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  • Pregnancy and you blog

  • March 27, 2008

    How old is too old to have a baby?

    By Mary M. Murry, R.N., C.N.M.

145 comments posted

When I had my first child I was 32 years old and considered an "elderly primip." I felt I was in the prime of life, certainly not elderly.

About 14 percent of births in the United States are to women 35 and older. Now they are considered advanced maternal age. What does that mean exactly?

I thought I would tackle the issues of advanced maternal age in two parts. Today I will talk about conception and early pregnancy. I will cover more of the possible issues of late pregnancy in women over 35 if you are interested. My goal is not to make light of the potential issues but rather put them in perspective.

Women over 35 may take longer to be able to conceive. This is related to those eggs we have had since birth. We don't make new eggs as men make new sperm. Our eggs are with us almost from conception. They don't always age well. They can lose quality and there can be fewer of them. This is one reason to seek help from your health care provider if you have been unable to achieve pregnancy after trying for 6 months.

There is an increase in spontaneous miscarriage with an approximate risk of 25 percent in women age 35-39 and 51 percent in women 40-44. If you look at this another way, women 35-39 have a 75 percent chance of not having a miscarriage.

The concern many women over 35 hear about most often is Down Syndrome or other chromosomal abnormalities. At 35 a woman's risk of any clinically significant chromosome abnormalities is about 1 in 200. Her risk of a baby with Down Syndrome is about 1 in 365. In other words, the odds of having an absolutely normal baby would be about 99.34 percent.

I haven't answered the question of how old is too old because I don't think there is one answer. There are so many positive things about having children when we are older and yet the increased risks are real. Learn as much as possible and if and when you get pregnant, rejoice!

145 comments posted

blog index

  • May 14, 2013 1:08 a.m.

    I was told I couldn't have kids because I had two abortions at 16 and 18. I thought for a long time I was being punished by God and out of nowhere..I had a healthy baby at 34. I thank the Gods everyday for my son. I took it as a sign as it was my time. I am in consideration of a girl.. but don't want her or him to come out with birth defects... I guess I can only put it to the higher powers again. If it was meant to be it will.

    - angel

  • April 30, 2013 2:45 p.m.

    Babies end up being a blessing whether they are carefully planned for or not...they are funny that way ;) However if you had to choose wait until you are ready to become a mom. But if not youll be so glad you had a baby anyway. ;)

    - Marie

  • April 30, 2013 2:40 p.m.

    I am 34 years old. I do not have any children. I would like to have children one day, maybe one maybe two. I am glad I decided to wait to have children. Because I have grown so much in the past ten years and have gotten to know myself, developed a career and a sense of independance. God willing I will truly embrace becoming a mother one day and give my child all the knowledge and things that I have learned. While all my friends freaked turning the big "30" and needing wanting to have babies NOW or NEVER attitude..I say...just chill...be happy...and dont worry be happy. Plan, live, do what makes you truly happy. After all...the longer you wait for something the more you apprecaite when it arrives. And if you prepare for it and have a good sense of reality...youll be great! And as far as medical reasons, things can happen at any age.Although risks can be greater, risks are always present. GOOD LUCK to all the mommy to be and mommy wanting to be out there!!! Bless you and your future children, and may they become assets to the world ~

    - CC

  • April 30, 2013 2:30 p.m.

    How about...having a baby when you really really want one and are able to supply your child with everything the child needs and deserves. Having a child is not only about the mother but it is about the baby as well. Finances in order, loving solid relationship, stability. I find these things come later in life. However everyone is different. Have children when you are good and ready.It is a tough job if you want to do it well and is immensly rewarding if sone properly as well. There is no "perfect' age to create another human....it is a blessing and gift, the more you are prepared the better the experience will be for you, baby,the baby's father and the world ~

    - Claudia

  • April 16, 2013 11:59 a.m.

    I just turned 30 and my friends are all around the same age, some are just having kids, others like me are waiting until 35-39ish when we have our finances/life in some kind of order... and most importantly when we want to have kids! If I can't have them then it's not meant to be but i'm not worried at all. Good luck everyone and go at your own pace.

    - Nikki

  • April 4, 2013 3:55 a.m.

    It's so nice for me to read this. My husband told a friend of his the other day that we were thinking of having a child (I am 39). My hubands' friend responded "Really, at her age its dangerous for her because of all the problems she may encoutner with down syndrome etc" Once I heard that, I felt terrible and really upset with his response. Then I thought, well that's interesting, and how many pregnancies has he gone through! Thanks again, I feel a little more positive now.

    - Donna

  • March 26, 2013 6:07 p.m.

    With all that said good luck and best wishes to all who are trying at this age:)

    - Ty

  • March 26, 2013 6:05 p.m.

    For the no name given posted( May 13 2012) I know Im late but I am just getting in this discussion. I am 32 years old and I still have not had any children actually I had a miscarriage at 19 years old. I do of course plan on having 2 children if God's willing. My mother gave birth to my brother when I was 25 I was her only child she had me at 19 years old and had my brother at 44 years old. She has more energy now then she did when I was a baby. Oh and not to mention she gave birth to him natural and in the tub her and my stepfather delivered my brother. No complications. My brother is now 7 and healthy as a peach so honey it depends on the women the body and God.

    - Ty

  • March 9, 2013 2:48 p.m.

    I didn't find the right man and get married until I was 28 (one month away from being 29, actually). We weren't ready to have kids right away and then we had a miscarriage when I was 32. That was a difficult experience to say the least and made us not want to try again for quite a while. After much prayer, I had my first when I was 1 week away from being 35. He's a healthy 8 year-old boy now. After much prayer again, I had my second when I was 39.5 years old and he's a healthy 3 year-old now. I came to this article because I really want a third. My husband doesn't want a third b/c of our age. It's going to take a miracle for his mind/heart to change. As I'm writing this comment, I'm really just confirming to myself that it is really about trusting God with it and it is really about God's will being done. He is a good and loving God and he knows the plans He has for you. Both of my kids were created by God and are blessings from Him. God bless...

    - julianna

  • March 8, 2013 1:49 p.m.

    Hi i am a 44 year old woman with two boys 18 and 16 .. 12 years ago at 32 i lost a baby at 22 weeks was devistated.. In the past 12 years i had accepted that my family was complete and thought i was not having anymore children.. about a year and half ago i got involved in a new relationship.. to my suprize i missed my period in october 2013 and found out i was pregnant.. Suprized and shocked my boyfriend and i had decided to proceed with the pregnancy , many people were aganist it and said i was going to have a downes baby but felt it was meant to be but i was going to have Gentic testing ... to my surprize all tests came back fine and in May of 2013 i am expecting a baby girl... so to all my fellow woman who want a baby in there 40's go for it but do seek the proper medical attention good diet and take care of youself ... what is gods will will be .. good luck ladies ..

    - Angela

  • March 4, 2013 5:37 p.m.

    Thank you for mentioning pregnancy at 40 and older. I think it might be good for me to do a blog specific to this topic.

    - Mary@Mayo

  • March 3, 2013 2:45 p.m.

    This article is very misleading. To all of the women on here who are over 39 it is almost irrelevant and missing so much needed information. At the age of 41 your chance of down syndrome goes to 1 in 10 and over 42 1 in 4. Why this article didn't mention that I don't know but get the facts and this article surely didn't have any useful ones for those over 39.

    - anonymous

  • January 3, 2013 3:32 p.m.

    I had four kids when I was younger. I remarried and had a daughter when I was 43. I have since then had two miscarriages. I'm wondering if I should just throw in the towel. :( The place I go for prenatal care is NOT interested in advising me or giving me progesterone, since mine is slightly low.

    - Michelle

  • December 6, 2012 8:46 p.m.

    Thank you for putting the statistics so positively! As a 39-year-old mum-to-be you have put my mind at a bit more ease xxx

    - Sophie

  • November 5, 2012 5:22 a.m.

    Hi im 30 and have been with my partner for 3 yrs we just went overseas and now have the travel bug and are planning to postpone having a baby for another yr or so as we want to travel more im just a little worried that in doing so i run the risk of leaving it too long but we want to travel before having kids

    - adele

  • October 7, 2012 2:42 a.m.

    I am 44 years old, I have a beautiful daughter, she's 9 years old. I'm still fantasysing of having an other baby, but it 's possible only if I do IVF NATURAL CYLE(kind of IVF for older women).Am I crasy??

    - MERIAM

  • September 27, 2012 2:53 p.m.

    Thank you for this short yet very informative article. It really helped to put the whole entire idea of pregnancy after 45 into perspective. I will leave this part of my life like I have everything else in God's caring hands.

    - Jacqueline

  • July 26, 2012 1:17 p.m.

    I am 36 years old and 8 weeks pregnant with my first child. I was worried about having difficulty getting pregnant, but it only took two months! So far the pregnancy is going well. I do worry about the increased risk of Downs Syndrome but hoping and praying for a healthy baby. I would have liked to start a family sooner but didn't meet the man I'm meant to spend my life with until last year. I had begun to lose hope that it would ever happen but it finally did :)

    - Summer

  • July 25, 2012 2:00 p.m.

    i feel better after reading this. I will be 38 in December 2012, my only child will be 21 years old in December 2012. I am now having empty nest syndrome. Thank you....

    - Dawn

  • June 29, 2012 5:32 p.m.

    I am 39 and have no kids. When I was in my twenties my boyfriend at that time and I tried to have a child for almost two years, but I never got pregnant. He left me when I was 30 and I was devastated for years and accepted that I would never be a mother. My thirties were happy years, but it took me almost 8 years to open my heart again. I am now with the man I love and a day before I turned 39 I found out that I was pregnant. I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks and my heart just broke. This was a month ago and though I try not to worry too much I am afraid I will never experience what it is like to be a mother. I read all these comments and it makes me happy and scared at the same time. If I could have decided I would have had my children in my late twenties, but it did not happen. Now it may be too late. My advise to anyone is not to postpone anything this important. I have had a wonderful and amazing life and still have. BUT how I would LOVE to be a mother. Good luck to you all!!!

    - Pia Maria

  • June 15, 2012 10:10 a.m.

    I had 3 kids by the time I was 21 years old. (twins) Seven years later I had 1 more, then 1 more 4 years later. (thats 5) I divorced and remarried a much younger man that had no kids and wanted them (including,hopefully, a boy) Since then we have had 3 beautiful girls that are the pride of their daddy. (now 4,2 and almost 1) I turn 42 in july and we are contemplating trying one last time. I was diagnosed with MS last November, but with medication I feel great! I run a daycare in our home, so I take care of a number of kids, with no problems! My energy level is better than my husbands!! And I am fortunate to look years younger than my age, so no one knows we have a 13 year age difference between my husband and myself. He is a hard working, financially responsible man and a wonderful father to ALL my kids! I am not worried in the least to try JUST ONE last time! : )

    - Amy

  • June 12, 2012 12:17 a.m.

    I could'nt help but notice this "Dorothy" character while reading these comments. I initially started reading because I am 34 years old and have not had a baby yet. I was wondering if I am "too old". After seeing the first two comments from "Dorothy" I noticed the punctuation, spelling, grammatical and just plain english errors. The final apology comment was pretty normal. Could it be from her 30+ year old daughter who has yet to conceive or is "Dorothy" just a drunken and/or iliterate fool who apparently had kids at the "perfect" time?

    - Christina

  • June 10, 2012 2:24 p.m.

    This article cherry picks too much. A better advice perhaps would be for women to freeze their eggs earlier in their 20s. Science can't change biology and controlling perception does not change the underlying reality.

    - No name given

  • June 7, 2012 7:06 p.m.

    U know im 41 and my doctor told me its bad to have a baby over 35 and so i went on the depo now reading this i made a bad decision

    - tami

  • June 3, 2012 3:12 p.m.

    That was really good advice as i am a 36 year old woman & both me & my partner want kids, just reading what youve said has reasured me & therfore think we will now go ahead. thank you

    - sharon

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