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• May 7, 2011 12:42 p.m.

  I'm not a Veteran but a fam. member of not 1 but 2 vets. Desert Storm and OIF. I unknowingly became a victim of PTSD during desert storm, but didn't know it. I worked for Red Cross and cared for my 3 children while their father was away on duty at another base. He started an affair on me there. It ultimately destroyed our family and our children. This was 1990. Since we were stationed overseas in Germany, we were able to watch the war on t.v. I've been asked "why didn't you turn the t.v. off"? I think because of the fascination of a war on t.v. (plus we didn't have any other channels). I never dreamed 10 years later, my youngest child, my only son, would be there finishing up the job that he watched on t.v. as a little boy. Reading those Red cross messages, dealing with the loss of my marriage became the "tip of the iceberg". I was involved in a car accident in 1998 which psychologically, disabled me permanently and physically. There's nothing more than waiting for a letter from your son in a battle field on a torn piece of paper that said "Happy Mother's Day Mom" I love you. Yet being awakened up in the middle of the night with my son screaming "mom they're shooting at us!" All I could say was shoot back, he said, "I did". That was his first of 15 known kills. I went through the war with my son. Even though I wasn't physically there, I was. I had to be, to bring my one and only son home. He has PTSD and TIB. His 2 sisters and

  - Lynette

• May 6, 2011 2:55 a.m.

  I am not a war veteran, but I do suffer from PTSD. I was abused physically and sexually as a child, and then suffered countless abuses as an adult, including rape and being held with a knife to my neck by a crazed boyfriend that also held me hostage in my own apartment. My therapist calls this 'sitting duck syndrome'. People who were severely abused as children often face repeated abuse as an adult. For years I did not want therapy, because the last thing I ever wanted to do was talk about these incidents, I wanted to shove them into some dark corner of my mind, so I could go on with my life. I finally did go to therapy, but it took my therapist over 5 years to realize that I was suffering from PTSD. I quit going to him and a few years later, I decided to try a therapist who specializes in PTSD. This therapist does EMDR therapy. It is like a god-send. EMDR allows you to actually process the difficult memories and re-program your brain. I still get symptoms, but better. Nightmares are much improved as are panic attacks and flashbacks. I highly recommend finding a therapist with real experience in treating PTSD and who can administer EMDR therapy. Acupuncture also helped me, but as an adjunct therapy to deal with the stress. It is really scary to open up about all this trauma, it ain't easy, but it works. I know the loss of self-esteem and painful memories makes it hard to seek treatment. I am 43 and finally on the road to recovery. Good luck to all of you.

  - Lisa

• April 14, 2011 8:49 a.m.

  My daughter advised a fellow student/friend that she was going to commit suicide (she was around 16 or 17 years old). Her friend told the High School officials; this is how she got help. We sent our daughter to a physical therapist. She was diagnosed with PTSD. The therapist said that the PTSD was due to "severe" bullying in Junior High School. Many, many students bullied her. The school did not help; the teachers did not help. This was before the incident at Columbine, so I guess at that time the schools ignored bullying and did not aggressively go after the bullies. Bullies are always protected by their parents to a very HIGH DEGREE. I did not realize how severe the bullying was until our family moved to another part of the state: I was then told by her that she was threatened with rape, threatened with death. She was punched, hit, and worse on a daily basis . . . not by one or ten students, but many students. Severe bullying changes your life regarding the choices you make for your future. My story about my daughter is too long. So I will end it by telling you that going to a doctor helped tremendously. Ten years later, she is still on medication to prevent that terrible sadness that overwhelms her: depression. The thing about bullying is this: it can be done just because one student dislikes you, and then it becomes infectious within the school. It is not based upon what you look like, but its about power and bringing about fear.

  - Elizabeth

• April 9, 2011 1:52 p.m.

  I am a 60 year old daughter of a World War II POW. The man I called daddy I now believe had PTSD. All the signs were there. I had family members say he wasn't the same when he came back. At that time there was never a thing called PTSD. This man put his family thru hell. I still suffer the wrath of this illness. I have gone through a life time of therapist trying to understand why the man that was suppose to be my safe place, hated me. I was never good enough for him to love . My whole family is so messed up because of what we went thru.My dad died as a elderly man and he never admitted he was wrong in any way. It was his no good children.I loved him because he was my dad but I also hated him at the same time. When he died I was relived that the monster I knew as my daddy was gone. Ifinally feel safe. I am talking about a family secret. We were not to talk about any thing out side of the basic family or we were traders and became the family outcast.He would have the whole family turn on you. We did what ever he said. Mostlyl out of fear and all of us trying to make him proud of us. I am 60 yrs old and I sit here crying like a baby over something I had no control over. I know this will sound strange but I found relief in the PTSD. Maybe his mind was sick and he did care for me. I also have PTSD not from war, injury or stress. I was taught by the best MY DAD!!

  - Brenda

• March 19, 2011 7:47 a.m.

  I am married to a Vietnam vet who was diagnosed with PTSD about seven years ago. He has serious Agent Orange related health problems, including a rare form of cancer which eventually led to the amputation of one of his legs, prostate issues, and CHF that has resulted in several heart attacks and stents. When his psychologist moved away, he refused to continue treatment and has since decided that he knows more than any of the doctors and psychologists. His sister and I go to appointments with him so we can ensure that doctors know what is happening because he lies about his symptoms and behaviors. He is also self medicating with alcohol and marijuana, skipping doses of antidepressants, isolating himself, becoming very controlling and manipulative, and exhibiting rages. During the last rage, he was very verbally abusive and threatened suicide and homicide. I sought help and now keep the suicide hotline number handy. I am becoming depressed, worn out, and angry myself so I entered counseling this past week. Sadly, the VA will not counsel wives of vets who will not themselves seek counseling. I'm afraid that unless he seeks help he will eventually self destruct. I love him and have done everything I can think of to help, but he needs to help himself and I can't make him do it. What do I do next?

  - JP

• March 14, 2011 5:05 p.m.

  Ptsd; to me is like having a cavity (tooth) the pain never goes away, sure you can hide it and no amount of medications will heal it.I,m a Viet Nam vet and I struggle with life every day recalling what a human being is capable of doing to another individual.Their is a God and He hears our prayers, but on His timetable, not ours.Peace and prayers to each and eeryone of you,

  - Bob

• March 12, 2011 9:35 p.m.

  My son served in Iraq and he has PTSD bad . At first he would have nightmares and go into these blank states and actually think he was at the combat scene . After a month of this he seeked help at The VAH and was prescribed meds which has did little . He has went to alcohol and anger to try to cope . We had him committed today and I hope he finds a relief from this.

  - Debbie

• March 12, 2011 7:25 p.m.

  I remember as a child hearing about the Veitnam War...I asked myself if I could take the life of another...somehow I knew I would/could yet I knew I would never come back the same person...forever changed...When we cross the line of questioning the value of a human life...we loose our sanity and innoscence...

  - Connie

• March 2, 2011 12:46 a.m.

  I think your colleagues at VA would be much more effective in treating veterans with PTSD once they are able to acknowledge the disorder. I don't know if this problem is an epidemic of PA (physicians arrogance) or a policy of the VA but the problem is very real. there is also a problem with the numbers considering the number of non combat cases stemming from service member who are waiting to go and have contact with those who have returned

  - Charles

• January 11, 2011 9:36 p.m.

  I am writing this regarding our son. He spent a year in Iraq and not once has he spoken about it. My husband and I worry he has PTSD. He cries out in his sleep and has a serious drug and alchol problem. He was at a drug work farm for a year and when he returned he was back to the person we knew. He moved in with us until he could get back on his feet. He went back to school, received his electrical license. This lasted 3 months and one day he was back doing exactly what he was doing prior to the Drug work farm. He is now in some serious trouble and his only help is a public defender that doesn't seem to really care. Is there any attorney or organization in the Oklahoma City area that could possibly help. My husband and I don't know what to do. We want to help him but not by enabling him to contintue doing what he is doing. He needs help and we don't know where to go.

  - Sue

• January 2, 2011 1:38 a.m.

  It took me a long time to figure out that the nightmares, the anger, the fatigue and inability to maintain any type of daily routine without a blow up was actually PTSD. I was going to our VA, but their diagnosis was slow. Seemeed like all they wanted to do was give me lots of meds that left me all drugged up. I will admit that I was at the end of my rope when I found this place that trained dogs for veterans. They train some dog to be Service Dogs for those with physical dissabilities. Others they train to partner with veterans with PTSD. I have always had a dog for a pet, but this dog has changed my life. Since I have to walk him every day, I get out. Since he is allowed to go with me in public I am not afraid to go to the stores. My dog is with me 24/7. He sleeps in my room and when the nightmares start he will get up in bed with me and actaully wake me up. I would encourage anyone out there to check out organizations that train Service Dogs and see if it is the right choice for you. I can honestly say that having my SD in my life, has changed my life.

  - Lacy

• December 23, 2010 2:56 a.m.

  My son was in a accident Gas can blew up in hand and burned over 20 per cent of body. Left arm graphed, in Burn Center almost 20 days. Intubated first 5 days before graph surgery. That was a April 2009. He is 26 college graduate. Was working at the time of accident. Since recovering physically he has had difficulty moving on with his life. One year after accident moved out of our house on own holding down a minimal job. He is constantly sick with sinusitus, has trouble sleeping, drinking enough to have hangovers, not pursuing any kind of career. Right now he is leaving on own with roommate but has trouble paying his part of bills with minimal pay from job. He is not the same son we knew before accident. No motivation to move on with life, physically sick a lot, avoids us excepts when he needs money has mentioned to me sleep patterns changed periodically. Does not really take care of himself, does not seem to care. Is he possibly suffering from PTSD?

  - Laura

• December 18, 2010 3:33 p.m.

  It's good to see that I'm not alone. My husband was in the Army, Panama, Operation Just Cause. After a major illness 2years ago he was no longer able to make the memories go away. He has PTSD diagnosed this year. That explained lots of things over the years. Everyone just thought he was a real hard butt or just had anger issues, stuff like that. We are civilians & have been for several years. He did not want to go to the VA for treatment. Even admitting that he needed treatment was a real big step. Now we are both in treatment. I went through the list of providers that we have & after many phone calls found several counselors that took early retirement from the VA & now have private practice, but still consult with the VA on various issues. Due to the things we are working on together as well as by ourselves we have learned that there is secondary PTSD it can be suffered by spouses of Vets & others who are helping their loved one work through things. Our lives have been ever changing these days. We communicates better & the flashbacks don't happen as often. Part of my treatment is learning ways to bring him back from a flashback & ways to assist in preventing them. I still never know what each day may hold in store but things are better than they were. Hope my story helps someone out there.

  - Gloria

• December 18, 2010 12:04 a.m.

  I am also suffing from PTSD but I was Not in the Military. I was working in the U.S.A. at a Convienent Store. I got Helded up at Gunpoint. I tried My Very Best to Deal with what Happened to Me. No Counseling at that Time. I Tranfered to another Store in My Town. I thought that would Help. It Did Not. A Lady came in and she told Me what had happened to Her. She told Me were to go and who to see to get Help. That was The Very Best Thing I Done For Myself. Please get Help You are Very Special to Alot of People. It's Not Your Fault. You were doing what was Right. Please do what is right for You and Get Counseling. God Loves You All and He wants what's Best for Us.

  - Ann

• December 17, 2010 10:42 a.m.

  For the Marines: www.dstressline.com COMPLETELY confidential. It is staffed by Marines, Corpsmans and counselours. They also set up appointments as needed. See if this helps. The Commadant had to choose between knowledge of what was going on with his Marines or them getting REAL help. He chose to take care of his marines health.

  - KUJO

• December 13, 2010 8:48 p.m.

  I can imagine,or maby not get even close to the horror some of our guys and girls go through.I witness my brother so deep in his shame,only to snap out of it a wild defence of himself.Please excuse me if this makes no sence,but what I see makes no sence either.I dont know how to explain it. My brother came home from his vietnam a diffrent person,not my brother anymoor.His exwives all three of them tell me the same thing,they know when he's going on that tripp that takes him back to the place that turns him into a ball of nerves or (jitters) he wont talk about it,but he'll get in that bed,hug the wall sigh,cry himself to sleep.He never says anything about it.BUT I KNOW! now im starting to cry. big Joe

  - joe

• December 13, 2010 12:15 p.m.

  Also, I know you cannot say anything to your office about having PTSD, I get that. But you still need the help right? Tell them something else, like you are having marital problems (technically you are) and your wife wants to go to counseling. They'll buy that and you get the help you need. If you cannot let me know. I'll find someone for you through the VA, quietly. Cannot keep this pinned up and need to let it go somehow without hurting (emotionally) your family. Women (I know) are mending creatures, they want to fix everything non-tactile. When your better half cannot help you, it tears her up. Yep, she does not get it either, got it. Just remember, there are ways to talk to someone without compromising your job or having your certifications pulled.

  - KUJO- to Jayson

• December 13, 2010 12:05 p.m.

  To Jayson. This is a female MP named KUJO. I was in Iraq for almost a year. Lost friends, saw splattered kid brains on trucks, tons of time sitting around in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do but create problems in my head. Broke down a couple doors, heard voices in my head at night, slept with my gun loaded underneath me. For the most part, I kept it together when I got back. Pops and snaps still make me jump, crowds annoy me, very angry all together. Ended up having a shorter fuse on my kids, my husband (he had never been). Went back to civilian law enforcement and said nothing. Cannot, they would take my gun (and some of my paycheck!) I stewed in my own hell inside my head. I found two things have worked for me (driving real fast is not one of them.) (1) A damn good (REAL) kung-fu master that taught me to restructure my anger into something productive. (2) Alone time with a fellow veteran to walk-run-fight-shoot-camp it off. (Drill instructor turned civilian cop helped out, bled all the piss and vinegar out of me with working out.) I have thought about volunteering to help others, but it will help you as well. (Basically, talking to other veterans will give you kudos from your office, builds up volunteer points for promotions but really helps you out, man.) Trust me or write back-Respectfully KUJO

  - KUJO

• November 30, 2010 1:30 p.m.

  My husband is a Vietnam Vet. We have two teenagers living at home and the four of us fight in Vietnam pretty much daily. I thank all of you for sharing your posts because up until now this chaos has been a "family secret" to never be uttered from our lips. We are all exhausted and confused. I have run into many of the same obstacles in getting all of us help and it seems that maybe we (all of the service members and/or families of service members) need to rally together and support each other. I wish I did have the answere to make the nightmares finally end for all of us, but I don't. I just know one thing at the end of the day I fight a good fight everyday and I will never give up. I am there for all of you that I promise. I would be there to hug each and everyone of you in person, but he gets very angry if I stray to far so I do not leave the house very often. BIGGGGG HUGGGGS to all!!!!!!!!!!!!

  - Shelly

• November 17, 2010 6:47 p.m.

  I served as an infantryman with the 101st airborne, I have recieved two purple hearts and I am now a police officer. I know I have severe ptsd however I am afraid if I reach out for help I will be forced to leave my carrer. I guess it is selfish of me because my decision not to seek help is only hurting my wife and kids. I do not become physically violent with my family, however my numbness, and keeping to myself is hurting them. My wife gets upset and becomes very angry with me because I will not talk to her about what is wrong. What she does not realise is its not just that she would not understand and she does not need to hear the groosome stories, its that I flat out just dont want to talk about it. I have thrown all those memories into a closet and shut the door. Sometimes that door comes open and i have to shove everythimg back in. Life is really begginning to suck, I am not too sure I can keep all this up

  - Jayson

• November 13, 2010 4:13 p.m.

  I have been suffering with PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, Anxiety/Panic Disorder, OCPD, Disassociative Disorder for 33 years. Guess what? I am a female DAV who served on a SAC base at the end of the Vietnam War. Always combat ready because I was a B52 mechanic. Constant war games. One war game, one of our B52's didn't get all the way up, tipped to the left, caught the left wing on the ground and crashed. Right before our very eyes. The crew members burned beyond recognition. Tailgunner running through the field on fire. Total shock. I went numb, unmoving, in a daze. I will never be the same again. Now my children and husband have the same diagnosis in less form but still frightening to them. My girls have constant panic attacks. After fighting the VA for 30 years, they finally agreed that yes, a noncombat female veteran can suffer from PTSD. The nightmares are horrible. Constant vigilance. Short fuse. Feelings of not being loved or wanted. Constant thoughts of running away or suicide. Meds help but don't cure. There isn't one.

  - Sugar

• November 4, 2010 9:39 a.m.

  My husband served two terms in Iraq as a combat medic. He was on a FOB in the area of Mozul and Takrit during the height of the fighting in 2004-2006. He came back, angry, confused, wounded and unable to cope with even the most simple tasks of the day. He temper was vile and unprovoked. He could not drive a car without speeding by it. He would not sit in a reataurant near the window.. He was 48 when he was deployed.. and now at 55 we are still living with the dreams, noises and the odors that trigger memories of death, loss and feelings that he could have saved more. As his wife and a nurse, I went after the VA with a vengence... took on the AG, the state Attny General and hired a Jag Attny to fight for his medical care and phychiatric treatment. I am still fighting to win and have the man I married back in my life. I loved him before, during and after.. It is this committment that will force the VA to refocus their energy and bring their care up to contemproary standard.

  - Geri

• October 11, 2010 9:49 p.m.

  My husband was in the Navy for 4 years and did three tours on the WOT. He came back wen to the VA got told he had PTSD, then the VA denied his claimed because he couldn't remember dates! He was on mission, he was told what to do! I am like you got medals, ribbions pictures the mititary documents everything then they denied him. Yeah he is pissed I am pissed. He served his Country and now his Country is letting him down. He is lucky I am crazy about him because I am working getting him help, and I have a good job that is helping me pay for school. I am sure it isn't the VA fault... they are unstaffed and overwhelled by the claims that come in everyday day after day. It is just disppointing.My husband should be proud for serving in the military but all he feels is it ruined his life. I am not give on him even if feels like his Country let him which they have!

  - MARIE

• October 2, 2010 12:21 a.m.

  My husband has been diagnosed/treated at the VA for several years now as a Nam Veteran. His symptoms become more exagerated and extreme as the years move on and Meds. seem only to keep the worst of it at bay. After years of trial and error with treatments and medications there doesn't seem much hope at this point. I think both of us are pretty lost as far as what to do and where to go next. He has tried personal therapy, with the VA, and found no help through it. I wish the VA would offer help to the wives even when the vets won't participate...because I could sure use some help coping with this! A therapist, support group...Something?! I can't be the only family member that needs help in this area. I have watched him struggle for so long, ridden through the ups and downs, the moods swings and fits of rage and irrational behavior. It's heart breaking, frightening, and exhausting. After all these years, all the damaged Veterans, from all the wars...how is it possible that no one has any idea how to help...not real help.

  - Kathy

• September 26, 2010 3:36 p.m.

  As s Nam Vet I have had many suicide thoughts. I don't know how to deal with this any more, good bye Vets, I hope you get help...

  - Mike