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Self-esteem check: Too low, too high or just right?
Common characteristics of low self-esteem
It's normal to go through times when you feel down about yourself. Everyone has times when they feel insecure about their abilities, accomplishments or appearance. However, when you feel bad about yourself in many areas of your life — and these feelings become long-standing — your self-esteem can suffer. Low self-esteem affects not only the way you feel but also the way you behave and interact with others.
How do you know if you think too little of yourself? You may have some of these characteristics of low self-esteem:
- Frequent negative self-talk, such as, "I'm a failure," or "I'll never amount to anything."
- Preoccupation with your flaws and weaknesses.
- Need for constant reassurance from others, which doesn't relieve your insecurity.
- Inability to accept compliments or positive feedback.
- Fear of failure, which holds you back from succeeding at work or school.
- Difficulty handling stressful situations.
Benefits of healthy self-esteem
When you value yourself and have good self-esteem, you feel secure and worthwhile and have generally positive relationships with others. You feel confident about your abilities and tend to do well at school or work. You're also open to learning and feedback, which can help you acquire and master new skills.
With healthy self-esteem you are:
- Less prone to feelings such as hopelessness, worthlessness, guilt and shame.
- Assertive in expressing your needs and opinions.
- Confident in your ability to make decisions.
- Able to form secure and honest relationships — and less likely to stay in unhealthy ones.
- Realistic in your expectations and less likely to be overcritical of yourself and others.
- More resilient and able to weather stress and setbacks.
- Less likely to develop mental health conditions, such as eating disorders, addictions, depression and anxiety.
Because self-esteem affects every facet of your life, having a healthy, realistic view of yourself is important. Remember, it's not about blowing your own horn. It's about learning to like and respect yourself, faults and all.
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- Barbara Woodward Lips Patient Education Center. Self-esteem. Rochester, Minn.: Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research; 2006.
- Building self-esteem: A self-help guide. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/publications/allpubs/SMA-3715/introduction.asp. Accessed May 4, 2009.
- Seaward BL. Managing Stress: Principles and Strategies for Health and Well-Being. 6th ed. Sudbury, Mass.: Jones and Bartlett Publishers; 2009:147.
- Karren KJ, et al. Mind, Body, Health: The Effects of Attitudes, Emotions and Relationships. 4th ed. San Francisco, Calif.: Pearson Education Inc.; 2010:449.
- Self esteem FAQ. National Association for Self-Esteem. http://www.self-esteem-nase.org/faq.php. Accessed May 4, 2009.
- Creagan ET (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn. May 27, 2009.
- Hall-Flavin DK (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn. May 27, 2009.
