
- With Mayo Clinic emeritus consultant
Jay L. Hoecker, M.D.
read biographyclose windowBiography of
Jay L. Hoecker, M.D.
Jay Hoecker, M.D.
Dr. Jay Hoecker, an emeritus member of the Department of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine, brings valuable expertise to health information content on primary care pediatrics. He has a particular interest in infectious diseases of children.
He's a Fort Worth, Texas, native, certified as a pediatrician by the American Board of Pediatrics and a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics. He was trained at Washington University's St. Louis Children's Hospital, and in infectious diseases at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. He has been with Mayo Clinic since 1989.
"The World Wide Web is revolutionizing the availability and distribution of information, including health information about children and families," Dr. Hoecker says. "The evolution of the Web has included greater safety, privacy and accuracy over time, making the quality and access to children's health information immediate, practical and useful. I am happy to be a part of this service to patients from a trusted name in medicine, to use and foster all the good the Web has to offer children and their families."
Infant and toddler health (6)
- Flu shots for kids: Does my child need a flu shot?
- Baby Einstein DVDs: Good for infant development?
- Vaccination schedule: Why so many so fast?
- see all in Infant and toddler health
Newborn health (8)
- Newborn sleep: Should I wake my baby for feedings?
- Uncircumcised penis: Is special care needed?
- Baby poop: What's normal?
- see all in Newborn health
Infant health (19)
- Breast-feeding and alcohol: Is it OK to drink?
- Karo syrup for constipation: OK for babies?
- Breast-feeding strike: Why do babies refuse to nurse?
- see all in Infant health
Question
Terrible twos: Why are 2-year-olds so difficult?
I've heard a lot about the terrible twos. Why are 2-year-olds so difficult?
Answer
from Jay L. Hoecker, M.D.
The terrible twos are a normal stage in a toddler's development characterized by mood changes, temper tantrums and a familiarity with the word "no." The terrible twos typically occur when toddlers begin to struggle between their reliance on adults and their desire for independence, which may begin even before a child's first birthday. One minute a child may be clinging to his or her parents, and the next he or she is running in the opposite direction and disobeying them.
While the terrible twos can be difficult for parents and caregivers to navigate, keep in mind that 2-year-olds don't have it easy. No longer infants but not quite ready for preschool either, 2-year-olds undergo major motor, intellectual, social and emotional changes. Their vocabulary is constantly growing, they're eager to do things on their own, and they begin to discover that they're expected to follow certain rules. However, most 2-year-olds still aren't able to move as swiftly as they'd like, clearly communicate their needs or control their feelings. This can lead to frustration and result in misbehavior — in other words, the terrible twos.
If your child is in the midst of the terrible twos, expect that you'll occasionally lose patience with each other. Try to stay calm, however. When your child has a temper tantrum, offer comfort or ignore the behavior. Try to limit your use of the word "no" and, instead, use other forms of discipline, such as redirection or humor. In addition, be sure to praise your child for appropriate behavior. By accepting the changes your child is going through and showing him or her love and respect, you'll help your child make it through this difficult stage with confidence. Next questionToddler speech development: Are 2-year-olds understandable?
- Social development: Two year olds. American Academy of Pediatrics. http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/pages/Social-Development-2-Year-Olds.aspx. Accessed Sept. 1, 2010.
- Shelov SP, et al. Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5. 5th ed. Elk Grove Village, Ill.: Bantam; 2009:325.
- Altmann TR. The Wonder Years: Helping Your Baby and Young Child Successfully Negotiate the Major Developmental Milestones. American Academy of Pediatrics. New York, N.Y.: Bantam Dell; 2006:126.
- Hoecker JL (expert opinion). Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn. Oct. 1, 2010.

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