, he thinks I mean the cramps and I don't. I mean it hurts my heart- I miss her.

  - Lian

• May 27, 2008 2:41 p.m.

  In loving memory of my little angel who passed away 1 year ago... Mommy loves you Grace Imma!

  - Angeltears

• May 22, 2008 2:19 p.m.

  I recently loss my baby week ago at 8 weeks. Had spotting and cramping went to the er to see the baby on the ultrasound only to be told four days later the pregnancy hormone in my blood ahd decreased and to have another ultrsound show the sac was empty. I had a D&C the very next day. I won't stop bleeding, cramping, or crying. I'm angry becuz this was a planned pregnancy and I wanted my baby boy so bad. So he could be as cute as his dad, the love of my life. I pray to heal soon but it looks more unlikely. I also hope every one who has suffered this loss heal more each day. May God bless you all!

  - Dominique

• May 21, 2008 6:27 p.m.

  I too just had a miscarriage yesturday at 9wks, I am 43 and this was to be my 4th baby which I always dreamed of. Last yr. I had a miscarriage but it was a blighted ovum, it was hard not seeing nothing in the sack. But after a year I suddenly got pregnant again and this time I even saw the heart beating, now after 9 wks is all gone. Even though I have 3 other children , this was to be my last try and now my dreams have also died again. I won't try again, it was too dificult, I would constantly ck. my underwear to make sure everthing was ok. I was a little traumatized by my 1st. miscarriage, and I can't do this again. I thank god for my other children, but doesn't take the pain away of this one, like most of you, I named the baby, and now I feel really empty. I pray for the rest of you to find peace and do try again. For me it's just a personal choice not to try again, age factor and 2 miscarriages. My prayers of strength goes to all of us.

  - Barbara

• May 20, 2008 3:02 p.m.

  I miscarried almost 3 months ago. He or she was almost 6 weeks along. I have found the most comfort in knowing that my child is safely in Heaven and that one day I can hope to meet him or her. I realized very early on that I had to name my child. That process has helped me to solidify the fact that the baby was a real person and was my second child. (I have a daughter who is almost three now.) It is amazing to me though how many people have found it hard to relate to me. Some close family members have yet to say a word about it because they don't want to bring it up. Others say things like "it's so common" or "you'll have another one soon." Well that doesn't change the fact that this was a real baby and I miss him or her. Some days are harder that others, but I am resting in the promise of Heaven. To all of you going through the same thing, I pray that you will have peace and hope.

  - Brenda

• May 20, 2008 9:01 a.m.

  i just miscarried.he was 9wks.his name was jayden,he was my first pregnancy.i feel so much at loss,at 31 and married i shld be carrying my baby.God pls give me another baby!its so hard to cope with the loss,its so unimaginable.why shld nature make u fel so excited 4 2months only 2 dash ur dreams.i m still bleeding from the miscarriage and each time i change my pad,i feel i m flushing away jayden.i really miss him. his staying with me for eight weeks was the best weeks of my life.its so hard to cope.

  - barbara

• May 19, 2008 5:40 p.m.

  I was very sick for the first 9 wks of my pregnancy and thought this was a sign of a healthy pregnancy. At my first prenatal appt last week there was no heartbeat and the baby stopped developing at 6 wks. I had a D&E and thought that things would move on. I am not a depressed type person, I usually am very optimistic and always look forward to the future, but this miscarriage has surprised me. I cry at least once a day, usually when I see my wristbands or preggie pops or some reminder of how life was for the first 2 mos of my pregnancy. I don't feel myself. I just want others to know how devestating this is and that you are not alone.

  - bridget

• May 19, 2008 6:37 a.m.

  I also found comfort in this article and in everyone's comments. I, like Stacey (below) started miscarrying on Mother's Day, which was so deflating, since I was so excited to be a mother-we'd tried for 19 months. I was at 9 weeks and had seen the baby once already on ultrasound, at 7 weeks. I saw the baby again last Monday and it was moving and kicking and the heart was beating, but VERY fast (203 bpm) I knew something was still wrong, and so the ultrasound tech let me spend a few minutes talking to the baby while I was watching it on the screen. That bit of time with our little one was incredibly precious, even though I did not know what was coming. The spotting continued and turned from watery browish pink to the consistency of coffee grinds on Wednesday so I went back to the doctor, and the baby was there but the heart was no longer beating. It was devasting, and before I could make my D&C appt, I miscarried at home. In a way, the physical pain of it mirrors my heart's pain. I am healing well physically but like everyone else, the heart is the hardest. I was really taken my Muriel's comments- a 72 year old woman who still misses her little one. I am so thankful to know that healing does not mean forgetting, and that our babies will live with us until we meet them again one day.

  - Sarah

• May 13, 2008 1:14 p.m.

  Thank you for the article and for everyone's words of support and stories. I started miscarrying on Sunday - my first pregnancy - I was at 10 weeks. Ultrasound showed blighted ovum. My husband and I just feel so empty and deflated right now, but reading this article and everyone's words have helped. Thank you.

  - Stacey