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Stress relief: When and how to say no
Sure it's easier to say yes, but at what price to your peace of mind? Here's why saying no may be a healthier option for stress relief.By Mayo Clinic staff
Is your plate piled high with deadlines and obligations? Are you trying to cram too many activities into too little time? If so, stress relief can be as straightforward as just saying no.
Why say no?
The number of worthy requests isn't likely to lessen, and you can't add more time to your day. Are you doomed to be overcommitted? The answer is no, not if you're willing to say no. It may not be the easy way, but it is a path to stress relief.
Keep in mind that being overloaded is individual. Just because your co-worker can juggle 10 committees with seeming ease doesn't mean you should be able to. Only you can know what's too much for you.
Consider these reasons for saying no:
- Saying no isn't necessarily selfish. When you say no to a new commitment, you're honoring your existing obligations and ensuring that you'll be able to devote high-quality time to them.
- Saying no can allow you to try new things. Just because you've always helped plan the company softball tournament doesn't mean you have to do it forever. Saying no gives you time to pursue other interests.
- Always saying yes isn't healthy. When you're overcommitted and under too much stress, you're more likely to feel run-down and possibly get sick.
- Saying yes can cut others out. On the other hand, when you say no, you open the door for others to step up. They may not do things the way you would, but that's OK. They'll find their own way.
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- Charlesworth EA, et al. Stress Management: A Comprehensive Guide to Wellness. New York, N.Y.: Ballantine Books; 2004:238.
- Ury W. The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes. New York, N.Y.: Bantam Dell; 2007:17.
- Stephens DC, et al. This Is Not the Life I Ordered: 50 Ways to Keep Your Head Above Water When Life Keeps Dragging You Down. San Francisco, Calif.: Conari Press; 2007:62.
- Seaward BL. Essentials of Managing Stress. 3rd ed. Sudbury, Mass.: Jones & Bartlett Publishers; 2014:131.
- How can I manage stress? American Heart Association. http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/GettingHealthy/StressManagement/Stress-Management_UCM_001082_SubHomePage.jsp. Accessed May 23, 2013.