- With Mayo Clinic emeritus consultant
Jay L. Hoecker, M.D.
read biographyclose windowBiography of
Jay L. Hoecker, M.D.
Jay L. Hoecker, M.D.
Dr. Jay Hoecker, an emeritus consultant in the Department of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine, brings valuable expertise to MayoClinic.com in general and primary care pediatrics. He has a particular interest in infectious diseases of children.
Dr. Hoecker, a Fort Worth, Texas, native, is certified as a pediatrician by the American Board of Pediatrics and is a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics. He was trained at Washington University's St. Louis Children's Hospital, and in infectious diseases at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. He has been with Mayo Clinic since 1989.
"The World Wide Web is revolutionizing the availability and distribution of information, including health information about children and families," Dr. Hoecker says. "The evolution of the Web has included greater safety, privacy and accuracy over time, making the quality and access to children's health information immediate, practical and useful. I am happy to be a part of this service to patients from a trusted name in medicine, to use and foster all the good the Web has to offer children and their families."
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Question
Gender identity: A possible concern for preschoolers?
My daughter is 4. She seems to have an attraction to male clothes, toys and friends. She's always saying, "I'm a boy." Even when she plays with her older sister, she insists on playing a male role — male doctor, male farmer, father. Is this something to be concerned about?
Answer
from Jay L. Hoecker, M.D.
By age 2 or 3, most children establish a clear gender identity. Often, this understanding of being a boy or a girl is consistent with the child's anatomical sex — but not always. In fact, the type of behavior you describe is fairly common for a 4-year-old. There's no need to be concerned about your daughter preferring stereotypically male clothes or toys. Likewise, it isn't worrisome if a young boy likes to play with dolls or other traditionally feminine toys. Simply support and encourage your daughter in her interests and preferences. Avoid judging her, and don't feel guilty or embarrassed by her behavior.
If your daughter seems to struggle with her gender identity as she enters adolescence, you might consider speaking with her doctor, a school counselor or a mental health provider — especially if your daughter seems distressed by the fact that she's female. Together, you can determine how to address your daughter's gender-identity concerns. Individual or family counseling may be helpful.
Next questionFruit juice: Is it good or bad for kids?
- Hoecker JL (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn. July 29, 2008.
- Answers to your questions about transgender individuals and gender identity. American Psychological Association. http://www.apa.org/topics/transgender.html. Accessed Sept. 25, 2008.
