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continued:

Sexual health and aging: Keep the passion alive

How can surgical procedures affect your sexual health?

Any surgical procedure that affects your pelvis and your central nervous system will have a temporary — but often significant — impact on your sexual response. The body, however, is resilient. Given time to heal and some loving attention, you can become sexually responsive again.

What do I need to know about aging and safe sex?

People of all ages must be vigilant about practicing safe sex. If you're having sex with a new or different partner, always use a condom. Also talk with your doctor about other ways to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases.

If you're in a long-term monogamous relationship and you've both tested negative for sexually transmitted diseases, you probably don't need to worry about protection. Until you know for sure, however, use a condom when you have sex.

What advice do you have for partners who have different libidos?

Differences in libidos are a major concern for many couples. Couples can become polarized — one person initiates contact while the other avoids it. If you mainly avoid sex, take charge of some engagement. If you usually initiate sex, tell your partner what you need. If you're worried about hurting your partner's feelings, speak about your own experience. Use "I" statements — such as "I think my body responds better when ... " — to open up to your partner.

If you're in a heterosexual relationship, try to understand how your partner's body works so that you can appreciate his or her desires. Seek ways to accommodate both your needs.

How can a couple adjust sexually when one partner becomes a caregiver to the other because of illness?

If you're ill, your sexuality may take a backseat to treating your illness. Pain, discomfort, medications or worry can overshadow your sexual desire. If you're the caregiver, your sexual desire might be compromised by the stress of dealing with the demands of caring for your partner.

As a caregiver, be aware of your changing role. Find a way to set aside the caregiver role from time to time, and be a partner instead — so that you can relax and feel nurtured by your partner. That way, you can enjoy a mutually satisfying sexual encounter.

Where can a couple find helpful resources about sexual health?

Look for books about sexuality during the second half of life. If you and your partner can't resolve a concern, consult a doctor. Your doctor may be able to provide useful suggestions or refer you to a specialist.

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References
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  2. Read J. Sexual problems associated with infertility, pregnancy and ageing. British Medical Journal. 2004;329:559.
  3. Sexuality in later life. National Institute on Aging. http://www.niapublications.org/agepages/PDFs/Sexuality_in_Later_Life.pdf. Accessed June 9, 2009.
  4. HIV, AIDS, and older people. National Institute on Aging. http://www.nia.nih.gov/NR/rdonlyres/406F1413-29E3-4944-A25C-16C98D86F097/12531/HIVpartsAPFINAL41309.pdf. Accessed June 9, 2009.
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  7. Szwabo PA. Counseling about sexuality in the older person. Clinics in Geriatric Medicine. 2003;19:595.
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  11. The menopause years. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. http://www.acog.org/publications/patient_education/bp047.cfm. Accessed June 10, 2009.
  12. Can we prevent aging? National Institute on Aging. http://www.nia.nih.gov/HealthInformation/Publications/preventaging.htm. Accessed June 10, 2009.
  13. Spark RF. Treatment of male sexual dysfunction. http://www.uptodate.com/home/index.html. Accessed June 10, 2009.
  14. Swanson JB (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn. June 16, 2009.
  15. Gallenberg MM (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn. June 16, 2009.

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