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• Housecall
• Alzheimer's caregiving
• Living with cancer

• September 25, 2007 9:10 p.m.

  To Paula - Take her to an allergist and ask to be tested

  - Bonnie

• September 25, 2007 8:40 p.m.

  Dear Elly, this is just my opinion I could be wrong. I do not know if you have tried to set boundaries with your 32 year old neighbor. I have had to overcome similar situations, I understand how awkward and stressful it must be for you. (Especially if you're peeking outside your door to avoid her.) The least stressful and direct approach would be to clearly tell her something like this, "This is not personal; however, I enjoy my independence and also prefer the company of people my own age. Do you understand?" You may want to avoid making an enemy with a neighbor. It could get messy and overwhelming. If she continues to latch on to you, there is the options of having the apartment management speak with her, or God forbid, obtaining a restraining order. I hope your problem is resolved peacefully. I feel for your neighbor. She's probably just lonely and is looking for a friend. It's just not you.

  - Renee

• September 25, 2007 8:06 p.m.

  Stress? What is that? I am 57, a male to female transsexual (post-op), I moved from Missouri to Minnesota in 1999, have had eight jobs in eight years(most short term), have been unemployed since 11/2005 when I was diagnosed with primary generalized epilepsy, and currently have no income. I once knew about stress. Now it is a thing from the past. If the anti-convulsants were working properly I could either get back to looking for a job, or at least doing some work from home. Or I could get back to composing music, writing poetry and fiction and doing freelance writing. It is one day at a time. Very slowly.

  - Lisa

• September 25, 2007 7:51 p.m.

  Thank you so much for this idea. Think the newsletter is helpful to all of us, but think the blogging will even be more helpful to see other's ideas and how they deal with problems.

  - Claire

• September 25, 2007 7:48 p.m.

  I am 75 years old, live in a subsidized apartment designated for 'elederly'. There is a 32 year old handicapped lady, who has attached herself to me, frankly she is driving me crazy! I peek out of my doorway, to be sure she is not standing there waiting for me. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but how can I get rid of her? Something legal,please> Elly

  - Elly

• September 25, 2007 7:18 p.m.

  It helps me to distinguish between what I have to do and what I would like to do at times when I feel overwhelmed. All I have to do is eat, drink, sleep, and take my meds. Pretty much all else is under the would like to do heading. I may prioritize that list, but at least the real necessities seem manageable.

  - Mary

• September 25, 2007 7:10 p.m.

  Rosemary I agree with Sandy, "b"is not a bad word. Stress and anxiety are not self inflicted, if they were I am pretty sure there would be alot less.Things just happen in our lives that are beyond our control. I want tothank Steve,Rene,Melody and Elsbet for all your encouragement.I still practice my biofeed back(breathing techniques).I do pray to God everyday, not to heal me but to give me the strength to keep fighting and not giving up.I thank him that we all survived and I give him the problems that out of my control and I have faith that he will do what is right for me even if I don't understand it. My mom always told me not to question why things happen, they happen for a reason.Rene you sound like a wonderful doctor and I hope God is with you all the time.Rosemary I will pray that you are watched over. Henry I want to thank you also. I felt like I actually had all of you to talk even though it was through a blog.I never have done this.Thank you once again. MAG

  - Mag

• September 25, 2007 7:05 p.m.

  I have found that since I started drinking a certain Mangosteen juice, which is a nutritional supplement, my stress has been much easier to handle.

  - Chris

• September 25, 2007 6:59 p.m.

  Paula...I would get another docs opinion. As for me, I am a 54 yr.old who is a caregiver to a daughter with MS and a granddaughter with Bipolar disorder. They live with us. I have taken care of them for 12 years now. Recently I have ben diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia. I hurt to exercise but I know I need to anyway.

  - Donna

• September 25, 2007 6:50 p.m.

  Albert Ellis has a slew of books whose titles will give you an idea how they might help. Here are three: "How To Make Yourself Happy--And Remarkably Less Disturbable;" "How To Stubbornly Refuse To Make Yourself Miserable About Anything--(Yes, Anything!);" "How To Control Your Anxiety--Before It Controls You." Ellis is not your usual guru; his books are not, despite their titles, the usual self-help books. His approach is psychological and philosophical (i.e., fundamental). It's caught in Lou Holtz's comment that "Life is 10% what happens to me; 90% how I react to it." Ellis shows you how to become aware of the ways you create your stress from situations that our language says stressed us: "I was stressed by_______." Wrong! Ellis says: We stress ourselves. But not for a moment does he deny things happen to us that are wrong, bad, undesirable, painful, etc., and maybe something should be done about them.

  - Tom Robischon

• September 25, 2007 6:31 p.m.

  My biggest stress relievers are prayer, listening to christian music and playing christian music on the piano or organ. I listen to christian music every day. Whenever I drive, that is all I listen to. I also read inspirational books, as well as the Bible, as a help for stress relief.

  - Melody

• September 25, 2007 5:56 p.m.

  Check with a local Humane Soc. There are people that rescue specific animals and breeds.They take them home and until a home can be found for them.My family loves dachsunds.Our first one gained weight after being neutered and injured his back.We eventually had to put him down.It was like losing a child.I did not want 2 go through this again.We eventually foster a female that had been abused.We rebuilt her trust and found the perfect family.I soon broke down and got two mini dachs and they have so far out lived Rusty by four years.They are going on eight years old.Their max weight is 11lbs. Our female is 10lbs 3oz and our male is 13lbs so we are trying to bring him back down a little.They are head strong but easy to love. The Humane Soc should work with you (if they do their job)They should always try to find help rather than put them down. They also will help with neutering and spaying if people can't afford it. Good Luck, I hop it works out. Mag

  - Mag

• September 25, 2007 5:54 p.m.

  Rosemary, CALL animal control and get rid of the sick cats, yes I know that sounds mean but your not in a position to care for stray animals if you have got $ problems. I grew up on a dairy farm and love animals but these cats have got to go! Get Dave Ramseys book The total Money Makeover. You can rent it from a library if you cant afford it. It will change your life and perspective about whats really important in life--the book is an easy read and step by step giude to get out of debt and STAY OUT!!! read this before you consider bankruptcy!!! DEBT IS STRESSFUL but you can get control. Dave Ramseys book will show you how--its life changing!!!

  - LIZ

• September 25, 2007 5:45 p.m.

  I think that alot of the stress and anxiety we experience everyday is self inflicted. I am a Registered Nurse and work in Critical Care and ICU, I take care of patients who have had Gunshot Wounds or other major trauma and will never walk, talk or function normally again. I also care for Organ Donor patients who had zero chance of survival. Death, crisis and dying everyday. What gets me is that there are so many people in the world who have much bigger issues than the small issues that you or I tend to focus on. Stress and anxiety are common responses to our everday "issues", but if we take a step back and look at the whole picture we might just realize how fortunate we all are to be walking, talking and breathing. -- yesterdays history, tomorrows a mystery, today is a gift thats why they call it the present. Elisabeth--MO USA

  - Liz

• September 25, 2007 5:42 p.m.

  I have tried various forms of meditation for years, with mixed effects. Recently, I revisited the "relaxation response." I appreciated the suggestion that personally meaningful prayful expressions could be used as part of the ritual. http://www.mbmi.org/basics/whatis_rresponse_TRR.asp

  - Henry

• September 25, 2007 5:31 p.m.

  I think sharing with other people is really important. This includes talking about one another's days, sharing food, giving hugs, exercising together...even crying to (close) friends if that's how I feel. Even allowing myself to get angry with others is important (in moderation), and having relationships in which anger is OK and can be worked through can come from a place of trust and mutual respect. I try to surround myself with friends that are looking for these things, and often make friends by putting such gestures forward. It works for me because it gives perspective and opens up my mind so that I can let go of the little things that effect (and stress) me as an ego. We're hard-wired to need others and that's good.

  - Elsbet

• September 25, 2007 5:30 p.m.

  I work 13-14 hrs/day not including driving 30 miles each way to work. I own my own company and am responsible for the livelihoods of 20 people at my company. I try to stay as calm as possible and the illness of my son has put it all in perspective. I have not found many ways to manage my stress. I have found that satellite radio during my 75-90 minute ride home helps and exercising on the weekend before anybody gets up is great. A walk in the park at night with my dogs also help. Coaching my sons baseball team helps somewhat but i would stress out trying to get to each game and practice on time. I am better off being a spectator. Other than that, I have not found the time to sit down and manage my stress.

  - Rick

• September 25, 2007 5:16 p.m.

  For Rosemary who is deep in debt -NEVER let debt be stressful! DO something about it(I know, it's hard). Get control of it by seriously considering filing a bankruptcy. THe "b" word is NOT a bad word. It is your legal right. Your health and your life are MOST important - NOT the creditors who I suspect harass you daily. I am a bankruptcy attorney and with VERY few exceptions, our clients say it was THE best decision they ever made. Now THEY are in control of their lives - NOT some unkown creditor who gets paid to threaten and fighten you. If you were on your death-bed, they would strongly urge you to "just write out a check" before you die!!!! If you do NOTHING else, at least talk to an attorney about this and GET INFORMATION! I would suggest a woman -Most of our clients leave our office with a smile and more contentment than they have had in years!

  - Sandy

• September 25, 2007 5:04 p.m.

  stick that list on your favorite room's wall and start solving problems, please note, solving problems can be like bycicle riding, start with small ones, mix a medium one, some more small, and then once you feel the rush of the wind, tackle a big one, cross the problems solved, do not erease, so as to keep track of your progress, when a problem arises you will go and check your cardboard and think "which column does this problem belong to?" and write it down, it is such a relief¡¡¡¡, off your back, and to the wall¡¡¡ it is very simple and one whole lot of help in stress, also mild ansiolysis is used, Linden flowers and citrus leaves infusion taken at night sweetened with honey works wonders, the aforementioned quality of your sleep, the amount of "rest" will increase beyond belief, good luck¡¡¡¡ P:S: For the non solution problems, and the ones beyond your reach place them in the hands of God, faith is a beautiful gentle healing power, never forget that.

  - rene martin guzman juarez

• September 25, 2007 4:57 p.m.

  Great site - great suggestions. Mine are: (a) Read the bible and pray. Not for the primary motive of beating stress, but God teaches us how live "anxiety free". Check out what Jesus said about the worries of this life! (b) I find even just a brisk half hour walk and a few bodyweight strength exercises helpful. (c) Since greatly improving my diet (lots of veggies, fruit, legumes, nuts, olive oil, fish) - I have noticed MANY benefits (d) I find that taking time out for a deep breathing session helps. Recommended is (apparently) 10 breaths 3 times a day on a 1:4:2 pattern (hold your breath 4 times longer than you inhaled, exhale 2 times longer than you inhaled). Regardless of the method - deep breathing is (I have read) the best/quickest way of ALKALISING your blood. It has a great energising impact. PLUS - it gives you a few minutes of meditation/think pleasant thoughts "you" time! (e) Regular healthy sleeping patterns help a lot too. I need to work on time ma

  - Steve - Australia

• September 25, 2007 4:45 p.m.

  on a first column the patient writes down all and each of her problems, even tiny ones, a long list is almost sure, I tell them to emtpy the "Backpack" in that list, when you are sure to have done so, and exhausted your self doing it, pass to a second column the problems written in the first column that do have a solution, a shorter list will emerge, check this out, once sure, pass to a third column the problems that are written in the second column whose solution is in your hands and within a reasonable lapse of time, and voilà you did it, you emptied your bag, sorted it out, and now have a working list,

  - rene martin guzman juarez

• September 25, 2007 4:31 p.m.

  Try letting God handle your stress. It works, and I do it all the time. Just talk to him and let him deal with the bad, ugly and unbearable. Then pet your dog, or go for a short walk. Get all of those brain waves working again. If walking is painful, start slow, one block at a time. But make yourself go. It gets easier as time goes by. My dogs get me up, out and de-stressed. I thank God daily for bringing them into my life.

  - Debi

• September 25, 2007 4:30 p.m.

  which in turn stresses even more the poor patient, and it can spiral down indeed¡¡, many factors do contribute to this, but usually the patients and I have a long chat, the usefulness of stress under certain situations is explained, the grinding of teeth beng a signal of involuntary abuse of oneself by oneself, the "peace stealers", television being number one, the need to have once in a forthnight a sit down with familiy detect problemas and notate proposed solutions, keep the common goals alive, and also very useful, a session alone with a cardboard and a crayon

  - rene martin guzman juarez

• September 25, 2007 4:19 p.m.

  My doctor said I'd still use some narcotics and I will have a temporary session to make sure it will work for me and they want my depression controlled before they do it. I take meds for depression and anxiety I have lost contact with most of my friends,I can't work, I tried a home business but it failed.My husband trys 2 keep up with everything and I feel so guilty for it.I wish we were twenty instead of almost fifty.I can't even sleep in bed so I sleep in a recliner next to it.I worked a full day,a couple hours in the yard and cook and clean and I loved every bit of it.I found most it therapeutic and now nothing.I don't knit or anything like that. I use to do ceramics but now I can't even find greenware.On top of all this I had a hysterectomy and had to hire an attorney to fight the insurance companies for me.It really hurts knowing the company does not care about anything but keeping money.I feel like I vented a lot. I am up for any suggestions and thanks to those of you that read

  - Mag

• September 25, 2007 4:18 p.m.

  I live paycheck to paycheck and am overrun with stray cats. They have been getting sick. I am under severe stress because I can't turn away a needy animal and I am way over my head with money problems. Any suggestions?

  - Rosemary