End-of-life care (5)
- End of life: Caring for a dying loved one
- Hospice care: Comforting the terminally ill
- Terminal illness: Supporting a terminally ill loved one
- see all in End-of-life care
Grief (8)
- Suicide grief: Healing after a loved one's suicide
- Dealing with grief: Confronting painful emotions
- Grief: Coping with reminders after a loss
- see all in Grief
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Terminal illness: Supporting a terminally ill loved one
What else can I do for my loved one?
You can encourage your loved one to talk about his or her life. For instance, ask your loved one to talk about how he or she met his or her mate. You may be amazed at the stories your loved one has to share. Consider recording your conversations as a way of honoring the memory of your loved one.
Is it important to keep a vigil by my loved one when he or she is near death?
Keeping a vigil by your loved one before his or her death can be a sacred experience. Sitting by your loved one's side — even if you feel helpless or powerless — can give your loved one both strength and comfort. Keeping a vigil can also help you ensure that your loved one's pain and symptoms are addressed and that he or she has access to spiritual resources.
While spending time with your loved one, remember to touch him or her. There's nothing more reassuring than touch. You can massage lotion into your loved one's hands or feet or simply rub his or her head. Talking about memories can also help affirm that your loved one's life mattered and that he or she will be remembered.
Keep in mind, however, that keeping a vigil can be exhausting. If you choose to keep a vigil, be sure to take breaks, drink plenty of fluids, eat balanced meals and accept support from others.
Also, don't expect that you'll be at your loved one's side when he or she dies. The timing of your loved one's death is beyond your control.
Is it appropriate to tell your loved one that it's all right to let go?
Sometimes it may appear that your loved one is having trouble letting go. If you think your loved one is hanging on for your sake, it's OK to say that you'll be all right and that he or she can let go.
What advice do you have for people who are grieving?
Grief is a natural response to loving and feeling loss that often comes in waves. Emotions can sometimes feel overwhelming, making even simple tasks difficult. This is normal. It doesn't mean that you won't be able to function for the rest of your life. Right now you need to grieve. Keep in mind that grief doesn't necessarily begin when your loved one dies. The grieving process can begin as your loved one's illness progresses or normal roles change.
If you're concerned that you're unable to stop grieving and it's affecting your ability to function, consider seeking professional help.
What do you tell people who are struggling with guilt?
After your loved one dies, you may question whether you did enough or said the right things. Guilt is a normal part of grieving. Often, we come to peace and guilt gradually fades. If you're having trouble dealing with guilt, consider talking to someone who can help you work through your feelings.
Previous page(2 of 2)
- End-of-life choices: Holding on and letting go. Family Caregiver Alliance. http://www.caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/content_node.jsp?nodeid=400. Accessed Jan. 7, 2010.
- Grief and loss. Family Caregiver Alliance. http://www.caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/content_node.jsp?nodeid=404. Accessed Jan. 7, 2010.
- Providing care: Comfort care. National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization. http://www.caringinfo.org/CaringForSomeone/ProvidingCare/ComfortCare.htm. Accessed Jan. 7, 2010.
- Advance care planning: Talking with others about their end-of-life wishes. http://www.caringinfo.org/CaringForSomeone/AdvanceCarePlanning/TalkingWithOthersAboutTheirEndOfLifeWishes.htm. Accessed Jan. 7, 2010.
- Offering spiritual support for family and friends. National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization. http://www.caringinfo.org/UserFiles/File/faith_brochure.pdf. Accessed Jan. 7, 2010.
- Puchalski CM, et al. Religion, spirituality, and end of life care. http://www.uptodate.com/home/index.html. Accessed Jan. 8, 2010.
- Block SD. Grief and bereavement. http://www.uptodate.com/home/index.html. Accessed Jan. 8, 2010.
- Rosenblatt R, et al. Psychosocial issues at the end of life. http://www.uptodate.com/home/index.html. Accessed Jan. 8, 2010.
- Loomis B. End-of-life issues: Difficult decisions and dealing with grief. Nursing Clinics of North America. 2009;44:223.
- Moynihan TJ (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn. Jan. 17, 2010.
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