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  • Housecall
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continued:

Depression: Supporting a family member or friend with depression

Provide support

You can provide support and encouragement in a number of ways.

  • Listen. Let your family member or friend know that you want to understand how he or she feels and that you're willing to listen. Because of the depression, your loved one may not have the energy or inclination to discuss his or her symptoms. So when he or she is interested in talking, listen carefully but avoid giving advice or opinions — responses that may discourage further conversation. Never disparage feelings your friend or family member expresses.
  • Give positive reinforcement. Depression can make people feel worthless. They may judge themselves harshly and find fault with everything about themselves, from their appearance to their job performance to their thoughts and feelings. You can remind your loved one about his or her positive qualities and how much he or she means to you and others.
  • Encourage consistent disease management. If your friend or family member is in treatment for depression, help him or her remember to take prescribed medications and to attend therapy appointments.
  • Help create a low-stress environment. A regular routine and an organized environment can minimize stress and help a person with depression feel more in control. You can help a family member or friend make a schedule for meals, medication, exercise, sleep and household chores. You might also help create a system to organize things that can easily become cluttered or chaotic, such as bills, laundry, homework or work files.
  • Offer help. Your friend or family member may not be able to take care of certain tasks very well. Give suggestions about specific tasks you would be willing to do, such as balancing a checkbook, making a grocery list or mowing the lawn. Or ask if there is a particular task that you could take on.
  • Make plans together. Depression steals away motivation, energy and interest. Ask your loved one to join you on a walk, see a movie with you, or work with you on a hobby or other activity he or she previously enjoyed. Don't try to force him or her into doing something.

Understand suicide risk

People with depression are at an increased risk of committing suicide. If you believe that a friend or family member is suicidal, you should:

  • Talk to the person about your concern. Ask if he or she has been thinking about committing suicide or has a plan for how to commit suicide. Having an actual plan indicates a higher likelihood of attempting suicide.
  • Call 911 or your local emergency medical number, a suicide crisis hotline, or the person's therapist.
  • Don't leave the person alone.

You can prepare yourself for the possibility that a friend or family member may at some time feel suicidal. If the person with depression lives in your home, you can make it a safer place — or at least a less likely place to attempt suicide. Either remove or lock up firearms, other weapons and medications.

You should also stay alert for common warning signs of suicide:

  • Talking about suicide, including making such statements as "I'm going to kill myself," "I wish I were dead" or "I wish I hadn't been born"
  • Securing the means to commit suicide, such as getting a gun or stockpiling pills
  • Withdrawing from social contact and wanting to be left alone
  • Dramatic mood swings, such as being emotionally high one day and deeply discouraged the next
  • Being preoccupied with death, dying or violence
  • Feeling trapped or hopeless about a situation
  • Increased use of alcohol or drugs
  • Changing normal routine, including eating or sleeping patterns
  • Engaging in risky or self-destructive behavior, such as using drugs or driving recklessly
  • Giving away belongings or getting affairs in order
  • Saying goodbye to people as if they won't be seen again
  • Developing personality changes, such as becoming very outgoing after being shy

Take care of yourself

Supporting someone with depression isn't easy. You may find yourself stressed, and you may even begin to think that things won't improve. It can be even more difficult if you have others to care for as well.

Share your feelings with a caregivers' support group or discuss the situation with a therapist, relative or confidante. See your doctor if you develop any problems that you think require medical attention.

And finally, remind yourself that with appropriate treatment, most people with depression do improve.

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MH00016

May 30, 2008

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