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Menstruation: Preparing your preteen for her period
Practical advice preferred
The biology of menstruation is important, but most girls are more interested in practical information about periods. Your daughter may want to know when it's going to happen, what it's going to feel like and what she'll need to do when the time comes.
- What is menstruation? Menstruation means a girl's body is physically capable of becoming pregnant. Each month, one of the ovaries releases an egg. This is called ovulation. At the same time, hormonal changes prepare the uterus for pregnancy. If ovulation takes place and the egg isn't fertilized, the lining of the uterus sheds through the vagina. This is a period.
- Does it hurt? Many girls have cramps, typically in the lower abdomen, when their periods begin. Cramps can be dull and achy or sharp and intense. Exercise, a heating pad or an over-the-counter pain reliever may help ease any discomfort.
- When will it happen? No one can tell exactly when a girl will get her first period. Typically, however, girls begin menstruating about two years after their breasts begin to develop. Many girls experience a thin, white vaginal discharge about one year before menstruation begins.
- What should I do? Explain how to use sanitary pads or tampons. Many girls are more comfortable starting with pads, but it's OK to use tampons right away. Remind your daughter that it may take some practice to get used to inserting tampons. Stock the bathroom with various types of sanitary products ahead of time. Encourage your daughter to experiment until she finds the product that works best for her.
- What if I'm at school? Encourage your daughter to carry a few pads or tampons in her backpack or purse, just in case. Many school bathrooms have coin-operated dispensers for these products. The school nurse also may have supplies.
- Will everyone know that I have my period? Assure your daughter that pads and tampons aren't visible through clothing. No one needs to know that she has her period.
- What if blood leaks onto my pants? Offer your daughter practical suggestions for covering up stains until she's able to change clothes, such as tying a sweatshirt around her waist. You might also encourage your daughter to wear dark pants or shorts when she has her period, just in case.
Everyone's different
Your daughter may worry that she's not normal if she starts having periods before — or after — friends her age do, or if her periods aren't like those of her friends. But menstruation varies with the individual. Some girls have periods that last two days, while others have periods that last more than a week. It can even vary this drastically from month to month in the same girl. The amount of blood lost each month can vary, too, usually from 4 to 12 teaspoons (about 20 to 60 milliliters).
It's also common for girls to have irregular periods for the first year or two. Some months might even go by without a period. Once your daughter's cycle settles down, teach her how to track her periods on a calendar. Eventually she may be able to predict when her periods will begin.
Schedule a medical checkup for your daughter if:
- Her periods last more than seven days
- She has menstrual cramps that aren't relieved by over-the-counter medications
- She's soaking more pads or tampons than usual
- She's missing school or other activities because of painful or heavy periods
- She goes three months without a period or suspects she may be pregnant
- She hasn't started menstruating by age 15
Change can be scary
The changes associated with puberty can be a little scary. Reassure your daughter that it's normal to feel apprehensive about menstruating, but it's nothing to be too worried about — and you're there to answer any questions she may have.
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- Menstruation and the menstrual cycle. The National Women's Health Information Center. http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/menstruation.cfm. Accessed May 5, 2009.
- Menstruation. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. http://www.acog.org/publications/patient_education/bp049.cfm. Accessed May 5, 2009.
- Parenting corner Q&A: Talking with your young child about sex. American Academy of Pediatrics. http://www.aap.org/publiced/BR_TalkSexChild.htm. Accessed May 5, 2009.
- Rees M. Presence or absence of menstruation in young girls. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences. 2006;1092:57.
- Sifuentes M. Menstrual disorders. In: Berkowitz CD. Berkowitz's Pediatrics: A Primary Care Approach. 3rd ed. Washington, D.C.: American Academy of Pediatrics; 2008:516.
- Gallenberg MM (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn. May 11, 2009.
