With Mayo Clinic oncologist Edward T. Creagan, M.D.

Somewhere along the line, I thought that life would be neat and tidy, that there would be a light at the end of the tunnel, and that the rainbow would finally break through the storm. As each of us gets older, we painfully learn that no one promised us a rose garden and sometimes things just do not work out the way we had planned. So, how do we creatively deal with the disappointments and the frustrations and the setbacks that plague each of us?

If I have learned anything from 31 years of medicine, it is one simple fact: regardless of the size of the checkbook, the size of the cabin, the number of boats and SUVs in the garage, everyone without exception has crosses to bear and setbacks and disappointments. It is just the way life is.

So, what can we learn from many of the survivors from whom we hear in our community online? Among the heroes and heroines who are part of our stress blog, we see resiliency and fortitude and perseverance. We also see the hope that somehow tomorrow will be a better day.

After all, we cannot change people; if we think that stuff and things will make us happy, we will be bitterly disappointed. What we can change is our attitude, our way of reframing a problem.

OK, so my book was rejected by a publisher or I did not make the honor roll or I was passed over for a promotion. I can whine and complain or I can ask myself a simple question: what have I learned from this experience, how can I profit from this setback so that tomorrow will be better than today?

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