Free
E-newsletter
Subscribe to Housecall
Our weekly general interest
e-newsletter keeps you up to date
on a wide variety of health topics.
Mayo Clinic Housecall
Stay up to date on the latest health information.
What you get
- Free weekly e-newsletter
- Mayo Clinic expertise
- Recipes, tools and other helpful information
- We do not share your e-mail address
Preparing for your appointment
By Mayo Clinic staffIf you have ongoing sexual difficulties, such as low desire or lack of arousal, and it distresses you, make an appointment with your doctor. You may feel embarrassed to talk about sex with your doctor, but this topic is perfectly appropriate. A satisfying sex life is important to a woman's well-being at every age and stage of life.
You may have a treatable, underlying condition, or you may benefit from lifestyle changes, therapy or a combination of treatments. Your primary doctor may diagnose and treat the problem or refer you to a specialist.
Here's some information to help you prepare for your appointment, and what to expect from your doctor.
What you can do
Gather information about:
- Your symptoms. Take note of any sexual difficulties you're having, including when and how often you usually experience them.
- Your sexual history. Your doctor likely will ask about your relationships and experiences since you first became sexually active. He or she also may ask about any history of sexual trauma or abuse.
- Your medical history. Write down any medical conditions with which you've been diagnosed, including mental health conditions. Note the names and strengths of medications you take or have recently taken, including prescription and over-the-counter drugs.
- Questions to ask your doctor. Create a list of questions in advance to make the most of your time with your doctor.
Basic questions to ask your doctor
Consider asking your doctor questions such as:
- What may be causing my sexual difficulties?
- Do I need any medical tests?
- What treatment approach do you recommend?
- If you're prescribing medication, are there any possible side effects?
- How much improvement can I reasonably expect with treatment?
- Are there any lifestyle changes or self-care steps that may help me?
- Do you recommend therapy?
- Should my partner be involved in treatment?
- Do you have any printed material that I can have? What websites do you recommend?
Don't hesitate to ask more questions during your appointment as they occur to you.
What to expect from your doctor
Your doctor may ask a number of personal questions and may want to include your partner in the interview. To help determine the cause of your problem and the best course of treatment, be ready to answer questions such as:
- What problems are you currently experiencing?
- How much do these problems bother you?
- How satisfied are you with your current relationship?
- When did you first become sexually active?
- Do you become aroused during sexual interactions with your partner?
- Do you experience orgasm?
- If you've had orgasms in the past, what were the circumstances?
- Do you have pain with intercourse?
- Are you using any form of birth control? If yes, what form?
- What medications are you taking, including prescription and over-the-counter drugs as well as vitamins and supplements?
- Do you use alcohol or recreational drugs? How much?
- Have you ever had surgery that involved your reproductive system?
- Have you been diagnosed with any other medical conditions, including mental health conditions?
- Have you ever been the victim of sexual violence?
What you can do in the meantime
Keep the lines of communication open with your partner. Be honest about your dissatisfaction or the problem you're experiencing. Consider alternatives for intimacy and engage in sexual activities that are relaxing and rewarding for both of you. In this way, you can be intimate and ease the stress of the situation.
- Longo DL, et al. Harrison's Online. 18th ed. New York, N.Y.: The McGraw-Hill Companies; 2012. http://www.accessmedicine.com/resourceTOC.aspx?resourceID=4. Accessed Aug. 20, 2012.
- Brotto LA, et al. Women's sexual desire and arousal disorders. Journal of Sexual Medicine. 2010;7:586.
- Shifren JL. Sexual dysfunction in women: Epidemiology, risk factors, and evaluation. http://www.uptodate.com/index. Accessed Aug. 20, 2012.
- Shifren JL. Sexual dysfunction in women: Management. http://www.uptodate.com/index. Accessed Aug. 20, 2012.
- Lentz GM, et al. Comprehensive Gynecology. 6th ed. Philadelphia, Pa.: Mosby Elsevier; 2012. http://www.mdconsult.com/books/linkTo?type=bookPage&isbn=978-0-323-06986-1&eid=4-u1.0-B978-0-323-06986-1..C2009-0-48752-X--TOP. Accessed Aug. 23, 2012.
- Clayton AH, et al. Female sexual dysfunction. Psychiatric Clinics of North America. 2010;33:323.
- Schoen C, et al. Sildenafil citrate for female sexual arousal disorder: A future possibility? Nature Reviews Urology. 2009;6:216.
- Nurnberg HG, et al. Sildenafil treatment of women with antidepressant-associated sexual dysfunction. Journal of the American Medical Association. 2008;300:395.
- Nijland EA, et al. Tibolone and transdermal E2/NETA for the treatment of female sexual dysfunction in naturally menopausal women. Journal of Sexual Medicine. 2008;5:646.
- Kammerer-Doak D, et al. Female sexual function and dysfunction. Obstetrics and Gynecology Clinics of North America. 2008;35:169.
- Brotto LA, et al. A mindfulness-based group psychoeducational intervention targeting sexual arousal disorder in women. Journal of Sexual Medicine. 2008;5:1646.
- Brotto LA, et al. Eastern approaches for enhancing women's sexuality: Mindfulness, acupuncture, and yoga. Journal of Sexual Medicine. 2008;5:2741.
- Swanson JB (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn. Sept. 11, 2012.
Find Mayo Clinic on