Staying healthy (23)
- Vaccines for adults: Which do you need?
- Medical history: Compiling your medical family tree
- Hand-washing: Do's and don'ts
- see all in Staying healthy
Dental care (7)
- Oral health: A window to your overall health
- Oral health: Brush up on dental care basics
- Calcium and calcium supplements: Achieving the right balance
- see all in Dental care
Skin care (15)
- Sunless tanning: A safe alternative to sunbathing
- Tattoos: Understand risks and precautions
- Piercings: How to prevent complications
- see all in Skin care
Nail care (1)
- Fingernails: Do's and don'ts for healthy nails
Eye care (9)
- Contact lenses: What to know before you buy
- Eye injury: Tips to protect vision
- Eye exam
- see all in Eye care
Sleep (7)
- Sleep aids: Understand over-the-counter options
- Sleep tips: 7 steps to better sleep
- Napping: Do's and don'ts for healthy adults
- see all in Sleep
Mental health (10)
- Mental health: What's normal, what's not
- Anger management: 10 tips to tame your temper
- Denial: When it helps, when it hurts
- see all in Mental health
Healthy relationships (9)
- Infidelity: Mending your marriage after an affair
- Domestic violence against men: Know the signs
- Domestic violence against women: Recognize patterns, seek help
- see all in Healthy relationships
Healthy at work (12)
- Workplace exercises: How to burn calories at work
- Desk stretches: How-to video collection
- Travel workout: Fitness tips for business travelers
- see all in Healthy at work
close window
Housecall Archives
About our e-newsletters
- Free e-newsletters
- Mayo Clinic expertise
- We do not share your e-mail address
Housecall, our weekly general-interest e-newsletter, keeps you up to date on a wide variety of health topics with timely, reliable, practical information, recipes, blogs, questions and answers with Mayo Clinic experts and more. Our biweekly topic-specific e-newsletters also include blogs, questions and answers with Mayo Clinic experts, and other useful information that will help you manage your health.
Housecall Archives
close window
Mayo Clinic Housecall
Stay up to date on the latest health information.
What you get
- Free weekly e-newsletter
- Mayo Clinic expertise
- Recipes, tools and other helpful information
- We do not share your e-mail address
continued:
Infidelity: Mending your marriage after an affair
Mending a broken marriage
Recovering from an affair is a difficult and ongoing process. Still, it's possible to survive an affair. Consider these steps to promote healing:
- Be accountable. If you were unfaithful, take responsibility for your actions. End the affair, and stop all interaction or communication with the person.
- Be honest. Once the initial shock is over, discuss what happened openly and honestly — no matter how difficult talking or hearing about the affair may be.
- Consider shared goals. It may take time to sort out what's happened and to consider whether your relationship can heal. If you share a goal of reconciliation, realize that recovering the marriage will take time, energy and commitment.
- Consult a marriage counselor. Seek help from a licensed counselor who's trained in marital therapy and experienced in dealing with infidelity. Marriage counseling can help you put the affair into perspective, identify issues that may have contributed to the affair, learn how to rebuild and strengthen your relationship, and avoid divorce — if that's the mutual goal.
- Restore trust. Go to counseling together to confirm your commitment to the marriage and to prevent secrecy from continuing to erode your relationship. If you were unfaithful, you may be anxious to put the affair behind you and move forward — but it's important to let your partner set his or her own timetable for recovery.
- Forgive. Infidelity is emotionally devastating. Forgiveness isn't likely to come quickly or easily, but it may become easier over time.
Moving forward
Not every marriage affected by infidelity can — or should — be saved. Sometimes too much damage has been done or reconciliation remains elusive. However, if both of you are committed to rebuilding your relationship and you have the strength and determination for the task, the reward may be a partnership that grows in depth, honesty and intimacy.
Previous page(2 of 2)
References
- Gordon KC, et al. Treating couples recovering from infidelity: An integrative approach. Journal of Clinical Psychology. 2005;61:1393.
- Snyder DK, at al. Treating infidelity: Clinical and ethical directions. Journal of Clinical Psychology. 2005;61:1453.
- AAMFT consumer update: Infidelity. American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. http://www.therapistlocator.net/families/Consumer_Updates/Infidelity.asp. Accessed Jan. 20, 2010.
- Hertlein KM, et al. Therapists' assessment and treatment of Internet infidelity cases. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. 2008;34:481.
- Whitty MT, et al. Emotional and sexual infidelity offline and in cyberspace. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. 2008;34:461.
- Atkins DC, et al. Infidelity and behavioral couple therapy: Optimism in the face of betrayal. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. 2005;73:144.
- Atkins DC, et al. Infidelity in couples seeking marital therapy. Journal of Family Psychology. 2005;19:470.
Find Mayo Clinic on