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Lifestyle and home remedies
By Mayo Clinic staffInfants and toddlers have little sense of time and few memories of past experiences. When you leave, your child may not know when — or if — you'll return. To ease your child's separation anxiety:
- Practice goodbyes. Leave your child with a trusted caregiver for short periods of time. Eventually your child will learn that he or she can count on you to return.
- Time your departure carefully. Your child may be more likely to have a fit when you leave if he or she is tired, hungry or restless. If you can, leave when your child is fed and rested.
- Give your child something to look forward to. Discuss with your child something fun that will happen while you're gone.
- Don't prolong your goodbye. If you're leaving your child at home or in another familiar environment, give your child a gentle goodbye — then go. Encourage your child's caregiver to distract your child with a favorite toy or engage your child in a new activity right away. If you're leaving your child in a new environment, you might play with your child for a few minutes to ease the transition. When you leave, remind your child that you'll be back. Be specific about when you'll return, such as "after lunch" or "after your nap."
- Leave a reminder. Offer a special blanket, stuffed animal or other comforting object for your child to hold while you're gone.
- Keep the tears in perspective. Your child's tears are an attempt to keep you from leaving. When you're gone, the tears aren't likely to last long — especially once your child is engaged in a new activity.
Remember, separation anxiety is a rite of passage for infants and toddlers. Be patient as your child learns that it's OK to spend time away from you.
- Parenting corner Q&A: Separation anxiety. American Academy of Pediatrics. http://www.aap.org/publiced/BK0_SeparationAnxiety.htm. Accessed Feb. 2, 2010.
- Foye HR. Anticipatory guidance. In: McInerny TK, et al. American Academy of Pediatrics Textbook of Pediatric Care. Elk Grove Village, Ill.: American Academy of Pediatrics; 2009:207.
- Walker AM. Strange behavior. In: McInerny TK, et al. American Academy of Pediatrics Textbook of Pediatric Care. Elk Grove Village, Ill.: American Academy of Pediatrics; 2009:1742.
- The anxious child. American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/the_anxious_child. Accessed Feb. 3, 2010.
- Goldson E, et al. Child development and behavior. In: Hay WW, et al. Current Diagnosis and Treatment: Pediatrics. 19th ed. New York, N.Y.: McGraw-Hill; 2009. http://www.accessmedicine.com/content.aspx?aID=3397808&searchStr=separation+anxiety+disorder#3397808. Accessed Feb. 3, 2010.
- Feigelman S. The second year. In: Kliegman R. Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics. 18th ed. Philadelphia, Pa.: Saunders Elsevier; 2007. http://www.mdconsult.com/das/book/body/181657183-3/947832975/1608/22.html#4-u1.0-B978-1-4160-2450-7..50011-6--cesec12_185. Accessed Feb. 3, 2010.
- Hoecker JL (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn. Feb. 4, 2010.
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