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Stress relief (19)
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Social support: Tap this tool to reduce stress
Adding to your support network
Ready for more friends, but not sure where to find them? Here are some ideas for extending your social network:
- Visit the park. Whether you bring your dog, your kids or your running shoes, you'll have something to talk about.
- Volunteer. Pick a cause that's important to you, and you're sure to meet others who share a similar value system.
- Ask a friend. Next time you meet a friend for lunch, ask him or her to bring along someone else.
- Go back to school. A local college or community education course puts you in contact with others who share similar hobbies or pursuits.
- Look online. In-person relationships may be best, but if you're living in a small town or living abroad, you might find added support through chat rooms or online bulletin boards. Many good sites exist for people going through stressful times, such as chronic illness, loss of a loved one, new baby, divorce and other life changes. Just be sure to stick to reputable sites, and be cautious about arranging person-to-person meetings.
A cautionary tale
Remember that the goal of extending your social support network is to reduce your stress level, not add to it. Here are some things to look out for when evaluating your relationships:
- Manage obligatory social ties. Some evidence shows that the negative consequences of maintaining obligatory relationships, such as with certain relatives or co-workers, can outweigh the benefits. Although you may not be able to cut ties with a nagging in-law, look for ways to manage the relationship so that it doesn't become a stressor for you.
- Beware of codependents. A support system with people who are engaged in the same unhealthy behaviors that you're trying to overcome — whether it's substance abuse or simply a negative attitude — can be damaging to your well-being.
- Avoid a sense of duty. The best support systems have no strings attached. If your peers are constantly demanding repayment for their efforts, or you feel pressured to conform to their beliefs, you're probably better off without them.
- Pick the right supporter. If you need help through a hard time, consider carefully which friend or family member to ask. A sibling might not be the best choice, for example, in dealing with grief over a lost parent because he or she too is affected by the loss.
The bottom line: More friends, less stress
It's always a good time to make more friends or improve on the relationships you already have. Whether you're the one getting the support or the one doling out the encouragement, you'll reap the rewards of comfort and compassion.
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